Friday, May 05, 2006

My modest proposal

I'm pleased to present the DovBear solution (TM) to the ilegal immigrant problem. It's an approach that's bound to please law and order Republicans and well as Democrats, like me, who are reluctant to penalize people who come to this country searching for a better life.

Are you ready?

What we should do is make the hiring of undocumented aliens a capital defense. That's right, I am calling for the death penalty for any businessman or home-owner who hires an illegal immigrant. Because the death penalty is such a great deterrent, I expect that my plan with cause the demand for illegal immigrant labor to disapear overnight. Mexicans who wish to participate in the richness of the American economy will have no choice but to proceed through legal channels; if they don't they'll be unemployable.

The only glitch in my plan is this: Once it becomes illegal, on pain of death, to employ them, what should be done with all the undocumented immigrants currently at work in this country? After the DovBear solution (TM) is implemented, they'll all be out of work. I suppose we could always butcher and eat them, but I think that expelling them would work just as well. In cattle cars, if possible.


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