Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A beloved celebrity has died... now what?

Let's say a beloved non-Jewish celebrity has died. How do the Jewish vertically integrated digital-media companies report it?

BNJC's manager's cousin was married to a Jew, therefore we deserve credit for all of his accomplishments.

BNJC is dead and it's Obama's fault.

Eight depressing Israeli novelists weigh in on BNJC .

Honest Reporting:
ALERT! Read the NYT and Guardian headlines about BNJC's death and you can't miss their virulent anti-Israel bias.

Yeshiva World News:
EXCLUSIVE: YWN is now EXCLUSIVELY reporting that our reporter has EXCLUSIVELY confirmed that BNJC has died.

Cross Currents
BNJC may have bashed homosexuals and women all the time, while publicly calling for Jews to convert but we admire him anyway because he was such a devout Christian.

Rabbi Stephen Pruzanskey
Now that I have written 10,000 words of self-righteous, high drodgeon blather containing dozens of facts I personally invented, I leave you no choice but to accept that Obama is Hitler incarnate. Oh and some hippie liberal died.
Israelly Cool:
Separated at Birth: Check out the muppet or troll to whom BNJC bares a passing resemblance!

Rabbi's drasha (Modern Orthodox):
Here's a gratuitous and irrelevant positive mention of BNJC (He loved Israel!)

Rabbi's drasha (Yeshivish ):
Here's a gratuitous and irrelevant negative mention of BNJC (He had no idea what real happiness is!)

Local Jewish fishwrapper:
Elderly resident recounts meeting BNJC at airport. Awkward photo included.

Viral Facebook post:BNJC was being treated with a drug developed in Israel. Why is no one mentioning this!?!??

NOTE: 98 percent of this great post was written by Yehudi Pashuti  )

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Friday, January 22, 2016

Why did God take us into the desert rather than on the road to the land of the Philistines

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt. So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.-- Exodus 13:17-18

Question on God: According to the traditional way of reading this passage God took the people into the desert, rather than in the direction of the Philistines, because He wanted to avoid war.

Only the very next thing that happens is the Red Sea confrontation with Egypt! God's entire plan seems to backfire. Instead of avoiding war, we end up right in the middle of one. And just as God feared the Jews immediately started complaining that they wanted to return to Egypt. So what was gained by God's change of direction?

And what about that change of direction in the first place? Weren't we always suppose to go into the desert and receive the Torah? Wasn't that the whole purpose of the Exodus? Didn't God say "And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." So why does our verse seem to suggest that going to that mountain is now something of an afterthought?

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Thursday, January 21, 2016

What do actual Israelis think about Obama's deal with Iran?

What do actual Israelis think about Obama's deal with Iran?

Well, many people on the street are convinced that the deal spells disaster.

More in the know Israelis see things differently, including:
  • Efraim Halevy, Mossad Director; former head of National Security Council
  • Shlomo Ben-Ami, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Internal Security
  • Shlomo Brom, brigadier general; former director of IDF strategic planning division; former deputy national security advisor
  • Uzi Arad, national security advisor
  • Dov Tamari, military intelligence chief; former head of special operations
  • Chuck Freilich, deputy national security advisor
  • Yitzhak Ben-Yisrael, Chair of Israel’s space agency; former IDF general
  • Uzi Even, lead scientist at Israel’s Dimona nuclear reactor
  • Eran Etzion, Deputy Head of the Israeli National Security Council; former Head of Policy Planning at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
  • Israel Ziv, major general
  • Eli Levite, deputy director general of Israel’s atomic energy commission

So who are you going to trust? Some semi-racist big mouth who gets his news from A7, or the high-ranking Israelis who have dedicated their professional careers to keeping Israel safe?
Haaretz reports that an impressive list of top Israeli military brass support the deal with Iran. These military leaders wrote a letter to Netanyahu urging…

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Police brutality in Israel

This is a story of police brutality and malfeasance told by a Jewish man from Modi'in. He says he was physically and mentally abused, harassed, separated from his family and terrorized by the Israel police despite the fact that he is completely, totally and utterly innocent.

During the ordeal, he was interrogated in a language he doesn't fully understand and beaten when he wouldn't sign a document he couldn't read. And this being Israel they were allowed to do all of it without an attorney present.

Arabs of course have been telling these types of horror story for years. Their homes are invaded in the middle of the night. They are accosted in the street, held without charges, beaten, tortured. When one of them is shot, the cops tell everyone the victim was a terrorist (just as every block man shot by the police in America "was reaching for what looked like a gun."

The typical Jewish response to these atrocities is always to defend the authorities. Any Arab who tangles with a cop or soldier is automatically presumed guilty as "our boys" are always professional, courteous and committed to justice. 

Well, after you've read the man from Modiin's experience let's see see what you think about that.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Monday, January 18, 2016

God is incapable of feeling pain

A "godol" who suggests something we do causes God pain is a godol I find immediately suspicious. If you dial the number, hold on to your wallet.

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Friday, January 15, 2016

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Rooting for Daniel Shwartz

Rockland Lawyer Daniel Schwartz now has a huge X on his back and I fear for what the forces of the Inquisition might do to him, but man.... I leapt out of my seat when he landed this blow on fat, arrogant Gordimer's nose:
Gordimer’s tactics do achieve one purpose; they squelch free and open debate. It’s always been true, that throughout history, as information became and becomes more and more available to the masses, Judaism in any of its forms, is only as successful and meaningful to people as its ability to compete in the free marketplace of ideas. That’s especially true of any Orthodoxy as it draws its legitimacy from defending tradition and cleaving to practices that appear anachronistic or worse to the casual observer or neophyte seeker. Modern Orthodoxy has the added challenge of articulating how to go about incorporating practices and values that are not specifically Jewish into the Halachik orbit, whilst not altering Judaism’s basic form. But Gordimer, via his denigration of Open Orthodoxy and its leadership, refuses to engage in free and open debate, to compete in the free marketplace of ideas. And that refusal is tantamount to an admission on his part that in fact Modern Orthodoxy has nothing to contribute to the discussion, has nothing to offer those who are troubled by the status quo. For Gordimer, one is either “in or out,” a true believer or a heretic. But it is Gordimer’s worldview that is rendered out. Why should an outsider take him seriously, when he takes no one, other than himself and those who think as he does, seriously?"
Team Gordimer operates under the premise that some truths are self-evident, and just not up for debate, but they forget that Jews have been debating interpretations and applications since the time of the mishna at least.

Moreover, if human history has shown us one things it is this: the only way to get at the truth is via dialogue and debate. You've got to constantly  test and defend and refine your ideas, always allowing the best argument to carry the day.

Truth, by definition, is available to human beings only in partial ways - our knowledge is imperfect. When people bring their own thoughts and their own experiences to the group -where they offer and accept criticism, and honor the positions of others- our ideas are refined, and this process makes the ideas better. When Judaism teaches that there are 70 faces to the Torah it is recognizing that human knowledge is subjective, and that truth can only be reached cooperativly. So though I agree that Judaism is not a democracy, I insist that democracy has a certain holiness because when it is used correctly and in good faith, the community draws nearer to the truth.

This is what Gordimer seeks to undermine, and its why he must be stopped

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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

OK God, it's put up or shut up time. Lakewood is in the game.

For their next #histadlus move, the yeshiva will be putting your paycheck down on red 27  

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Idiot of the day: Joe Scarborough

Here's an example of a very stupid tweet:

Some of the better rejoinders.

And then we have this, which says it all

And of course, who doesn't feel bad for the Cruz and Rubio speech writers who were up all night writing awesome anti-Obama demagoguery that now reads like "Dewey Beats Truman"

Monday, January 11, 2016

No Rey dolls...

I'm a feminist - promise - but I can't support the men and women who are criticizing Hasbro for the lack of Rey in their Star Wars merchandising. Hasbro doesn't exist to empower women. It exists to make money. If the market research suggested Rey action figures would sell, Hasbro would make them by the truck load.

 The lack of Rey merchandise doesn't tell us Hasbro hates women. It tells us Hasbro has determined people, generally, won't buy Rey merchandise.

I mean let's look at Burger King. They won't sell gefilte fish. Is that bigotry? Or has someone intelligently determined that Berger King will make more money selling cheeseburgers and less money selling Jewish delicacies?

Like the women who want to see a Rey doll, it would warm my heart to see the major chains selling cholent and kugel; but the fact that they have not isn't a hate crime. Its a business decision.

Answering Garnel

Last week, Garnel may have set a record for most poorly considered comments on a single thread. Here are the foolish things he said, with my replies:

GARNEL: Don't doubt for a second that if, instead of israel, she'd maligned gays or Obama, DB and all his comrades would be coming down on her like a pile of bricks

DB: Gays and Obama are maligned all the time. Huge swaths on the Internet are dedicated to this, above everything else. Can you find a single instance of me "coming down on them like a ton of bricks?" Have you ever seen me try to whip up a Twitter storm of abuse and disparagement like the tornado of hatred that the Hasbrah Twitter community brought down on that girls head (It was severe enough to provoke an Anonymous Op!!) Yes, people malign Obama and gays, but  I don't stalk the perpetrators, or harass them, or do any of the other rude things the hasbarah hounds did to this poor girl.


GARNEL: Yeah, yeah, you don't hate Israel

DB: Correct. I don't hate Israel. I hate extreme RW politicians and their fascist, demagogic behavior. I hate the brutality and injustice of the occupation and the way its corroding society and turning Israel into a pariah state. But I am able to separate all that from "Israel". Clearly you can't.


GARNEL: Oh come on, DB. Let's imagine this girl's posts had been laced with "F--k Mohammed" and "F--k Islam". Do you expect us to believe that there wouldn't be a huge outcry calling for her to be publicly disemboweled? That you would say "Now hang on, she's entitled to an opinion"?

DB:  I've frequently defended people who insult the prophet on free speech grounds. I'm a free speech absolutist. Everyone gets to say anything they like, in the service of an actual argument.(In fact, I encouraged people to answer  Benny with arguments, rather than harassment!)  Garnel, I can't believe you don't know this, and can only assume you're lying out of malice.

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Thursday, January 07, 2016


She can say what she likes and you can respond as you wish. But don't try to shut her up, and you better play fair when you're playing with a 16 yr old.

Unfortunately, some of the armchair Zionist chickenhawk blogs are already giving her the "treatment", but Benny's holding her own. Also, unfortunately, some truly vile Jew-haters are offering her Twitter warmth and comfort.

Did she say something dumb? Sure. She's 16. So tell her she's wrong. Or ignore her because, hey, she's 16. Don't release the hasbarah hounds on her, in all their ad hom, obnoxious glory. When you attack a 16 year old girl personally, with threats, and insults about her appearance, you're trying to shut her up. And that's where we part company.

I hope that harassment from the Jews doesn't drive her into the terrorist camp, and I hope anti-Semites and other vile scum don't find a way to manipulate her She's just a kid, testing her powers, and speaking her mind. There's nothing scary or threatening or dangerous about that. Let her be.

#IStandWithBenny She can say what she likes and you can respond as you wish. But don't try to shut her up, and you...
Posted by Dov Bear on Thursday, January 7, 2016
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More from Libby

Heavens. What kind of MONSTER would make up a fake letter for the purpose of advancing an agenda??

On FB it was suggested that our hero should be headed to a yeshiva ketana, rather than a factory. I think that's right.

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Its not your ruchniyos that is in danger...

[BREAKING!] Invisible pathogen attacks two girls. Effects intangible, immeasurable. Girls greatly alarmed.
WTF? "Non Jews and shmutz?

And dear Parents and Teachers: Making your kids and students think that any encounter with a non Jew or "shmutz" (A newspaper? A fast-food jingle?) puts a "dent" in your neshama and renders you impure is a form of child abuse.

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

How do you spell shabbos?

Call me a backwards, old fool or a fuddy-duddy conservative but I liked it so much better when we used the pro-Zionist, three letter spelling of the word shabbos....

Monday, January 04, 2016

Mishpacha Magazine soft on Ervah

Friend on the Twitter says this was published in Mishpacha Magazine... which might be the best thing ever. It's so nice to see the right wing world being so healthy and tolerant about homosexuality.

Mizrahi Madness

Yosef Mizrachi is an idiot for more reasons than I can count... but the recent outrage he committed does, inadvertently, raise an interesting academic question: How many of the 6M* holocaust victims were non-Jews according to Orthodox halacha? 100K? 500K?

[In a video, Mizrachi was caught saying that 5 million holocaust victims were "not Jews" according to Orthodox halacha - but that is insane.]

What's your best guess?

PLEASE NOTE: Like most academic questions, this is not a matter of life or death. In fact, it doesn't "matter" at all. It's as trivial an issue as anything else you see on Facebook. But I'm curious...

*6 million is just a round number. According to Holocaust scholars the actual number is somewhere around 5.85. This also doesn't "matter" Its just something to keep in mind if you're going to try to math out the answer to my trivial question.

Not that I wish to defend him, but he hasn't denied the holocaust. He agrees there were 6 million victims.

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