Magilla Meme

This first appeared last year.

Over at Ren Reb a new and exciting meme has been created:

Things I think about during magilla reading (besides Russel Crowe).

And though she hasn't exactly tagged me (Ren Reb looks, but she doesn't touch) I thought I'd play along. So here, in no particular order, are some of the thoughts that danced through my sugar and caffeine deprived mind on Monday night.

* Man, I can lain so much better than this dope. How many more notes is he going to miss? Why don't they ever ask me to read the megillah? I bet it's because I say Achash-vey-rosh instead of Achash-vey-roysh. That's it, I just know it. Well, screw them.*

* Why didn't they have co-ed parties in ancient Persia? I mean, how pious were these people, that Vashti and the women were kept separate from Achashveyrosh and the men? And if all that separation didn't help the ancient court of Persia stay proper and moral, why do 21st century Jews think it's worth doing?

* Hey, it doesn't say anywhere that Vashti was killed. Only that her estate was taken away. I have read the megillah maybe 1000 times. How did I miss that? Suddenly, I feel like an old friend of mine who reached the ripe old age of 30 without realizing that the story of Abraham smashing the idols is nowhere in the Hebrew bible. Or the friend who reacts with shock, horror and disgust whenever he's told that Rashi's understanding of a particular verse is rejected by rabbis of equal stature. It's a little scary how the things we're taught as kids can be so powerful - and misleading.

* Why don't the kids and adults who swarm around the shul looking for handouts on Purim ever say anything when they ask you for your money? They just stick their hand in your face and sort of shake it. You're supposed to guess what they want, and who they are collecting for, I guess. Some of them even do this right in the middle of davening. You can be saying shema, or even shmona esray and some scarecrow will come over and rattle his hand under your nose. My policy is to ignore people who don't speak, and to pummel people who bother me during prayers. I confess I am not as religious as I should be about following this policy, but I plan to work on my shortcoming, so that next year I am ready.

* Esther 4:13-14 is an awesome verse (and I am not just saying that because Ren Reb did, too. ) Aside from all the things RenReb likes about it, I also appreciate the lack of certainty. When Mordichai tells Esther she needs to speak up for her people, he doesn't say,"There are no coincidences! The only reason you became queen is because the Jews need your help!" No. What he says is: "And who knows maybe it's for just this purpose [i.e., to save the Jewish people] that you became queen?" Get that everyone? Mordichai is unsure. And he's not so vulgar as to speak for God, even when his life, and the life of everyone he knows, is on the line. Nowadays, GOP-Jews would probably chastise Mordichai for his lack of faith, ("What do you mean? Of course Esther became queen for the sake of saving the Jews.") but GOP-Jews would have also probably bowed down to Haman, too. ("Come on! The evangelical idol worshippers are our best friends ever! No one loves Jews like they do!")

Keep the meme alive! What did you think about during megillah reading?

I am tagging... [Note: Remarks about other bloggers were written last year, and are intended as jokes. If you are the blogger and this distrbs you, tell me and I will take it down]

Ezzie: ("What a bunch of Democrats those liberal, hedonist Persians were, raising taxes and wasting money on luxurious parties. I bet there were lots of movie stars and celebrities at those parties, too.)

Chardal: ("Man, I love Purim, and not just because we get to slaughter our enemies with extreme malice. Really!)

CWY: ("The liberal media sure did a job on Haman. As the Wall Street Journal makes clear, Haman's concern was national security, and only a liberal-weenie-wimp would object to a program that makes your country safer and stronger.")

A note to my readers

Additional instances of plagiarism not caught during the Ren Reb's Copyscape review are in the process of being corrected. I will continue to examine my blog and to correct every instance of plagiarism that I discover. Future examples of plagiarism and/or phrase-borrowing brought to my personal attention via email will also be corrected. It's extremely important to me that the blog be clean, and any help you can provide me in this endeavor will be appreciated. Thank you

What will Aguda do? II (the stupid approach continued)

If not a ban, perhaps takanos? [prohibitions, or decrees]

The other day some of put our imaginations to work and came up with a set of takanos we fear the Agudah might issue at their Big Blog Meeting this week. They follow:

Rav DovBear:
1 - Thou shalt kill the messanger
2 - If the messanger is anonymous, thou shalt kill his methods and tactics.
3 - Thou shalt not question
4 - Thou shalt refer to every Jew as Rav, every shul rabbi as HaRav, every Rosh Yeshiva as HaRav HaGaon, every Christian minister as "our good friend" and every modern orthodox so-called rabbi as "that guy"
5 - Comments are to be deleted
6 - If a leftie Jew did it: KILL KILL KILL. If a rightwing Christian did it: SPIN SPIN SPIN
7 - He who does not support likud shall be construed as an anti-semite.
8 - Thou shalt denigrate poor people who rely on state handouts and occasionaly riot in the streets - unless they wearblack hats, in which case, thou shalt feel free to spin.
9 - Any statement by any Rishon that can be construed to undermine the most maximalistic possible interpretation of the Rambam's 8th ikkar shall be suppressed or attributed to a renegade student.

Rabanit Tzipora:
1 - If a poster is revealed as a woman, thou shalt disparage her ability to understand Torah
2 - Thou shalt strongly oppose poor people who are non-Jews no matter what the color of their skin.
3 - Thou shalt strongly support rich people who are non-Jews, no matter the color color of their hats.

Rav GH:
1. The Gay Parade shall be referred to as 'The Abominable Parade', Gay people as 'The Abominable People' and gay creatures made out of frozen water as 'The Abominable Snowmen'.
2. Evolution shall be referred to as 'The So Called 'Theory' of Evolution'.
3. Science shall be referred to as 'Goyish, Atheistic "So Called" Science' and Scientists as 'Goyish, Atehistic, "So Called" Scientists' , except when a scientist attempts to prove the Bible is true, in which case he is to be referred to as a 'World famous expert'.
4. Thou shalt aid in covering up all scandals, defamation and other bad things spread about organizations whose sterling image we wish to support at all times, never mind whether or not it's true
5. Thou shalt aid in exposing all scandals, defamation and other bad things spread about organizations whose sterling image we wish to destroy at all times, never mind whether or not it's true
6. If a Chareidi Rav is implicated in a sex scandal, though shalt judicously ignore it, except if someone snitches to the police, in which case thou shalt condemn the snitcher in the strongest possible way.
7. If a so called 'Rabbi' from Reform, Conservative or LW MO community is implicated in a sex scandal, or even better, an atheist, thou shalt use it as an opportunity for some snide remarks about how only Torah True Jews can be moral, since only we possess the ultimate guide to objective morality.

Rav Qwerty
1 - Thou shalt oppose homosexual sex except when (verbally) [deleted] Christian ministers.
2 - Thou shalt delete DovBear's comments.
3 - Thou shalt drop the names of famous Christian ministers.

Rabbanit Willendorf
Thou shalt condemn as sinful and disgusting books thou hast not read and movies thou hast not viewed.

SUVs are for weanies

Do you drive an SUV? According to the new Hummer Ad this is proof positive that you're a weak-wristed girly-man with something to hide.

I can't say I'm surprised. It's long been my opinion that a man who lives on a cule-de-sac only purchases a giant car for ego and image purposes. In the suburbs they serve no other purpose.

I feel the same way about tables in shuls, incidently. Though I admit it's comfortable to have a place to rest your books and your bags, the real reason people like tables in their shuls is because when you are sitting at one, surrounded by stacks of books, it's easy to deceive yourself into thinking that you're a scholar in a study hall. I don't own an SUV, but I bet that sitting in the cockpit of those monsters offers a similarly heady experience. In a shul full of tables a yeshiva alum who hasn't read a word of Aramic in 20 years can pretend that he's unmarried, unruined and immersed in the study of torah; behind the wheel of an SUV, its owner can pretend that he's something other than overwight, middle-aged and far less virol then he once was.

Bloggers who certainly don't own SUVs
MoChassid*
PsychoToddler*
Treppenwitz
ChayyaiSarah
Ren Reb
OrthoMom
Gil*
BOTH

Bloggers who might own SUVs
Ezzie*
GodolHador
Chaim Rubin
Joe Settler
Akiva*
Jameel*
Mirty

*Probably has tables in his shul

Mavin yavin

ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb ren reb

The real danger to Israel’s security

It seems that J. Bradford Delong would be better sticking to economics (his specialty) or at least spend a few minutes on Wikipedia before he starts making incendiary political comments:

Lieberman's "we criticize the commander-in-chief at our own peril line" is indeed despicable. More despicable, in my view, is his twenty years of anti-Israel rhetoric. It has been obvious since the late 1970s that for American politicians to coquette with the anexationist fantasies of Likud is to raise the chance that Tel Aviv will become a radioactive abattoir sometime in the next half century. Joe Lieberman surely knows this. But he keeps on coquetting. To curry favor and contributions from AIPAC by doing what you can to undermine the long-run security of Israel--that is truly beneath contempt.

Wow.

Now, if I were a Connecticut resident, I, too would probably vote in the Democratic primary to send Senator Lieberman into a well-deserved retirement, and I’m even willing to concede that the program of the Likud may well turn Tel Aviv in to a “radioactive abattoir” sometime in the next 50 years. (Though I think that the greatest danger is that the program of the Israeli right will turn Tel Aviv into Mea Sha’aerim or B’nai Brak, which might even be worse.)

But De Long presents no evidence that Holy Joe is a tool of Netanyahu’s bible thumping cabal. Yes, people like Rabbi Michael Lerner aren’t exactly enamored of the man, but even Reb Tikkun admits that Joe was probably supportive of the evil Oslo Accords back in the ‘90s. In fact, Joe, like most American Jewish machers, was the type to (at least publicly) support whatever party line was emanating from Jerusalem. No wonder Joe started supporting the Likud in “the late 1970s.” Guess what happened in 1977? The Likud won its first election ever in over 2,000 years. Up to that point, all the machers supported Labor, but while they weren’t sure whether they liked the idea of supporting the “terrorist” Menachem Begin, they gulped, and decided that supporting Israel was more important than getting too involved in Israeli politics. And none of this had anything to do with kissing AIPAC’s ass.

(Another relevant point: In 1977, Joe was a state senator, not exactly a postion where his support for Likud would be relevant, even if it existed. He wasn't elected US Senator until 1988.)

And I hope Dr. DeLong doesn’t have some warm ‘n fuzzy fantasy about the Labor Party “peaceniks.” Sure, members of the “Peace camp” in Israel are almost all leftists, but not everybody in the Labor Party is a “peacenik.” The first West Bank settlements, after all, were set up under Labor governments who essentially caved to the messianic mishugass of the Gush Emunim. (Just as the great Ben Gurion caved to the demands of the hareidim to allow Orthodoxy to be the only state-sanctioned Judaism in the country.) I recommend an piece in the Washington Jewish Week : “Outpost showdown? Israel aims to take down renegade settlements” by Leslie Susser where it’s pointed out that out of 105 illegal (“illegal” by Israeli law) outposts, only 24 were set up after March 2001, on the watch of the evil warmonger Ariel Sharon. While some of these outposts were no doubt erected during the dubious tenure of Mr. Netanyahu, it’s an inescapable conclusion that a lot of these obstacles to peace were established under the administrations of Yitzchak Rabin, Shimon Peres, and Ehud Barak. And people wonder why Oslo failed.

So DeLong is wrong about Lieberman and his relationship with the Likud, and also wrong about the Likud being the only danger to Israel’s security. But he is right on the money when it comes to the real danger to Israel’s security: The annexationist fantasies.

So, too bad for the right wing: It’s not fair, but the religious rightists and their secular fellow travelers today don’t get the same free pass that the leftists got back in ’48. Yes, the leftists stole Arab land in 1948-9, but they were doing so for Jewish survival. .Today’s settlers, however, do it for a ridiculous messianic fantasy that, like all messianic fantasies in Jewish history, will lead the Jews to ruin.

She took the words right out of my mouth....

Renegade Rebbetzin: You say tomato....:

"I'm still sick, seething, and miserable. Not just about Kolko, but about the whole stack of - of - stuff. I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand stupidity and idiocy, I can't stand evil and depravity, and above all, I absolutely cannot, cannot tolerate people who think a person's immense Torah knowledge makes them an expert on everything else.

If you think a person who has studied and taught Torah their entire life, and has does so on a level that elevates their neshamah and the neshamot of those around them to a point that is palpable in its sheer kedusha; if you think such a person MUST THEREFORE BE an expert in education, psychology, and interpersonal relations, well, then, you're an idiot and a blind fool, and Hashem have mercy on the people you infect with this warped delusion. I have seen people's lives destroyed because of this fantasy, and plenty of people who have ended up abandoning Judaism because of it as well.

A person who is a gadol b'Torah MIGHT also be talented in other spheres, and he or she ALSO MIGHT NOT BE. I don't understand why this notion is met with such outraged hostility on the parts of so many otherwise intelligent and educated individuals.

Sing it sister. I agree with you 110 percent, Even if you would (correctly) defer to the gadol b'Torah's knowledge and experience on questions of Halacha and hashkofa, why would you also defer to him on question of, say math, or history, or education? Excellence at everything, doesn't nec. follow from excellence at Torah.

PS: Incidently, the silliest statement about science I ever heard in my whole life came from the great teacher of Talmud I mentioned this morning. We were discussing evolution, and as he attempted to discredit the theory, it became clear that he thought the long discredited ideas of Jean-Baptiste Lamarck still had currency. "It doesn't make sense," he said, "that a giraffe's offspring would inherit his long neck, just because the very first giraffe stretched his neck a little bit. I have big forearms [they were like Popeyes] from weight-lifting, but none of my kids do."

Also, he flirted with the idea that the Earth was the center of the universe, and cruelly mocked the "atheist scientists" at NASA who said different. Still, we all thought he was a great teacher of Talmud, and so long as he stayed silent on the subject of science, there was nothing even slightly upseting about him.

Summer Projects

Summer: A wonderful time to tackle forgotten responsibilities. I, myself, plan to finish some important work under my own name, and I hope also to return to the long neglected anthologies. What follows are a short list ofprojects I wish some other bloggers would complete.

MoChassid: You've been one of my favorite bloggers from the very begining, and most of my original popularity is owed to you, and your hat-tips. The only strike against you is you once called my politics "misguided." Your project: Explain yourself. And be sure to address Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo Bay, white phosphorus, secret prisons, outsourced torture, warrantless wiretapping, Halliburton's No-Bid Bonanza, The Indian Gaming Scandal, Tom DeLay's PAC Problems, the Pundits on the Payroll scandal, the response to Katrina, the Abramoff scandal, the hooker scandal, and the port deal in your discussion of why Jewish Americans should throw their support behind one of the most incompetant administrations in a very long tme.

Mis-nagid: We've seen very little of you since your old blog folded and you abandoned my comment thread for greener pastures. Your project: Come back with a bang. Give us your list of the "Ten Things Every Orthodox Jew Should Know."

Godol Hador: Your blog's original purpose was to defend the idea of the old universe. But, now, more than two years later we still don't have a single, coherent, documented essay which spells out the case. Your project: Thread together your disparate posts on the subject into one essay. Scour it clean of cheap jokes, rumors and innuendo, and provide us for once and for all with a single, unimpeachable document we can distribute without shame or embaressment to our friends and Rabbis.

Renegade Rebbatzin: We've waited almost a year for you to tell us why men are pigs. Your project: Get it done!

Ezzie, CWY, Naphtuli: Like the good little junior conservatives you are you claim that when government intrudes on the free market, it makes things worse. You all, however, make an exception for immigratrion. The United States has a vast market for low-wage labor, and Mexico has a vast supply-- yet you think the federal government can - and should - keep the two apart, if only it would spend more money??? Your project: Now, that you've begin believing in government's ameliorative capacity please explain how the federal government can rid America of poverty.

Credit where Credit is Due II
I wrote this one second, but Jameel posted it first. No biggie. What I like best about this particular effort is the line about the monkeys. Also, I was able to recycle a line or two from YitzhakEyzik which is always preferable to dreaming up new material. This post sort of sounds like him, no?

Mr. President Tear Down This Wall
by Coby MANken

Much as I appreciate the great work my blog colleagues have done recently defending Judaism against the grave and serious homosexual threat, not enough is being done to protect us from an equally serious danger: Scientists.

As you know, over the last 100 years science has been hopelessly corrupted by a certain liberal fairy tale known as "evolution." This concept, hatched by Charles Darwin, a pagan and a Democrat, has, with the passage of time, been embraced as gospel by the liberal, intellectual establishment that rules over our colleges and universities.

Little more than a deranged fantasy, "evolution" is not really science, but perverted liberalism gone wild. It teaches that our sainted grandparents were monkeys, the very same monkeys who are so essential to our ongoing quest for the perfect kiwi-raspberry-scented shampoo.

The great error of the scientists is that they seek to explain things that Rabbis don’t understand. Such chutzpa! And all of this nonsense is the work of the Yetzer Hara (or Satan as my very close Christian friends call him.) Via this liberal “science” the Yetzer Hara subverts our respect for Torah and the Sages by dazzling us with fancy theories and and the pro-evolution statements of Rishonim and Achronim.

If America is to stop its moral decline we need to make sure that our public schools offer a fair & balanced approach to explaining how God invented white people in His image. The unconstitutional effort of renegade school boards to introduce Intelligent Design into science classes is a perfect example of the just and needed erosion of the Church/State wall that is so desperately required. Only when the Church/State wall goes the way of the Berlin Wall will America fulfill its destiny and become a truly wonderful place for Orthodox Jewish families.

Magilla Meme

Over at Ren Reb a new and exciting meme has been created:

Things I think about during magilla reading (besides Russel Crowe).

And though she hasn't exactly tagged me (Ren Reb looks, but she doesn't touch) I thought I'd play along. So here, in no particular order, are some of the thoughts that danced through my sugar and caffine deprived mind on Monday night.

* Man, I can lain so much better than this dope. How many more notes is he going to miss? Why don't they ever ask me to read the megillah? I bet it's because I say Achash-vey-rosh instead of Achash-vey-roysh. That's it, I just know it. Well, screw them.

* Why didn't they have co-ed parties in ancient Persia? I mean, how pious were these people, that Vashti and the women were kept seperate from Achashveyrosh and the men? And if all that seperation didn't help the ancient court of Persia stay proper and moral, why do 21st century Jews think it's worth doing?

* Hey, it doesn't say anywhere that Vashti was killed. Only that her estate was taken away. I have read the megillah maybe 1000 times. How did I miss that? Suddenly, I feel like an old friend of mine who reached the ripe old age of 30 without realizing that the story of Abraham smashing the idols is nowhere in the Hebrew bible. Or the friend who reacts with shock, horror and disgust whenever he's told that Rashi's understanding of a particular verse is rejected by rabbis of equal stature. It's a little scary how the things we're taught as kids can be so powerful - and misleading.

* Why don't the kids and adults who swarm around the shul looking for handouts on Purim ever say anything when they ask you for your money? They just stick their hand in your face and sort of shake it. You're supposed to guess what they want, and who they are collecting for, I guess. Some of them even do this right in the middle of davening. You can be saying shema, or even shmona esray and some scarecrow will come over and rattle his hand under your nose. My policy is to ignore people who don't speak, and to pummel people who bother me during prayers. I confess I am not as religious as I should be about following this policy, but I plan to work on my shortcoming, so that next year I am ready.

* Esther 4:13-14 is an awsome verse (and I am not just saying that because Ren Reb did, too. ) Aside from all the things RenReb likes about it, I also appreciate the lack of certainty. When Mordichai tells Esther she needs to speak up for her people, he doesn't say,"There are no coincidences! The only reason you became queen is because the Jews need your help!" No. What he says is: "And who knows maybe it's for just this purpose [i.e., to save the Jewish people] that you became queen?" Get that everyone? Mordichai is unsure. And he's not so vulgar as to speak for God, even when his life, and the life of everyone he knows, is on the line.

Nowadays, GOP-Jews would probably chastize Mordichai for his lack of faith, ("What do you mean? Of course Esther became queen for the sake of saving the Jews.") but GOP-Jews would have also probably bowed down to Haman, too. ("Come on! The evengelical idol worshippers are our best friends ever! No one loves Jews like they do!")

Keep the meme alive! What did you think about during megillah reading?

I am tagging...

Ezzie: ("What a bunch of Democrats those liberal, hedonist Persians were, raising taxes and wasting money on luxurious parties. I bet there were lots of movie stars and celebreties at those parties, too.)

Chardal: ("Man, I love Purim, and not just because we get to slaughter our enemies with extreme malice. Really!)

CWY: ("The liberal media sure did a job on Haman. As the Wall Street Journal makes clear, Haman's concern was national security, and only a liberal-weenie-wimp would object to a program that makes your country safer and stronger.")

Repeat

RenReb repeated her Tu B'Shvat post from last year so I will, too:

Renegade Rebbetzin: Tu b'Shvat higiyah....: "Let me ask you this - why is it that NONE of my children have learned the 'Tu b'Shvat higiyah' song in school?? None of them. Not even one. What's happening to Jewish education??? They come home with little cups of dirt in which a few grass blades are growing (or in one case, a few leaves, since they planted orange seeds), and they proudly tell me that they planted them in honor of Tu b'Shvat, and they tell me how they ate figs and dates in school and they tell me that it's the special 'Rosh Hashanah for the trees,' but they don't know the song. If I weren't already paying almost nothing for tuition (seeing as how, thank God, the school is well aware of where, precisely, rabbis' salaries rank in the scheme of things), I would demand my money back."

DovBear: DOVBEAR DOUBTS YOU: Sure, Ren Reb, it's a great song, and yes, yes its a biblical tragedy on the level of frogs and locusts that neither your kids nor mine learned it in school this year, but do you know the words?

Not just the 'Tu b'Shvat higiyah' part.

The words.

The Hall of Fame (the hiatus continues)

With my secret mission taking longer to wrap up then anticipated, I thought I'd give the loyal members of DovBear nation something new to argue about during my (very temporary) absence...

And so with very little thought, yet a fair amount of fear and trepidation, I am pleased to introduce...

UPDATE:
(1) Links fixed.
(2) The Hall of Fame is meant to honor sustained excellence, so I didn't put up any new blogs. Of those on the list only GH and OM are younger than me. Basicly, if you're not GH or OM and you started blogging after October, 2004, you were excluded. If you're older than me, and I left you off it was (a) an error (b) an attempt to upset you (c) a personal attack on your dignity and honor as a blogger or (d) done because I hate you. Or, it could be just that you're still going strong. If you notice, hardly anyone on the Hall of Fame list is still blogging at full power.
(3) If some enterprising artist (AirTime?) would like to design a Hall of Fame banner you can put them on your sidebars. Or now. Whatever you like is ok with me. I am here to serve.

DovBear's J-blogosphere Hall of Fame (DovBear, proprietor)

Members: Blogging Division

AidelMaidel
Ari Goes Down
Burry Katz
ChayyeiSarah
Esther Kustanowitz
Godol Hador
Luke Ford
Heimishtown
Hirhurim
Jewlicious
JewSchool
Mobius
MoChassid
OrthoMom
Psychotoddler
Renegade Rebbetzin
She
Steven I. Weiss and Protocols
Team Shaviv
The Shaigetz
Treppenwitz

Members: Service to the J-blogosphere Division
Air Time - For artistic contributions
Aussie Dave - For the Jibs
Mirty - For teaching us all how to code
SoccerDad - For Havel Havalim

Candidate Members: Commenter Division
Note: This is not an exhaustive list, despite my best efforts.

&
4jkb4ia
Annoymous
Anono
Anon
Anono1
Anon2
Air Time
Akiva
Al Gore
Alex
AMP
Amshinover
B. Spinoza
balabustainbluejeans
bishul akum
Back of the Hill
Cara
Chana
chandira
charliehall
chardal
Classmate Wearing Yarmulka
Cyrk
David
Dilbert
Dude
Eliyahu
Elf
Esther Kustanowitz
Ezzie
Frummer????????
GaonOfChelm
Ger Tzadik
Godol Hador
Goldaleah
halfnutcase
Holy Hyrax
Hanan
Jack
Jameel Rashid
Joe Schick
Jewropean
J-Freak
Jeff
justajew
Just Passing Through
Judd
Q-Jew
katieb
Krum
latefordinner
lamedzayin
Lipman
LkwdGuy
Mar Gavriel
Mike Koplow
Mirty
Mis-nagid
Moishe Potemkin
mykroft
Naftuli
Noyam
R2J
R' Hyman Krustowskij
Rebecca
Reb Yudel
REReader
S.
Seth Gordon
Shanna
Shifra
SnoopyTheGoon
Steven Brizel
Steg (dos iz nit der šteg)
Still Wonderin'
Surah Malka
The Town Crier
Yitzchak Goodman
Yoinasaschreiber
Uncle Moishy
Velvateen Rabbi
WBS
Warren
Woodrow

Additional nominees welcome. Let the recriminations begin!

I'm It

Orthomom wants to know what come sup when I hit shuffle on my Ipod, so here goes:

1 - 'Tu b'Shvat higiyah', My daughter

2 - Kol Nidrei, Cantor Yossela Rossenblat.

3 - Where the Streets Have No Name, U2

4 - Pride (In the Name of Love), U2

5 - The One I Love, REM

6 - No Myth, Michael Penn

7 - Settle Down My Boy, Men At Work

8 - Ha'lillu, Kol Achai

9 - Fanfare & Notre Dame Victory March

10 - Fanfare for the Common Man, Aaron Copland

Tagged: Treppenwitz, Mirty, Ren Reb, Crier, Miriam

My First Literary Crush

Slate asks a bunch of famous people ... well, mostly journalists and comedy writers who aren't particularly famous ... to choose the most influential book they read in college.

The two I liked best, back when I was attending old DovBear U, were Stranger in a Strange Land and All the Kings Men, with a slight edge going to SIASL because I liked what Valentine Michael Smith said about all suffering ebing a result of our refusal to grok each other. Also, as an Orthodox Jew, I probably related to Smith as he attempted to integrate himself into the larger, non-Martian culture.

Like you, I'd love to know what other bloggers were reading in College. Some guesses:

OrthoMom: The Handsmaid Tale
Renegade Reb: The Feminine Mystique
Ezzie: X-Men Annual #172 (easy words edition)
Naphtuli: God and Man at Yale
Amshinover: Crazy Horse: The Strange Man of the Oglalas
CWY: How to talk to a liberal (if you must)
Chardal: They Must Go

More later (suggest your own)

Rampaging Rebbetzin

The heliaga work-avoiding Ren Reb takes issue with me here and here (comments)

And in deference to her argument, I'd like to point out to the masses that when the the Sages of Lakewood banned the Internet they used the word "breast" in an appropriate context.

They did not write:

Yowza! There sure are a lot of breasts on the Internet. We ban it!. Go learn Shir Hashirim instead!

They did write:

"I am a wall and my breasts are like towers" In the Talmud Rav Yochanan says "I am a wall" this is the Torah "My breasts are like towers" there are the scholars. And Raba says "I am a wall" this is the congregation of Israel. "My breasts are like towers" there are the synagouges and study halls.

Happy now?

Breasts.

My heroine

It's Ren Reb, of course, who can brawl with the best of them.

(But lay off Toby Katz: She's mine!)

Holes in the J-Blogsphere.

If you're late to the blogging game, and looking for a niche to exploit, there are a few good ones left. As of yet, our little J-blog bubble still has not produced a:

Renegade Rabbi

loud mouth, opinionated (near impossible to read) blog from a Stern girl.

single, man, who writes about dating and/or life in Israel

crotchety psudeo-Hasidic blogger who is devoted to her holy husband.

mother/son news-blogging team.

muckracker dedicated to exposing corruption in the Reform Jewish heirarchy.

well-read, amusing, charedi fanatic who can deliver short, snappy answers to each and every skeptical argument.

Charedi scholar who feels the need to post a gloss on everything he has ever read in his entire life.

liberal team of bloggers who use the Torah as cover for their political agenda.

So, if you're a blog reader who'd like to enter the wonderful, but self-esteem-destroying world of blog writing these are niches you can explore.

Whitewashing the Pope I

Some Hirhurim readers (not Gil himself) are hard at work whitewashing the legacy of John Paul II.

I posted the following comment:

As you consider JP II's legacy, please don't forget that he canonized Pius 9 and Edith Stein, he beatified Pius 12, and he published an encyclical on the church's role in the Holocaust that was a apologist jumble of bad history and wishful thinking.

More

Though many Hirhurim readers (Shlomo, Nachum Klafter) seem to believe that the Pope renounced his church's historic anti-Semitism, they've made no attempt to reconcile their belief with the facts of Pius 9's canonization and Pius 12's beatification.

Pius 9 and Pius 12 were two of the most anti-Semitic popes in history. It is fair to ask: Would a Pope who had truly let go of the Church's shameful past have accorded these men such high honors?

Update: Ren Reb, a sharp cookie who should know better, is also whitewashing the Pope. I hope she's just playing to her non-Jewish readership. I'd hate to think someone as clever as RenReb is unaware of the deliberate offense this Pope gave to the Jews.

Boiling down the blogs

Too dyslexic to read all of the Jewish blogs? Unwilling to invest your precious time in blogs that might not be good? Help is here.

For your convenience, here's a boiled down version of some of the better blogs. [Idea stolen from inspired by Zman Biur]

Mis-Nagid:Yeah, the Torah's a genre mistake.
Bloghd: Yeah, the only commentary on the news you need is me. And my Dad.
Shtriemal: Yeah, my life is a mess, and I'm a big loser. Or, I play one on my blog. No one but my hairdresser knows for sure.
Aidel Maidel: Sorry! Too busy to post.
Godol Hador: Yeah, the Gedolim are whacked (and just between you and me, I am smarter than all of them.).
Shmarya: Yeah, Chabad is whacked.
Pravda Ne'eman:Yeah, the Yated's a tool
Ben Chorin Yeah, the leftists are flushing Israel down the crapper
SoccerDad: Yeah, the media is all lies (except the media I cite favorably on my blog)
MoChassid: Yeah, I'm opinionated. (Prune hamantashin are better, damn it!)
Israelly Cool: Yeah, I hate Arabs. (but I love LGF.)
Noa: Yeah, I'm engaged.
Rashi's Daughter: Yeah, I'm a girl
Velvel: Yeah, I have a band
PsychoToddler:Yeah, I do too
ChayyeiSarah:Yeah, I'm a professional writer (With friends! Lots of friends! Who I love! Yay!)
Kesher: Yeah, I drop a hell of a lot of links (None for you, though, bubalah.)
Urban Kvetch: Yeah, I'm Jewish and funny. Very funny.
Ren Reb: Yeah, I (sometimes) hate being a rebbetzen (but I love rabbis CSI!)
DovBear:Yeah, the GOP is made up of lying, thieving crooks, and 21st century Jewish culture emphasizes the wrong things.
Hirhurim: Yeah, I read way too much ---when I'm not stalking gedolim, that is.

Important NB
If you were excluded I either (a) hate you; (b) am trying to tell you something; (c) frequently get together with other bloggers to talk about you behind your back; (d) consider you and your blog to be both pointless and irrelevant or; (e) find you difficult to sterotype because your blog isn't one dimensional.

Note: Choice (e) is most likely.

Havel Havelim...
...Hakol havel." Or, "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless."

That said, welcome to Edition #12 of Havel Havelim, the weekly roundup of the Jewish blogosphere. Edition #11 is here. Edition #4, also a DovBear production, is here.

Rebbetzin Agonistes. One of our better bloggers, the Ren Reb, is contemplating retirement. Dear Ren Reb: We're with you in your hour of torment. We like your writing. We like your attitude. If you do decide to pack it in, the blogosphere with be poorer. You can guest blog here, anytime.

And therefore? Achar gives a lesson in higher criticism, but it is a one-sided lecture: None of the opponents of the method are discussed. Be like a cloak, Achar. Fall on all sides, equally.

I know that pain: Naomi Chana, of Bareita, says: "I do get uncomfortable, every once in awhile, when something happens to make me realize that there are sane and articulate people out there who consider my form of Judaism so illegitimate as not to be Jewish." I'm Orthodox, NC isn't. But her experiences with the Ordinary Orthodox, echo my own with the Ultras. Mussar haskil: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it.

The Daf is done, &c: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI. And the rest. (You're invited to search DovBear for my own thoughts on the subject.)

Literally: My opponents are pygmies!

The lifespan of man is 120? The JewZoo sees that and raises you 5.

Waste of time: Hirhurim posts the RCA's statament on metzizah b'peh. Why bother? The people who like the RCA, already know that "the requirement of Metzitzah is fulfilled completely and unambiguously by the use of oral suctioning through a tube." The people who don't like the RCA, will say and I quote, "If they told me not to wear tefillin, would I listen?"

Really? In the Yated? The mouth-piece of Meah Sharim slandered Rav M.D. Tendler on the subject of metzizah. Mr. Neklaf has the Rabbi's reply. P.S: Let it be said that Pravada Ne'eman is doing the Lord's work

Insensible: Batya writes "[Yad Vashem] is opening another new wing and the same heads of state who wouldn't come to celebrate live Jews are willing to pay their respects to those murdered in Europe by Nazis and others." A) Many, perhaps most of those leaders represent states that have and/or continue to give money to Israel. B) Celebrate live Jews... how? C) You prefer that they stay home? How is nothing - no recogniziton, no commemoration, no acknowledgement - preferable to this?

Can I plug my own blog? A pair of venerable Jewish mind-sets are on display on this comment thread. My take? Surah Malka's liberalism wins. Liberalism is a more deeply pragmatic approach--more open to change, more receptive to empiricism, and ultimately better at producing policies that improve the human condition--than conservatism. All Surah Malka wants to do is help people. All Repunzel wants to do is shrink government.

More good stuff:
Rose's story continues. PT discovers that what goes around, comes around. Urban Kvetch has a new home, and a new take on Shalit. Miriam discovers the Hezbolleh/Wales connection. Zman Biur considers offering aliyot to women. Ben Chorin attends a wedding; then ponders the awe of heaven. Robert Byrd compares GOP tactics to those of Adolph Hitler, and Z calls foul - on Byrd's critics.

Ha!

Sarah's inner child plays with a Gali doll. Jack says I love you - to a customer. Moby meets a bas kol. MoC's wife chews him out. Lisa cooks strawberry jam. Dilbert posts on the pope. The Hedyot invites the "real Orthodox Judaism" to reveal itself, while Sarah wonders what "Orthodoxy done right" might be. The Barefooted Jew photo blogs, and a great Jewish blogosphere institution is revived.

Sincere apologies to those of you who may feel unloved. By all means, drop an email to yourfavoriteblogger@hotmail.com, and if the spirit moves me, I will address your grievance.

We'll see you next week - March 13th - at Israpundit, for another exercise in Jewish vanity.