Thursday, May 11, 2006

10 things every Jew should know (wrap up)

Having gone through all 137 of your comments, I'm happy to present the final DovBear List of Things Every Orthodox Jew Should Know.

Note: If you suggested something and I left it off the final list this is because you smell. And also I hate you.

The List

1 - It is kosher to disbelieve in magic

2 - It is kosher to take midrashim figurativly

3 - It is kosher to believe in the old universe.

4 - Mixed seating at weddings is mutar.

5- It's not ok to steal from the government or from a Gentile.

6 - One realiable authority on a food product is more then enough.

7 - Black Hats are not required, even in Brooklyn

8 - Reciting Parshas Hamon isn't an ATM.

9 - Gebruchts is not a chumrah.

10 - Living in EY is a mitzva.

11 - Drinking wine in Meron/Going to Meron is not a mitzvah.

12 - Techiyas Hamaysim is not in the Torah

13- Judaism will not end if we give back the Old City.

14 - Moshiach appears no where until Sefer Daniel.

15 - Sefer Daniel was written long after the Jews returned from Bavel.

16 - Arabs are not a monolith. They are not all brothers.

17 - Saving lives superceedes Yishuv Eretz Yisrael.

18 - Midrashim aren't history

19 - Goyim are not a monolith. Nor are they 'background players'.

20 - The Zohar was not written by RSBY.

21 - Rashi is not an anthology of Midrashim

22 - "JB" is a very disrespectful way to refer to a sage.

23 - Amalek is a state of mind and not a race.

24 - You don't automatically have to disagree with everything said by someone non-jewish, non-religious, left-wing, reform, secular, christian etc.

25 - The biggest reason non-frum people don't want to be frum is: the poor behavior of frum people.

26 - It is hypocritical to rubbish science and use the services of a physician at the same time.

27 - It is stealing from the poor to avail yourself of public funds when you have the means to get yourself a job.

28 - It is damn rude to live under the protection of the IDF and then heap abuse upon same institution whilst not contributing to it.

29 - That which is hateful to you do not do to others. That is the whole Torah.

Next Step

I'd like everyone reading this to choose something from the list and write a post about it, and not just any post, but a post that can stand as the difinitive proof that what we are saying here is true and corrrect. If you succeed, your reward is ever-lasting glory, the key to the J-blogosphere washroom, and a link from DovBear.

PS: It's been brought to my attention that some of what appears here is, in point of fact, neither true nor correct. So here's the new deal: If you can prove that anything on this list is false with a post of your own, you'll also earn a link, key to the bathroom, RenReb blow-up doll, etc.

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