Saturday, December 10, 2005


Dear Jewish People:

Each year, at parshas v'yatze, the Jewish boys and girls all come running home with Rashi's story: "Leah cried day and night. Leah cried day and night. Boo hoo hoo."

But don't you pious people do shnayim mikra v'echad targum? And doesn't the targum (Onkelos) translate the verse about my eyes this way: "And the eyes of Leah were beautiful." Why yes, I think it does.

So why isn't this more positive view in circulation? Why am I remembered as the bible's Moaning Myrtle instead of as the chick with the drop -dead gorgeous eyes?

Also, I know you shrewd Jewish businessman prefer to think of Jacob's scheme with the sheep as the archetype example of Jewish cunning. And yes that was a pretty neat swindle. But how about my acquiring a night of hot love for the price of some moldy flowers? That doesn't impress you?

Yours Sincerely,

Leah, Wife of Jacob