Thursday, December 22, 2005

And they say Jews complain too much?

Some Christians gripe over generic "Happy Holidays" greeting

Christians in Westchester NY say they feel persecuted and rejected by society because other Christians have been saying - within earshot of children and priests - the words "Happy Holidays"

Altogether now: boo hoo hoo.

Or as my hero and idol John Stewart, a great American, puts it: ...for some people, there is also a celebration of the New Year. So Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use of the letter "S." Now, I suppose you could say "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" but you probably have (expletive) to do.

More from the whiners of Westchester:

"This is not just a religious celebration, but a cultural one, too. In past years, even in the stores in our area, everything has become so generic -and it is offensive," said the Rev. Brian McSweeney of Our Lady of Loretto Church in Cold Spring, who... after hearing wishes of "Happy Holidays" from storeclerks and local residents who saw him on the street... said he had to take action.

Action? Sounds ominous. Let's hope the good reverand isn't planning to behave like conservative role model Ann Coulter, and run around aggressively saying "Merry Christmas" to everyone -- "You know, cab drivers, passing people on the street, whatever" -- because it's "like saying 'F--k you!'")

Update: No worries! All Rev. McSweeny is doing is encouraging people stupid enough to believe there really is a War against Christmas to wear decidedly unhip lapel buttons with the words "You can wish me a Merry Christmas!" on them. Phew.