Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Dear Friend,

I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness... You must have heard of my husband's secret bank... the total sum allegedly is about $6.5 Billion Dollars... As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman, hence my desire for a foreign assistance. I have deposited the sum of 21 million dollars with a financial firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping... This arrangement will be known to you and I alone and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because our government has tapped all my lines. In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $21,000,000. Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time...

--- Recently received email message.

Frankly, I'm pissed. Someone must have squealed about the similar service I performed for that Nigerian guy. How else could Suha have found out about me?

Look, I know all you ever get is junk e-mail-baldness cures, coupons from Internet casinos, scams from online stockbrokers, but your jealousy is unbecoming. It's not like I advertise for this sort of work. It's all word of mouth, and right now I've got more than I can handle. Do you think it's easy to convince a deposed foreign despot to deposit stolen bullion with an anonymous blogger who seldom even bothers to get dressed anymore and has lost track of his checking account? It's not. It takes salesmanship. It takes panache.

But I guess I'm good at it. These emails keep coming. But please: I don't think I'm special -- any of you would do the same thing.