Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Some great, near great and downright awful Chanukah music and videos (Or an antidote to Maccabeat Madness)

In no particular order, I give you a collection of Chanuka songs that make me happy, angry or indifferent for any number of different reasons.







A song from the 70s (I think) done in the style of the 50s by Tom Lehrer, one the great Jewish singer-songwriter parodists (who, natch, was also something of a mathematician)



I like the Giants, but this is far from their best song; still, it delivers a small grin.




One of the few MBC songs that don't make me hurl. Included here for the video, which is quite good, and because I'm anxious to see what Gaby Dunn will say about the Jewish boychicks from Yeshiva Beit Meir who put it together.



I'm a real fan of this song, and think its a great chizuk for Jewish kids who don't live in Jewish neighborhoods. This clip is the very first performance on SNL "Weekend Update", before anyone thought it would become an evergreen hit. [And note, he says "Don't smoke your Marijuanica"; in subsequent versions the advice changes.]



If you doubt the Sandler song will be here forever, see Version II sung by Oy Capella, a Syracuse glee club, and check out the crowd's reaction (above). Or, see the audience go nuts at Sandler live HBO show (below) esp @3.40 (My favorite line remains "Well he's not, but guess who is? ALL! THREE! STOOGES!"]





Because no discussion of the Sandler song is complete without Neil Diamond's version (which, by the way, is animated like a bad NCSY skit.) (and why is the lonely Jewish kid a fat dork? Doesn't that defeat the whole point?) PS: I like that Santa is depicted as a drunk with a flask containing the gin and tonica.



A very sweet song, cute animation, and some excellent, um, latkes.



A hippie chanukka song from long ago that provides a lovely pretext for the holiday. Someone tell Howard Jacobson



Pure leitzonos from Smooth-E. Will make you laugh.



Kyle's Lonely Jew on Christmas from South Park, or as I call it "The Ultimate Self-Hating Jew's Ultimate Self-hating Jewish Anthem". Includes the terrible line: I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, I can't be Merry, cuz I'm Hebrew"



Jon Stewart's unsuccessful attempt to sell Chanukka to reprobate Catholic Steven Colbert. Not his best showing, and not something that does much to make the Jews or their holidays look good. Remembering that Colbert and Stewart are professional satirists makes it a bit easier to swallow.



Another entry from South Park's Hall of Shame. (Damn, but Cartman is hysterical. His famous comeuppance here)



I'm sure the first Jewish genius to notice how easily My Sharona becomes a Chanukka Song likes this animated adaption.



This is horrible. Don't watch it. It depicts some slut's Chanukka hunt for the perfect Jewish man. Manichevitz wine is mentioned which alone is an immediate disqualification. The rolling on the bed of chanukka gelt @3:00 is also sort of gross.



According to my Brooklyn friends, this woman does not exist, and whatever Jewish pride she may exhibit in this video is fraudulent and unwanted. Also, her kids must not play with ours.



Jon Lovitz in the role that made him famous (not). This character made me puke in the late 80s. Twenty years late the vomit still rises.



I suppose I have to include that terrible song about the mythical dreidal made from clay. Seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger performing a self-conscious hora with a central-casting chabadnik and a uniform wearing vetran makes listening to it a little easier. [Boy, does the governator look uncomfortable. Sorry, but I can't help seeing a "My grandfather probably killed your grandfather" look on his chiseled Austrian face.]



And so long as we're showing embarrassing clips of state governors, how about Creationist Christian moron Rick Perry from Texas with some "please, please like me" Chabadniks. Sorry, but I can't help seeing a "Will you Jews go back to Israel so our savior will return" look on his flabby Pharisee-hating face.] PS I don't know (or like) the tune they use for Hanaros Halalu. (But I do like watching Perry cringe as they sing. haha!)



Chabad really is everywhere. Here they are forcing Hawaii's governor Linda Lingle to light one of their giant menorahs. [By the way, the claim that their diagonal menorot are closer to what was used in the Temple is bogus, and disproven by archeological evidence.



See the Satmar Rebbe light his menorah, followed by a quite good performance by the Satmar Boys Choir or whatever they're called. I really did like it (PS: Would you guess from the size of the menorah that Kiryas Joel is one of the poorest census tracs in the state?)



And here's the Nickleburg Rav performing the same ritual. Don't much like the song that follows his candle lighting though.



Not the best arrangement, but a very good performance of the little-known Hebrew version of the Yiddish classic.



The Belmonts, a 50s do-wop group, sings about the Chanukka.



The story of Chanukka as a cowboy ballad by Adam Dugas



The dumbest thing George Bush ever said, just happens to be about Chanukka.



Apparently some Hollywood stars really do spin the dreidal.



Some idiot Sesame Street reporter discovers Hanukka. A yawner, included in case you have kids or crush on Elmo.

The one that got away: A YouTube search has failed to produce Latkes in Herre by Smooth-E. Anyone?

The best Maoz Tzur: RebbeSoul's. Can't find that one either.

Sigh: Ok, here it is

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