Thursday, August 31, 2006

What Did I Do With Your Mom Last Night?

Answer: The Big Bang
by Cousin Oliver

Disclaimer: I am not a scientist. I found all of my information by zipping all over the internet. If something isn't factually correct (like if I got the year the toothbrush was invented wrong, which I didn't, because I didn't include it) I apologize now.

Let's take a journey. Come along with me as we travel from 2006 to the birth of time. Let's see what all this Big Bang theory and evolution hub-bub is really all about. It'll be fun and at the end, refreshments will be served.

Today is August 31, 2006. The world has trees, animals, and humans. Technology includes computers, cell phones, jet planes, nuclear energy and weapons, and everyone loves lasers. There are about 6 billion people walking around earth. Look around you if you want examples of what kind of progression we are up to. I see cloning and computers as small as cells.

37 Years Ago. July 21, 1969. Man walks on the moon. Compared to 2006, that isn't really a big deal. We have a freaking space station orbiting the planet now. Technology includes the invention of the bar-code scanner, the ATM, and the artificial heart.

171 Years Ago. 1835. A ton of stuff has happened between 1969 and 1835. From a technological standpoint- the mechanical calculator is invented and the wrench gets a patent. Seems like a LOT of progression from 1835 to 1969 and even more from 1969 to 2006. There are about 1 billion people roaming the planet now.

246 Years Ago. 1760. Ah, the Industrial Revolution. Steam power. Coal for fuel. Powered machinery! All metal machine tools start to appear. Europe is on the rise!

2005 Years Ago. Year 1. 150 Million people are alive. Five Billion Eight Hundred Fifty Million less then 2006. There are 40 times less people in the world then in 2006. It's the Roman Period. Rome is seriously not dealing well with its period. Headaches, cramps, and major bloating. Aqueducts are a big deal now. While Rome is the bill deal in the world, there are other humans sneaking around. In North America tribes are using duck decoys in Nevada. Cultures are walking around Central America defacing property with things like which is September 3, 32 BCE in old Mexico talk. Back over near Australia, trade routes are set up between New Guinea and Southeast Asia. In Central and North Asia you have the Parthian Empire and the Han Empire. Looks like a lot of the world is kind of primitive in technology. Those Romans seem to be leading that pack. Humans are scattered all over the word.

3005 Years Ago. 1000 BCE- Pottery is cool in North America. Ceramics and figurines are hot in Central America. The Iron Age is heading up in the Mid East. Bronze is cool but Iron Rules. Up Western and Central Europe cremation takes preference over burial. Maybe it had something to do with religion. The Jewish year is about 2,761.

4000 Years Ago. 2000 BCE. Jewish Year 1766. Egyptians are writing about military campaigns. Small tools and spear weights are appearing by North American people. Wood, Ivory and Bronze are used to make beds a little South of Egypt in the Sudan. Australia is depicting animals and humans showing their innards- its called X-Ray style. It is the writing on the wall. The patriarch Abraham is born almost 4000 years ago in 1813 BCE according to the bible. Other dating has him being born in 2166 BCE. Regardless, is it about 4000 years ago.

4150 Years ago. 2150 BCE. In Central America stone buildings are around. Lower Egyptians make distinctive pottery. Pottery and small ornaments can be found all over the world- Japan, Southeast Asia, North America. In the Eastern Mediterranean, for reasons not entirely clear but perhaps in part related to climatic changes cities are abandoned and the people become Sheppard's. The bible has this time period as Noah's Flood. It is a long way from the advancements of today, 2006. Some might even say primitive....

4837 Years Ago. 2831 BCE. Jewish Year 899. There is flourishing trade with the Egyptian kingdom. Wood, silver, smelly oils are going every which way. In North America we have bird decoys, baskets, feather work, and skin blankets. South Americans are trying to work out trades for coca leaves. Atlantic Europe and British Isles make distinctive shaped vessels. They are buried in tombs that seem to belong to warriors with greater mobility and stronger acquisitive impulse than their ancestors. Adam, from the bible died this year.

5767 Years Ago. 3760 BCE. Jewish Year 1. Farmers in Israel and Jordan begin cultivating olives and dates. Herders start to use milk. In Japan the people are using pits for storage. Scandinavians produce pottery, pointed bottom pots, fish traps, and yarns. There are people all over the world. The Torah says this is when Adam and Eve were born.

6,500 Years Ago. Two rice varieties are domesticated. One Asian, one African.

10,000 Years Ago. The last continental region, the tip of South America is inhabited by humans. Japan creates the world's earliest pottery. In the Mid East they are using clay and plaster to make statues. Humans are STILL all over the world. According to the Torah, humanity won't receive the Torah for another 7,000 years.

11,000 Years Ago. There are about 5 million people on earth. We say goodbye to the Woolly Mammoth. Jericho has a stone tower about 30 feet. Textiles are produced in Nahal Hemar of linen and blue-dyed fabric with beads and shells.

I think we are getting the point here about Humans being around for a long time. We aren't talking about millions of years of dating here, just a few thousand. Lets jump a little bit, shall we?

12,000 to 100,000 Years Ago. Homo floresiensis lived. They are like hobbits. They died out. A line of human evolution that didn't make it.

250,000 Years Ago. Homo sapiens- Humans as we know it appear. Neanderthals are also around- they didn't make it either. There is debate if Neanderthals were another line of human evolution or two separate species. The big thing for them were tools.

1,800,000 to 1,250,000 Years Ago. Homo Erectus Technological Achievement: Tools.

2,400,000 to 1,500,000 Years Ago. Homo Habilis.

Throughout the millions of years, different types of humans within the genus of Homo came and went and changed. Homo Sapien is the one that stayed and has continued for the last 250,000 years. Give us another million or two million years, who knows what we will become. Ok, enough with the homo talk. Moving on...

6,000,000 Years Ago. The last human associated with chimps exists.

65,000,0000 to 6,000,000 Years Ago. The animals left after an asteroid hit earth traveled along their evolutionary journey. Mostly Mammals and Birds continued on. Through Mutation, Migration, Genetic drift, and Natural selection Humans came about.

65,010,000 Years Ago. The earths conditions calm down to what the resemble today.

65,000,000 Years Ago. A big Asteroid hits earth. 50% of all species are wiped out. The Asteroid hits earth causing a massive reaction. The atmosphere fills with tons of dust blocking out the sun. Waves covered tremendous amounts of lands. Dinosaurs are gone.

180,000,000 Years Ago. Pangaea, a land mass of all of today's continents started to break apart.

200,000,000 Years Ago. A Mass extinction occurred. 20% of marine families got wiped out.

251,000,000 Years Ago. A Mass extinction occurred wiping out 96% of all marine species and 70% of terrestrial vertebrate. It lasted less then 1 million years. This is some heavy stuff. After this, fungal species were the primary keepers of Earth.

360,000,000 Years Ago. A mass extinction knocks out 70% of species.

444,000,000 Years Ago. 100 Marine families become extinct. Wingless insects are seen.

488,000,000 Years Ago. Mass extinction eliminated many brachiopods, conodonts, and severely reduced the number of trilobite species

Throughout the millions of years of mass extinctions, animals are changing, adapting and evolving.

505,000,000 Years Ago. The first fish.

600,000,000 Years Ago. Sponges and multicellular animals.

780,000,000 to 580,000,000 Years Ago. Ice Age that freezes over earth.

900,000,000 Years Ago. There are 18 hours a day and 481 days in the year. Earths rotation started slowing down. There where over 100 extra shopping days for Christmas and the work day was only from 11 to 3. choanoflagellates developed. They are the ancestors for the entire animal kingdom.

1,000,000,000 Years Ago. Ok. Now it is a BILLION years before 2006. It's going to be a very long time before I am able to blog any of this. Multicellular organisms appear: initially colonial algae, and later seaweeds, living in the oceans.

Let's jump again. We get the point. The earth and its little organisms went through puberty.

4,600,000,000 Years Ago. The planet Earth forms from the accretion disc revolving around the young Sun. Our solar system was formed from a Solar Nebula along with our Sun.

13,700,000,000 Years Ago. The universe is formed. The Big Bang theory is that we suggest that the Universe is always expanding based on Hubble's Law. Hubble saw light red-shifting which suggests the universe is currently expanding. The entire universe is moving uniformly- things farther away are moving away faster- showing the expanding universe. The universe is expanding from an origin. A hot dense origin. This thing exploded and since then the universe is expanding. Not only was the universe created at this point, but time was as well.

Beyond 13,700,000,000 Years Ago there was nothing. I am not a scientist. I have trouble wrapping my head around that idea that the universe is infinite, but I accept it. I also accept it when they tell me that before the big bang there was nothing. But, if you don't- check out this article by Paul Davies entitled, What Happened Before the Big Bang?

And this is where our little tour ends. Thank you for not throwing your beverages at the screen and please take your trash with you when leaving. Adios.

Some super duper issues I want to point out:
-People who are ignorant about his topic tend to brush it aside with the words: "Science is always changing. Come on, what do they know". I ask those people to please, open a book.
-The earth was inhabited by millions of people when the bible said Adam was "born".
-It is possible that during the time the Torah says Noah's existed there was a climate issue or flood in that region.
-The earth went through a lot of Sh*t that has nothing to do with trying to prove or disprove God. Science seeks truth, not disprove God.
-On Friday, April 13, 2029 an asteroid will come extremely close to earth. It was thought that it would hit us, but later research dictates it will miss us.
-The above asteroid is scheduled to make another close call again on Friday April 13, 2035
-To the people who say carbon dating is flawed so you can't be certain of history millions of years ago. I don't need to, just 6 thousand. If millions of people and all of their crap is found before God said Adam was "born", you got an issue with the Torah literally buddy.
-To all the people who say God created this world as is, ready to go- That means he created it with millions of live humans. It's good to know that God made the first man, Adam, some poker buddies.
-Humans are evolving as we speak. We are smarter now then we were two thousand years ago when the Talmud was written (not that we have the same access to material they did 2000 years ago).
-Microsoft Word doesn't like the word "Multicellular" and wants to spell-check it to "Multicultural"
-Quantum Physics is the most freaking cool thing in the world. "Mostly, quantum events occur at the atomic level; we don't experience them in daily life. On the scale of atoms and molecules, the usual commonsense rules of cause and effect are suspended. The rule of law is replaced by a sort of anarchy or chaos, and things happen spontaneously-for no particular reason. Particles of matter may simply pop into existence without warning, and then equally abruptly disappear again. Or a particle in one place may suddenly materialize in another place, or reverse its direction of motion. Again, these are real effects occurring on an atomic scale, and they can be demonstrated experimentally."

[related also]

No comments: