Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Re: Mishloach Manot

Are you a lunatic, or a lazy bones?

A lunatic has her Mishloach Manot theme worked out weeks in advance, and coordinates it with the family costumes. These people are sick in the head. Some of the lunatics running around my neighborhood this year included:

  • The Indians The whole family wore headdresses, and Indian outfits. The Mishloach Manot were connected to Thanksgiving and distributed in a plastic pumpkin.
  • The Japanese They dressed in kimonos and handed out rice crispy sushi.
  • Peter Pan Dad dressed as Peter, Mom was Wendy and the kids were all Lost Boys. Their baskets were shaped like treasure chests and contained chocolate coins, candy necklaces, and goldfish crackers.
  • English tea time: A collection of homemade cookies, in a tea cup, brought around by kids who were dressed like butlers.

The problem with being a lunatic (aside from the fact that everyone thinks you are a lunatic) is that being a lunatic takes a hell of a lot of work; also you spend the day in a state of near panic, terrified that you haven't prepared a sufficient number of theme baskets. When you're a lunatic, there's nothing worse than running out of elaborately decorated rice-crispy sushi when unexpected gift bearers are still knocking at your door.

At the other end of the spectrum are the lazy bones. A lazy bones buys a huge assortment of colored bags at Amazing Savings, and fills them with an uncoordinated mass of junk food. One of my local lazy bone put her uncoordinated bags and boxes on her front porch beneath a sign reading "Take One." When a lazy bones runs out of baskets, she makes more by cannibalizing the gifts she's already received. I admire this; and except for the fact that the lunatics will look down their noses at you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lazy bones.

Update: Chana has a solution