Friday, November 11, 2005

Forward Fifty (YAWN)

Krum tells us that the newspaper about Jews which we never read (ie: The Forward) has once again published it's survey of the fifty best darn Jews in the whole wide world. Joy.

Blessedly, Madonna didn't make the list this year, but to our shock and dismay, neither did we. Or Ruth Bader Ginsburg, for that matter, which is too bad because Ruth, who may not write sharp and biting commentary about New Square, is a wonderful blogger all the same.




In honor of Amshi, who says he loves the reposting, we are pleased to serve up, verbatum, the sharp and biting commentary I produced one year ago in honor of the 2004 Forward Fifty:

Which doesn't belong and why: Phillip Roth, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or Madonna?

Well, Ruth Bader is the least femminine of the three, and Phillip Roth, my sources say, hasn't much of a singing voice, but no that's not it... keep thinking... Which doesn't belong and why... give up? Ha ha! It is a trick question! All three "belong" --or at least that's the view from the Forward, the less-and-less-influential-with-each-passing-moment Jewish weekly. All three of these celebs, you see, are new inductees to the Forward 50 a list that recognizes the 50 people deemed the year's most influential leaders of the American Jewish community.

The word from Punjab (Why Punjab? We don't know. Perhaps Madge is sampling Hindi?) is Madonna is pissed. Her spokeslacky has been dispatched to aver, "Madonna is not Jewish."

Over at the Forward, JJ Goldberg does not agree. He'll sell more papers if Madonna is on the list so to hell and beyond with matrilineal descent. Furthermore, argues JJ, "She's a practitioner of the Kabbalah, so she's practicing Judaism for Christ's sake! Well, not really for Christ's sake, but she's probably the world's best known practitioner of Judaism right now." Hey! What about Shmuley Boteach?