Thursday, October 06, 2005

Seasonal pet peeves

in no particular order

1 - Kids who carry overstuffed loot bags through the sanctuary. In the history of the human race no child has ever starved to death while waiting for lunch on Rosh Hashana.

2 - People who don't stand when the Ark is open. They'll excuse themsleves saying that standing for an open Ark (technically) isn't demanded by the law, but it looks lazy if you're sitting while the rest of the room is on its feet.

3 - The Rosh Hashana Recess. Taking a refreshment break before musaf on Rosh Hashana is absurd. Those in favor of it argue that it's needed "because we're finishing at 3:30." Yes, but if it weren't for the one-hour break, you'd be done at 2:30! Also, refreshments (other than something very, very light) are not allowed before shofar blowing.

4 - The naughty old men who think it is so hysterical to joke about "blowing the chauffer." The next one who does that in my presence gets crucified without nails.

5 - People who study Talmud during davening. The Mishna Brurah doesn't like it, and neither do I. If you're learning, while we're singing I judge you a show-off and a spoil-sport.

6 - The auction. For the love of God, it's one of the holiest days of the year. Must we conduct business from the pulpit right in the middle of the sancturary? Are a few hundred dollars really more important that the dignity of the day and the sanctity of the place?