Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Book IIX

The end is finally in sight
The Book of Esther
Perak Chet

With Haman dead, Mudcha aquired Haman’s old house, his position in the government, and his Official Tiger Woods set of golf clubs.

Mudcha was quite pleased, but there was still that whole genocide thing hanging over their heads. So, Ester got down on her hands and knees and went to work on Ach pleading for him to retract the old law barring the Jews from buying SUVs. Yeah, and also the genocide thing.

The king, who was drunk again, said that, he was very sorry, but a law could not be retracted once made, which makes no sense when you consider that the king had absolute power. ("A miracle," Rashi says. "I'm begging you to shut up," Rashbam says.)

Besides, Ach had made plans to hang out on the balcony in a beach chair with a brewsky in the coming month of Adar to watch some serious slaughtering.

So he said "You know what? Let the Jews kill people, too. It doesn't really matter to me who does the slaughtering so long as I have a front row seat."

Ach, you see was a wise and generous king.

So, Ester and Mudcha wrote the king's compromise into law and everyone was happy and joyous and full of mirth and celebration.

Except the people who got killed. But, as non-Jews, they don't count.

to be continued...