Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Comparative Religion is So Fun!

Today, boys and girls, we will discuss what an absurd religion Islam is.
Here is a recent question submitted to "Ask the Imam". According to Allah's bookkeepers, tampering with a birth control device during Ramadan will nullify one's fast.

From the She'elot & Teshuvot of the esteemed Mufti Muhammed Zakariyaa Desai:
Q: I have a question.......can you keep roza (also known as Eid ul-Fitr, which is celebrated at the end of Ramadan - editor) with the ring in vagina. There are vaginal rings for contraception which is left in vagina for 3 weeks and taken out for one week and then repeated again.

A: According to Shariah if the rings are kept in the private part while fasting, the fast is valid. However, if the ring is inserted or removed while fasting, the fast will be nullified. Therefore, it must be inserted or removed after Iftaar or before the expiry of sehri time. (Nurul Iddah Pg. 146)

And Allah Knows Best

Muhammed Zakariyya Desai
For Darul Ifta


I can hear your haughty laughter now, full of contempt for this crazy religion, with its endless obsession with these obviously man-made and nonsensical rules and regs.
But, boys and girls, wait just a minute. Rabbinic Judaism would not want you to feel deprived of opportunities to serve Hashem with our very own version of halakhic minutia. According to Hashem's bookkeepers, the Almighty has devised plenty of interesting rules of conduct to keep our minds and bodies occupied, too. Here's one from Yoetzet:

Q: Hi, Thank you for this great site!! When I am a niddah am I allowed to touch the chair of my husband (while not touching him. e.g. place my hand on the back of his chair) while he is sitting or touch his bed while he is on it (if I were to touch his bed while walking past it due to lack of space)?

A: Placing your hand on the back of your husband's seat (or his on yours) when you are in niddah is not expressly prohibited. However, a husband and wife are only supposed to eat together at the same table if there is some heker (sign recognizable to them) that she is in niddah. The concern is that eating in close quarters with one's spouse is an act of intimacy. Deliberately touching the back of a spouse's chair can be a comparable act of intimacy and physical closeness, especially if the movement of the hand or its effects can be felt, even indirectly, by the spouse in the chair.

For either a chair or a bed, incidental, unintentional touch, such as squeezing by the bed or chair or grasping at either for balance, would be permitted.

And Allah Knows Best (Okay, I'll admit it - the last 4 words were added for a bit of fun).

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