Monday, October 29, 2007

Song of the DoveHawk

The LAST guest post by The Bray of Fundie (thank god)

The emblem of the IDF is a sword wrapped in olive branches. Most would consider this an Orwellian mixed metaphor along the lines of a "Peacekeeper Missile" or a "Defense Department". But I quite understand it. To me it says: "we only wage the minimum war required to keep the peace" and/or "we can extend olive branches to those deserving of peace but will wage war against those deserving of battle".

As an overfed Diaspora dwelling quasi-Haredi I make no pretensions to the bravery and self-sacrifice of the soldiers of the IDF. Yet in the spirit of their emblem I offer the translation of a Midrash. I hope that it will pacify those who misconstrued some of my recent posts to mean that I deny the concept of conversion to Judaism, or, that I disrespect gerei tzedek, and that will give offense, or at least pause, to the various skeptics haunting this blog who incessantly heap scorn on our Holy Torah and on our holy brethren.

Akilus (Achilles?) the son of the sister of Adrayonus (Caesar Hadrian ?) wanted to convert to Judaism but feared his Uncle Adrayonus:

Akilus: I want to engage in business
Adrayonus: Do you want for gold and silver? My riches are all available to you.
Akilus: I want to do business and travel abroad among people to better understand them and I seek your advice on how best to proceed.
Adrayonus: Do business with any commodity that you see is lowly and devalued to the floor. Ultimately it will rise and you will profit (oif momma loshon "buy low sell high"-translator)

Akilus came to Eretz Yisrael and studied Torah. After a while Rebee Eliezer and Rebee Yehoshua met him and noticed a change in his countenance. They said to one another "Akilus is studying Torah." Being in the Rabbis' proximity he posed many questions to them, which they responded to.

He went up to his Uncle Adrayonus.

Adrayonus: Why has your countenance changed? Did you suffer a business reversal and lose your investments? Is someone abusing you?
Akilus: Of course not! I am YOUR nephew. Do you think that anyone would dare bother me?
Adrayonus: Then why HAS your countenance changed?
Akilus: I have studied Torah, Moreover I have circumcised myself
Adrayonus: WHO told you to do this?
Akilus: I sought your advice and…. YOU did.
Adrayonus: WHEN????
Akilus: When I told you that I want to do business you told me: "Do business with any commodity that you see is lowly and devalued to the floor. Ultimately it will rise and you will profit." I assessed all the nations of the world and I saw none more devalued than Yisrael(AKA Jews translator). It [too] will ultimately rise. As the Prophet Isaiah 49:7 foresaw: "So saith the L-rd redeemer of Israel his holy one 'To the [nation] whose soul is humiliated , to the one despised by nations, to the one that is [presently] a slave to many rulers: Kings will yet see YOU and arise, princes.. will yet prostrate themselves to

---Midrash Tankhuma- Mishpatim

It is done (Bray's head slumps inert on his chest)

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