...I see morons everywhere.
Yesterday, I introduced a new acronym, BHM (black-hat-moron) to the DovBear lexicon (joining GOPJew and KefiyaTalis as phrases invented here.)
But what exactly is a BHM? See below (and for the sake of comparison and fairness, I've also defined MOM (modern-orthodox-moron))
Yesterday, I introduced a new acronym, BHM (black-hat-moron) to the DovBear lexicon (joining GOPJew and KefiyaTalis as phrases invented here.)
But what exactly is a BHM? See below (and for the sake of comparison and fairness, I've also defined MOM (modern-orthodox-moron))
| BHM | MOM | |
| Michaper Kol Averot (forgives all sins) | His hat | His Zionism |
| At kiddush, will knock you over to get: | Kugel (burnt and greasy, please) | Sushi |
| Cause of all suffering in the universe: | Short hemlines / The New York Times | Muslim Arabs / The New York Times |
| Nightmare of nightmares | An unmarried 19-year old daughter | A meshulach at the door |
| Dream of dreams | A 5000 sq foot house, with a Lexus sedan in the drive and jealous neighbors next door | A 5000 sq foot house, with a Lexus SUV in the drive and jealous neighbors next door |
| Sin that's not really a sin | Tax fraud, bigotry, cheating at business. | Mixed swimming, fish at non-kosher resteraunts. |
| Favorite mitzvah | Sitting in a bes medrash, drinking coffee, and "learning" | Voting Republican |
| How he makes decisions: | Decisions? Huh? I just ask my Rav. | Is is good for Israel? |
| How he learns chumash: | Rashi is always right! (Unless the Little Midrash Says disagrees, in which case teku.) | Scours texts to develop apocalyptic scenarios involving crystals and space aliens, all having zero basis in legitimate commentary |
| How he learns gemarah: | Chazal are always right! (Only modernishke herr doktor scholars look at Rishonim) | Gema-what? |
| Favorite holiday: | Lag B'omer | Yom Ha'atzmaut |
| Ditches his wife, family and all household responsibilities to: | Sit in a bes medrash, drink coffee, and "learn" | Play poker and/or attend sporting events |
| Has a child named after: | Fauna (ie: Dov, Tzvi, Ze'ev) | Flora (ie: Ilan, Tomar, Daphne) |
| Favorite blog: | Yeshiva World | DovBear |
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