Thursday, December 02, 2004

I GUESS: GILUY AROYOT

The Hasid who says he is a heretic, yet continues to call himself Shtreimal, dares us to guess which of the big three sins he's committed.

This is too easy: Shtrimy doesn't believe in higher powers, so idolatry is out. And murder seems unlikely, especially for a soft-spoken and willowy Hasid.

This leaves us with adultery, or giluy aroyos, but adultery comes in many forms. What specifically was Shtreimy's sin?

Though adultery includes voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse, Jewish law says other acts of immorality can fall under the adultery rubric. If Shtriemy committed adultery, it may mean he betrayed his wife with a hot hasidic hussie, or it might simply mean that he has a porn collection.

I'm rooting for porn collection, and not least because the porn collection would be a sin against god alone, and not against his wife and children, too. I'm sure the Rabbis would agree if the mistress was married and Jewish, but what would they say if Shtreimal had a non-Jew on the side? A non-Jewish mistress, I recall, is permited under the letter of Jewish law.

I'd like confirmation from a Rabbi. If you have smicha (real smicha, not the kind that comes in cracker-jack boxes) please answer this question:

What gives greater offense to God? A porn collection, or betraying your wife with a non-Jewish mistress?

24 comments:

Shtreimel said...

maybe I worshiped Avodah Zaroh, just to spite god (you don't need Kavanah, it's enough that you worship that god the way one would normally worship it.); maybe I just "cheped" someone and it's like killing (Ke'ilu shofech dom) there are a lot of options here, don't jump to conclusions.

Porn is not gilu arayot, and having sex with a Shiksa isn’t gili arayot either. Only a married woman, incest or homosexuality would qualify.

DovBear said...

You don't believe in god. What does it mean to "spite" a god you don't accept? No, idolatry is out. Also, I don't agree that there are shortcuts to murder. If the man's heart is beating, you have not killed him.

But I will accept your definition of adultery. I prefer to believe that you would not hurt your family, so ordinary adultery with a married Jew is out. Incest is gross. But homosexuality is not - especially in some Williamsbug yeshivot, if my information is correct.

So, is that it?

Anonymous said...

That is a great guess! I bet you are right. Dorm sex in Williamsburg. Yum, yum.

Anshel's Wife said...

Maybe he just went to the movies, but thought it would be fun for you to think otherwise.

DovBear said...

Surely you must know that makes no sense.
He said he committed one of the three. Going to the movies hardly qualifies.

Pamello said...

I'd venture the sin was wearing or allowing his wife to wear an Indian hair sheitel.

:-P.

Anshel's Wife said...

Maybe he's pulling your chain altogether.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he has a big black gay lover.
That's my official guess, dovbear.

DovBear said...

Anony, Ok, we will keep that in mind.

Yetta, I think Shtreimy is being straight with us. Unless, he's lied about everything else.

WV910 said...

I think Shtreimel is being straight with us.

What I want to know is, is it adultery if you nail a *married* shiksa?

I don't see how having sex with a gentile woman somehow makes it NOT adultery. If those really are the rules, then what is to stop every Hassidic man in the world from procuring a gentile girlfriend?

And I suppose their wives are supposed to just put up with it. No wonder Jesus caused such a controversy when he refused to stone the adulterous woman.

DovBear said...

:;what is to stop every Hassidic man in the world from procuring a gentile girlfriend?
::

Dude, have you ever seen a Hassidic man?

WV910 said...

I live in West Virginia, Bear. We have a few Jews, but no Hassids.

But yes, I've seen Hassidic men before. Women are much less caught up in appearances than men are, so the idea of a Hassidic man having a piece on the side isn't unbelievable to me. If he's got money, there's always a woman who will be willing to put out. Sex for financial support is the oldest tradeoff in the world, and you don't have to be a hooker to do it. I daresay this is the arrangement in most marriages today, Jewish or gentile.

Anonymous said...

The same belief in G-d and his Torah that governs the life of a Chassidic Jew doesn't allow him to have a non-Jewish partner.

DovBear said...

You are a cynic, West Virginia Man. I like that.

As for Anon's comment, you, sir, do not understand Jewish law.

nichtglieber said...

fucking a maried shikse is not gilu arayos, ain kedishin chal al achim, the only problem is haboal aramis kanaeim pogeim bo

DovBear said...

What the F, you don't really sound like a Rabbi, but your input is appreciated all the same.

WV910 said...

Cynical, yes, and also a West Virginia, DovBear.

But I possess not one but two X chromosomes :)

DovBear said...

Well West Virginia lady we like you all the same.

Anonymous said...

One of the three sins can be;
1. Shefichas Domim: Embarassing somebody, there are rishonim (tosofos, rabbeinu yonah and others), who write that this aveirah is included in shefichas domim.
2. Giluy Arayos: Relations with a niddah, relations with any woman (lo sihe kodesh), yichud (according to some rishonim), touching niddah or any of arayos with intent to benefit with niddah (lo sikruvu - d'oraisah).

WV910 said...

"Well West Virginia lady we like you all the same."

Having read some of your recent entries, you might want to rethink that statement.

DovBear said...

Care to explain?

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