Friday, June 04, 2010

The Shidduch System Is Far From Perfect


Last week I attended a vort (engagement party) for a new young couple. The young couple are both from very yeshivish families that date exclusively by the Shidduch process. However with the agreement of both families along with the kallah’s Rabbi, they decided to date for strictly social reasons.

Let me tell the story (with a few changes to protect their anonymity.) The boy had been trying to meet a nice girl to marry only through shadchanim (matchmakers) but was unable to meet anyone without specific physical problems. Because he is deaf, he was only being introduced to diabetics, blind girls, or girls with other serious problems. He was getting depressed and was losing hope of ever meeting a ‘normal’ girl. A friend of the family approached a healthy fine girl from a wonderful family and made a strange request. Would she be willing to date him to cheer him up? Of course it wouldn’t be for marriage purposes since they were obviously not suited for one another. She and her parents approached the family Rabbi who surprisingly agreed. The date was set and they went out. The shadchan called her after the date to thank her for her kind deed. Much to the shadchan’s surprise she wanted to go out again since he was such a special guy.

They were the couple whose vort I attended last week.

Is there a lesson here?

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