Thursday, June 05, 2008

Breaking: Moshiach ben Dovid Banned!

News Flash: Davidic Dynasty Retroactively Invalidated

In a historic ruling of mammoth proportions, the Supreme Rabbinical Beit Din (Beit Hadin Harabbani Hagadol) in Jerusalem has retroactively disqualified the conversion of Ruth, Great Grandmother of King David. The Bet Din released the following statement:

"Ruth the Moabite did not go to the mikva. She did not accept upon herself all 613 mitzvot and the accompanying chumrot of the high court. She behaved in a licentious manner with a local farmer named Boaz, and was known to walk around the fields with various body parts uncovered, including her hair.

Also, she is unable to produce any documentation from the Rabbis who converted her; anyway, the Rabbis operating in Moab where she claims to have converted are all modern, and therefore unrealible. Because of this we rule that Ruth is not Jewish, and her lineage is retroactively disqualified."

Background and more here.
A smug cheer from CrossCurrents here.

No comments: