Sunday, January 23, 2005


Ayelet, the bad mother has been fantasizing about presidential administrations. In rotissere politics, the game she invented, the idea is to name the people you'd like to see installed instead of the jerks who started their new terms on Thursday. Much as I like Ayelet, and her game, the team she chose is a little too left for me. So here's mine:

President: John McCain. He is a war hero, a centrist, a solid legislator, an opponent of the Christian right, a denouncer of big-money politics and he's been slimed by Karl Rove & GWB, so we wouldn't have to worry about his bringing along any of the bad Republicans into power.

Vice President: Joe Leiberman. Unfairly denied in 2000, and right-wing Judaism could always use a few more bogeymen.

Secretary of State: Colin Powel. I still admire the man, and in some perverse way, I like him even after the casteration he endured serving Bush. He deserves the chane to show us what he can do working for an honest boss, and for one who believes in diplomacy. If Colin turns me down, I'd take Bill Clinton. Let old Bill close the deal in the middle east, now that Arafat isn't around obstructing.

Secretary of the Treasury: I don't think it matters. Let me do it. You won't notice any difference.

Secretary of Defense: Wes Clark

Attorney General: Eliot Spitzer. Tough as nails. Always on the side of the angels. And a New Yorker

Secretary of the Interior: Al Gore. See: Earth in the Balance And if you havn't read it, kindly shut up.

Secretary of Agriculture: Another one that doesn't matter. I could take care of Treasury on Mondays, sign off on farm subsidies on Tuesday, and still have plenty of time to blog.

Secretary of Commerce: George Soros

Secretary of Labor: Al Gore would be a good choice, but I want him in Interior. The guy I want for this post isn't impressed with big business, and, though he enjoys sticking it to fat cats, isn't some suicidal socialist either. Can you think of anyone?

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John Kerry

Department of Homeland Security: Obliterate it. This department is a waste of time, and a waste of money that exists only to scream "orange alert! orange alert!" whenever Bush needs a boost in the polls.

National Security Adviser: Tommy Franks

Chief of Staff: Rudy Gulianni. The boy can get things done, and if he isn't setting policy or given executive power there isn't anything to fear. And he's a New Yorker.

Ambassador to the UN: Dennis Ross

White House Counsel: Jack McCoy from Law and Order.

Director of Central Intelligence: Any of the Men in Black

Secretary of H.U.D.:
Secretary of Transportation:
Secretary of Education:
Secretary of Energy:
Secretary of H.H.S.:
Office of Management and Budget:
Drug Czar:
U.S. Trade Representative: