A real threat to Yiddishkeit . . .

A guest post by TikunOlam

With all the “threats to Yiddishkeit” discussions going on – I needed to say a thing or two, in all seriousness about a real threat. I haven’t been able to let go of the Kolko sentence. The fact that he will be “enrolled in counseling,” as though that this will somehow result in Kolko becoming less of a threat to children is a dangerous notion. I have been reading many of the comments on many of the blogs out there. Some of them downright frighten me. Please, don’t put your head in the sand on this one. Educate you family, educate you friends.

Attempting to change the sexual proclivity of a pedophile is akin to attempting to change a heterosexual person into a homosexual one or a homosexual into a heterosexual. Anyone with any education in the mental health field knows that attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation has been tried by many and failed by all. All the legitimate research shows this. All of it.

Treatment for pedophilia most commonly entails participating in psychotherapy – most often group therapy. Therapy targeting pedophiles looks similar to therapy for alcoholics and drug addicts. It assumes that while patients may develop improved impulse control over their addictions, the vulnerability will always be there. They are never “cured.”

Other methods of treatment have been tried. Chemical castration is one. While castration can reduce the sexual appetite of pedophiles, it does not change the person’s personality or sexual orientation. Castrated pedophiles still abuse children. Aversion therapy where patients are systematically “reprogrammed” to associate sexual interaction with children with aversive stimuli has been found to be ineffective as well.

Prison time does not work to change pedophilic behavior either. In fact, this is the reason civil commitments are often sought after pedophiles complete their prison terms. Once a pedophile is found to meet criteria for civil commitment they almost always stay at the treatment centers indefinitely. Why? Once they are committed through this process, their release into the community is dependent on a treatment team’s conclusion that the patient is no longer a threat to children. And this simply does not happen. Clinicians are not willing to sign off on their releases because they know that pedophiles do not change.

So how do we protect our children?

Talk to them. Educate them. Teach your preschool children about private parts and good and bad touching. Remind your elementary age children. Make sure they know that they should always come to you if someone touches them in a “bad way.” Tell them that they should do this no matter what the adult told them. Tell them that it would never make you angry. Tell them that it doesn’t matter if it is their uncle, their best friend’s mom, their teacher or their rabbi. Let them know that “bad guys” look just like "good guys" so they should never go with an adult without your prior approval. Get to know all the adults in your child’s life. Make sure they are always supervised. When they play at the park, make sure they stay in groups. And maybe most importantly, educate yourself about indicators that signify that your child may be in trouble. If there is an interest, I’d be happy to write another post on those indicators though they are easily found on the internet with a simple search.