Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Election Round-Up

THE KISS OF DEATH: Randy Kelly, a democrat, was defeated in the race for Mayor of St. Paul, Minnesota, by Chris Coleman, also a Democrat. The reason? Kelly endorsed George W. in 2004. Oops!

BUT THOSE OBNOXIOUS HATS ARE STILL LEGAL? Texas approved a ban on same-sex marriages. Supporters are crowing that this new measure will do much preserve the sanctity of marriage in Texas, a place where the divorce rate hovers at 4.1 per 1000 population. (In Massachusetts, where same sex marriage is legal, the divorce rate is 2.4, proving once again that Texans are idiots) (Sorry Mirty. You should move. You're much too smart for that state.)

PRESERVE RAMAPO LOSES In Rockland county, the Jews who want cheap, ugly, multiple-family housing defeated the "virulent anti-Semites" who value neatly-manicured, one-acre lots, and think the streets are crowded enough already, thank you very much. In the words of one Ramapo official, who I made up, "This proves once again that Jews are always right, and that if you disagree it means you're an anti-Semite."

ARNOLD DENIED! "California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger lost his gamble to go over the heads of lawmakers as voters rejected every measure he offered to change the political, fiscal and educational policy of the most-populous U.S. state." Does this mean I don't have to see any more of those stupid "Don't Be A Girlie-Man: Vote Republican" bumper stickers?