FIRST PUBLISHED NOVEMBER 30 2004
Wow, is he naive.
And anyway, this isn't a question for a posek. It's a question for the parent body, and I'm all but certain the parents were not consulted. Instead, the school's adminstration probably had a meeting like this....
Rabbi CYA, the principle
Smedly, his lacky
Smedly, his other lacky
CYA: Ok, Smedlies. Time for me to decide. Are we closing for Thanksgiving this year?
Smedlies: We can't close!
CYA: Why not?
Smedlies: Because people will talk!
CYA: Oh my... Talking? No, no, no, we certainly can't let people talk. They may say things. About the school. Or me. Or something. So that settles it. We'll stay open on Thanksgiving.
Smedlies: We can't stay open!
CYA: Why not?
Smedlies: Because the English teachers will want extra money if we make them work on a holiday.
CYA: Well, that's nerve. (aside) It's not like we pay them fairly, or on time anyway. Thanksgiving should be different? (cackles derisivly) No extra money for teachers. They'll only spend it. Ok, my mind is made up: we're closing.
CYA: Right, almost forgot: If we close, people will talk. Um...tell me: what will they say?
Smedly 1: That we're not heimish!
Smedly 2: That we're modern!
Smedly 1: That we don't take religion seriously!
Semdly 2: That we approve of College!
Smedly 1: That we approve of intermarrige!
Smedly 2: That we serve pork in the cafeteria!
CYA: Are you serious?
CYA: Well, that's rediculous. We hire the best rabonim, I mean rabayim. (See: We're so heimish we don't even say rabonim!) We require the boys to wear black and white, even at night, on weekends, during the summer, in the privacy of their own homes. We don't let girls into the building. We serve cholent and kugel for breakfast, and we haven't sent a boy to college in 20 years!! Why would anyone doubt us or besmirch our reputation if we did the sensible, convinient thing and closed on Thursday?
Smeldies: Because people are stupid!!
CYA: Good point. Ok, so we compromise. Half day on Thursday. If you need me, I'll be at the parade.
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