Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Special Offer for Tiferes Yisroel Parents!

A certain "Rabbi Wiener" saw the announcement from Yeshiva Tiferes Yisroel about their new Internet policy, and is making the following service available to DovBear readers with children in the school.
For a fee of only $1.99 a month, I will act as your Web Chaver and maintain in strict confidence and not divulge to your wife or others the adult Web sites you visit. For an additional $1.99, I will provide you with a monthly list of recommended hot Web sites for your viewing pleasure.
Discounts avaliable to Kollel and Hanhola families as well high volume users.
In conjunction with Yeshiva Tiferes Yisroel, I will soon be offering the following additional services:
-- Supervised "Key" Parties (limited to Marine Park residents)
-- Web cam bedroom monitoring
-- Acting as your wife's mikveh 'lady'
-- Massage Therapy
Finally, be sure to look out for our upcoming publication "Rabinically Sanctioned Sexual Positions." (Available only in Hard Cover).
Please contact the Rabbi directly for registration information.

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