Ok, fine. I'll acknowledge it. Moron senator, whoops, sorry, I mean Mormon senator Orrin Hatch has written a song about Chanukah. It really and truly sucks, like almost nothing has ever sucked before, except perhaps Heal our Land, the overtly awful abomination Hatch composed for the Bush inaugural.
Warning: Your ears will bleed.
Eight Days of Hanukkah from Tablet Magazine on Vimeo.
In other news, poor Alana Newhouse, editor of the Tablet, has what appears to be a life so boring it induces comas; also, she is resoundingly pessimistic about its chances of improving. Here is what she told the Times about the senator's visit to her magazine. “Watching Orrin Hatch in the studio, I said to myself that nothing this great will ever happen to me again." [A picture of Alana. You'd guess her life was more interesting, no?]
Anyway, I think we Jews owe it to Senator Hatch to reciprocate with a song about Mormonism. Sample lyrics:
Hey Orrin, your fake hip-hop song sucks / If you want to fool us into thinking you care about Jews, why don't you ask your church to stop baptizing Holocaust victims
Needs some work, I agree.
