Pass the Oxygen

Remember this infamous article by Rabbi Meyer Lubin in the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists' journal? Well, the latest issue of the journal has letters in reply, and Rabbi Lubin's reply to them.

In the letters, the respondents point out that Rabbi Lubin clearly doesn't have a frickin' clue about what evolution actually is--often confusing it with Lamarckism--and that he mangled just about everything he attacked, making a fool out of himself and the organization. Zev Stern, PhD asked, "Would [Rabbi Lubin] please cite one reference in the scientific literature that claims, as he asserts evolutionary biologists do, that humans evolved from sardines or mice?" Rabbi Lubin's reply to this? "Oh yes, even without the 'please' I am glad to." He continues [emphasis mine]:

[Dr. Douglas Futuyma] showed the author an item which stated, “The mouse genome effort, according to Nature’s editors, had revealed “about 30,000 genes, with 99% having direct counterparts in humans. Futuyma explained that this resemblance…gives meaning to biomedical research using mice and other animals, including chimpanzees, which (to their sad misfortune) are our closest living relatives.” Of course, Dr. Stern may assert that these two citations do not state that humans are descended from mice, but only that we have a common ancestry. When years ago evolutionists were accused of claiming that humans were descended from chimpanzees, they replied, “Darwin forbid, they only had a common ancestor…” Will Dr. Stern now maintain that humans and mice have a common ancestor?

The sardine ancestry is found in biology textbooks, among them Amsco’s Biology Review Book, where there is a direct arrow from fish vertebrates to humans. Perhaps here too evolutionary biologists will claim fish and humans have a common ancestor? [...] And perhaps only we common humans are related to sardines, but Bill Gates is related to goldfish?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAAAAAA!!!!!

I'm convinced these things are actually a grand conspiracy to kill all the kofrim by getting us to laugh so hard we asphyxiate. If so, it's a full-frontal assault, with the latest Jewish Observer, the Kornreich's column in the Yated, and now this. I mean, how else can you explain it?!