Bush declares Katrina prayer day
Of course NYC didn't get anything for September, 11th, 2001, aside from "keep shopping" day, but I digress. Here, courtesy of whitehouse.gov, is an advance copy of the president's heartfelt prayer to God to unify America following his mega-competant amministration's teeny-tiny New Orleans oopsie:
Dear God. I want you to know, that per my election strategy, I will pass up no opportunity to been seen looking to you for guidance and/or forgiveness, [but] before you send me a yakking burning bush... I'd like to fulfill the very minimum that's required of a fair-weather Christian: Please forgive me my itty-bitty transgressions, such as being partially mortal. I assure you that I am majorly penitent.And let us say, amen.
Also, please forgive the local and state authorities on the Gulf Coast, especially Mayor Freak-Out and Governor Wet Blanko, for totally dropping the ball and allowing this PR disaster to occur. Give them the wisdom to realize they prevented Tom Ridge Jr. and Brownie from doing the tremendous, magnificent, awesome, utterly competent job they told everyone they were doing. And please bestow this wisdom before the next press conference.
And forgive all the dead. Maybe if they had embraced compassionate conservatism, they would have worked harder, pulling themselves up by their basketball shoelaces by holding down three or four low paying jobs, and then wouldn't have been so poor and helpless and wrong-colored. Why didn't anyone at the local country club teach these people how to swim in the first place?