Tuesday, October 26, 2004

HOW ARE THE J-BLOGGERS VOTING?

  • ChayyeiSarah is a Kerry girl. She's made that clear. Who says urban North-Eastern woman aren't predictable?


  • Velvel is voting for Bush, but only because Atilla the Hun isn't on the ballot in Illinois. Anyway, his wife seems like a Kerry girl, too, so the Goldberg family cancels itself out.


  • Hamlet, I mean baynonim, still can't decide. The smart money says he sleeps through election day.


  • Luke Ford likes the conservatives. This is because he is a hack. FrumDad likes the liberals. This is because he is a psudeo-intellectual.


  • And DovBear? Well, this Dave Barry riff sums up Your Favorite Blogger's (TM) opinion of the sacred process:

    ... political TV ad present the issues with a degree of honesty, nuance and sophistication rarely seen outside of Veg-O-Matic commercials:

    (On the screen, we see the CANDIDATE. Next to his face is the word ''LEADERSHIP.'') ANNOUNCER: Leadership. It isn't just a word. It's a word that tested really well in our focus groups. And it's a word we want you to think about when you think about the Candidate. Also, ``low-carb.''

    (Now we see the candidate's OPPONENT, in an unflattering photograph that makes him look like THE WORLD'S LARGEST GLOB OF EARWAX.)

    ANNOUNCER: The Opponent favors policies that could cause the Earth to rotate in the opposite direction, causing all life on the planet to hurtle into space and die. Is that really what Americans want?

    (Now we see the CANDIDATE standing in an attractive outdoor setting with his WIFE AND CHILDREN.)

    CANDIDATE: I want to lead America in the right direction. That's why I'm standing with my family on this lawn. And that's why I approve of this message.

    He's not even that far from the truth.

    6 comments:

    Esther Kustanowitz said...

    Ever hear of "it's funny because it's true?" Well, there you go. I'm going to miss Dave Barry's clear, if slightly exaggerated, view of reality.

    DovBear said...

    How are you voting? I'll add you to the list.

    Jack's Shack said...

    In honor of your blog I am changing my name to JackJack and I say that there is still time for a good write in candidate.

    DovBear said...

    Jack, baby. Tell me how you're voting, and write your own joke, and you can go on the list, too.

    Jack's Shack said...

    Cubaleh,

    I know that I am not the first to come up with that line, but I plead fatigue. And as you know fatigue is the best drug. :)

    I am currently inclined towards Kerry, but I may yet flip the other way.

    velvel said...

    Nice. I am voting for Bush because I am looking to elect the biggest raper/pillager/mass-murderer on the ballot.

    Don't be so sure you know how my wife is voting. She's been leaving me articles and links why Bush is the better candidate.

    Get bent.