Sharing is (not) for the goyim

Taken from the lma'an yishme'u shabbos table companion.

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the New Agunos

A guest post by Chaim Bray
What Bray writes, thinks, and says does not necessarily reflect the views of this blog. In fact, it probably doesn't.

How something is worded can make a world of difference in how it is perceived. E.g. the two sides in the abortion debate describe themselves as pro-choice and pro-life. No party in the debate wants to be called anti-choice, anti-life, pro-coercion or even pro-abortion.

So let's call a spade a spade.

How did the #OWS Jews promote their holiday services?

A reader ("D") has helpfully provided the language employed by their communications. Great stuff.

See it after the jump

Today's Must Read

A student at YU has written a powerful and cogent argument against the idealization of Hasidut at his college. I sympathize with some of his complaints, and agree with the overall thrust of his arguments. I also think its a scandal that YU Rabbis, alumni and administrators kowtow in front of Rebbes who openly disrespect YU, and I fully agree with his remarks about the dysfunction within the Hasidic community.

Read: Chassidism: The Truth, by Yitzchak Pinkesz

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#OWS kiddush or chillul hashem?

I suppose I've been living under a rock, but I've just discovered that some of the Jews who are participating in the #OWS protests celebrated our Fall holidays in public:

A protester lifting a Torah as part of a Simchat Torah celebration across from Zuccotti Park in Lower Manhattan.

Money quote: 

but the protests have also, on occasion, had a distinctly Jewish flavor: The encampment has coincided with the busy Jewish holiday season and has witnessed, in its midst or on its edges, a crowded Kol Nidre service on Yom Kippur, festive dancing with a scroll on Simhat Torah on Thursday night, and the sukkah

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More Esrog Magic

The things people put on their FaceBook pages...

PS
Does it work? OF COURSE IT WORKS. Only people who are long overdue are likely to attempt this magical remedy, and really what is so astounding about a woman who is long overdue going into labor?

Sent to me by someone who I expect does not wish to be named.

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... and GOP Jewish heads explode

Judge Richard Goldstone, the famous Israel hating judge, has utterly demolished the claim that Israel is an apartheid state in an op-ed that appeared in the New York Times, the famous Jew-hating newspaper.

So, let's see...  that's three GOP misconceptions exploded in just one sentence.

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Jewish Street Music

Go to about 2:25 if you're bored.


First comment was a winner:

Mr. DovBear,


There are some problems with this post that you need to address in order to comply with the mandates of Our Most Holy Rabbis.


First, there is no warning that this video contains Kol Isha. If I had known this, I would not have clicked on it. Now, I have the urge to go to a restaurant (Kosher, of course) that has mixed seating. I will blame you if I accidentally glance at a woman or mistakenly speak to one.


Second, even though you are merely linking to a youtube video, you should have gone the extra Chumra Approved step and blurred the faces of the women in the video. Even greater merit would be earned by your digitally removing all of the women altogether, but the minimal compliance Our Most Holy Rabbis demand is face blurring. Doing that and muting the sound when the singing began would have put this posting into compliance with the wishes of Our Most Holy Rabbis. Instead, you posted it as is, and I both saw and heard a woman singing - and saw images of the female passengers. As a result, after going to the mixed seating restaurant, I am tempted to go to the market and buy strawberries, afterwhich I will go home and eat them and likely think about mixed dancing. The destruction of my soul, which will be the likely result of this will, of course, be all your fault.


I originally had one other complaint, and that was because at 3:20, we see a young man in a kippah. I was going to say that it was wrong of the woman to subject a male Jew to the evil that is Kol Isha. But then I realized that the young man was not wearing a black hat, and he appeared to be wearing a gray winter jacket, not a long black coat . . . so, obviously, he's not really Jewish and Kol Isha would not be an issue in his case.


I am sure that you will give these points all of the due consideration that they merit and as a result you will bring this post into compliance with the rulings of Our Most Holy Rabbis. I very much look forward to your reposting of this post in a format that will not lead my soul into further sin and destruction.


Lt. Holier Than Thou
Chumra Police of Our Most Holy Rabbis

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Midrash Manicures

(from right to left) Idol, Terach's Shop, Abe smashing idols, Abe in pit of fire

A rabbi from Westechester is using her nails to teach young woman Torah. Dubbed Midrash Manicures, the program was recently covered by the august and always peeking in on the Jews, New York Times:

It’s the Midrash Manicures club at [Solomon] Schechter [of Westchester], a Jewish day school here, where the weekly club offerings include math club, glee club, sports writing club and this one, in which Rabbi Yael Buechler teaches girls in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades how to do their nails with designs inspired by the weekly Torah portion

Mitlonanim include Renee Ghert-Zand of the Forward who doesn't like separate sex studying. She writes:

"I feel strongly that co-ed learning should be maintained throughout the curriculum in egalitarian settings such as Conservative, Reform and community day schools. As a mother of boys, I think it is critical that my sons learn together with and benefit from the insights and perspectives of girls."

Renee hyphenated-last-name thinks its terrible that girls are being encouraged to use their nails to think about Torah, and that this is occurring without the participation of boys. I don't agree with her, but at the same time fail to see what's so exciting about Rabbi Yael Buechler's approach. My daughters (and sons!) also draw parsha pictures.

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The Other Kind of Gay Marriage

A Guest post By E. Fink

Cross-posted from my home blog: Finkorswim.com

Last week an orthodox Jewish woman posted the following on Reddit.com:

I am a lesbian marrying a gay man. We are out to each other and our closest friends. We both grew up in religious, traditional communities so we decided this was best for us. We both travel a lot so we are able to "explore" outside of the marriage. Ask away... 

Edit: we are doing this to stay connected to our community and our traditional (Orthodox Jewish) families.

Edit: to be clear, we are both seeing other people outside our relationship. We are out to close friends. I came out to my parents a while ago so technically they know but think that I have "changed".

There are currently over 1100 comments on this post. They are worth seeing.

Just what do those dirty #OWS hippies want anyway?

As reported in the Independant

The directors of Britain's largest companies were last night condemned as "elite greedy pigs" for pocketing a 49 per cent pay rise in the past year, while average workers failed even to keep up with inflation.

Unions exploded with fury after the publication of figures that showed how boardroom pay soared in the last financial year, thanks to rising salaries, bonuses and in particular the swelling value of directors' long-term share plans. The statistics, compiled by Incomes Data Services, provide an annual snapshot of executive remuneration, as reported in companies' most recent reports to shareholders, and show that the chief executives of the FTSE 100 largest companies earned an average of £3,855,172 last year. That is an average 43 per cent rise and, adding in other directors, total earnings rose by an average 49 per cent

If they have any foresight, those richies are investing their obscene profits in guillotines.....

Required reading right here:  http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2011/10/how_ows_confuses_and_ignores_fox_news_and_the_pundit_class_.html

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HASSIDS SAY, "WE ARE SO OVER THIS"

Did you see the Onion piece on the Amish? @azigra parodies it after the jump

Yair Nehorai gets a bum rap from Failed Messiah

"We will know we have become a normal country when Jewish thieves and Jewish prostitutes conduct their business in Hebrew." -- David Ben Gurion

Haredi types love to indict Zionism by pointing to the Hebrew speaking prostitutes of Tel Aviv, but what about the Hebrew speaking gangsters in their own neighborhoods? I speak specifically of the class of criminal defended by Yair Nahorai, of Meah Shearim, the subject of a feature article in today's Haaretz

Of late Nehorai has had his hands full of work in wake of the Jerusalem Police efforts to restrain the Sikarikim, who use threats and violent tactics to "cleanse" Jerusalem. The police have carried out several arrests and are carrying out intensive investigations into violence, tax evasion and extortion or protection money. Many in Mea She'arim have anointed Nehorai with the title "redeemer of prisoners," a status that fills him with pride. In recent years, he says, he has represented at least 300 ultra-Orthodox clients who were arrested in demonstrations against desecration of Shabbat at the Carta parking lot and the Intel plant in Jerusalem, at demonstrations of support of the mother accused of starving her child and in other cases.

My good friend Shamrya, in his post today, strongly criticizes Nahari's general approach to wining many of those acquittals

But to argue that and entire class of criminal should be treated leniently because they are religious zealots, not 'real' criminals, is not only offensive but it is contrary to the legal systems these criminals supposedly live under...civil society should have jailed [the alleged gangster/button man Avraham] Hirschman years ago, but it didn't do so, in part because of Nehorai...People hate lawyers for many good reasons. The disgraceful Yair Nehorai is one of them.

I understand why Shmarya is upset, but he's attacking the wrong person. A lawyer works for his client, not for society. The job of  a criminal attorney like Nahorai is to get his client an acquittal. 

In pursuit of that goal, he has an absolute right to advance any argument he chooses. He can't lie, but he's not allowed to do a half-ass job because he knows his client is guilty. Scumbags are also entitled to vigorous defenses.

Short-sighted people may object that this puts criminals back on the street, but without strong defense lawyers, what protects innocent people from over-zealous prosecutors?  In an adversarial system, the prosecutor, and to a lesser extent the judge, are supposed to be the safeguards against fallacious arguments advanced by the defense. Its not Nehorai's fault his bogus arguments are swaying hearts and minds. He's merely doing his job, and putting his client's interests first, and (dare I say it?)  he's also improving society by forcing prosecutors to do their own jobs honestly and fairly.

The problem isn't Nahorai. The problem is the Israeli prosecutors and judges who are accepting his malarkey, instead of pushing back with crisp, vigorous, counterarguments of their own.

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How did Chazal know that Noah was raped (or sodomized)

Michelangelo's version; I assume Canaan is the one outside

How did the Sages know what they "knew"? Often via close examination of the text. Here's BT Sanhedrim 70a on the crime committed against Noah:

And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father, and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. [Until here is a quote from Gen 9 20-24' [With respect to what was done] Rab and Samuel [differ,] one maintaining that he castrated him, whilst the other says that he sexually abused him. He who maintains that he castrated him, [reasons thus;] Since he cursed him by his fourth son, he must have injured him with respect to a fourth son But he who says that he sexually abused him, draws an analogy between 'and he saw' written twice. Here it is written, And Ham the father of Canaan saw the nakedness of his father; whilst elsewhere it is written, And when Shechem the son of Hamor saw her [he took her and lay with her and defiled her].Now, on the view that he emasculated him, it is right that he cursed him by his fourth son; but on the view that he abused him, why did he curse his fourth son; he should have cursed him himself? — Both indignities were perpetrated. [Soncino translation]

To summarize:

Everyone agrees something bad happened, because we're told Noah "knew" what was done to him. This makes it clear that the crime was something other than being gazed upon.

Rav is directed to castration [blue above] because of the Mida Kneged Mida, suggesting that Noah was prevented from having a fourth child so he avenged himself on the perpetrator's fourth child.

Shmuel [red above] thinks rape is more likely because we're told that Ham SAW his father and there are many more places where the victim of a rape or sexual abuse is "seen" prior to the attack. Along with the example given of Shechem seeing Dina, the Sons of God in Genesis 6 see the Daughters of Man; Sara is seen by Pharoh; and Potiphar's wife sees Josef.

Additionally there are at least 5 other clues that the crime was something sexual:

1) It says Vayedah Noach, and Noah knew. All over the bible vayedah is used as a euphamism for sex
2) Quite unecessarily, we are told the brothers carried the blanket on their shoulders, וַיָּשִׂימוּ עַל-שְׁכֶם שְׁנֵיהֶם. The seemingly gratuitous mention of Shchem reminds us of the crime committed their against Dina.
3) Canan is everywhere in Scripture used as a representative for wantan immorality. The fact that he is singled out here suggests that the crime he committed was from that category of offenses.
4)  There are many, many parallels between the story of Lot and the story of Noah.  To make the paralel complete, we must assume that Noah's episode of excessive drinking was followed by an act of immorality, just as Lot's episode of excessive drinking led to an illicit act.
5) Noah was given an express command to procreate. He was also told to leave the ark with his wife (Gen 8:16) but instead leaves with his sons (Gen 8:18) in defiance of the order. Rather than make babies, he made wine, and lounged around in his birthday suit showing open contempt for his obligation. Casteration is the appropriate mida kneged mida,

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Word Play, Parallels and Irony in Noach

Regarding Noah, the Bible quotes his father Lemach as saying:

 זֶה יְנַחֲמֵנוּ מִמַּעֲשֵׂנוּ וּמֵעִצְּבוֹן יָדֵינוּ מִן הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר אֵרְרָהּ יְ־הֹוָ־ה: = This one will give us comfort from our work, and from the toil of our hands from the ground that God has cursed.

From this, the Sages guessed that Noah invented the plow, through which the curse of Adam was partially undone. No longer would men have to toil with their hands to grow food. With the plow, the work was made easier. (How his father knew this at the time of his son's naming is not explained.) 

There's some word play later, when speaking of mankind God says:

כִּי נִחַמְתִּי כִּי עֲשִׂיתִם: I regret that I made them

The suggestion seems to be that Noach was meant to be an antidote to God's regret. God regrets  (nahem) that he made man, but the comfort (nehama) is standing by in the person of Noach.

This is born out by an additional example. The verse says

וְנֹחַ מָצָא חֵן בְּעֵינֵי יְ־הֹוָ־ה Noah found favor in Gods eyes.

The word Noah and Chen are a palindrome. The suggestion seems to be that Noah himself is the potential source of favor.

Perhaps Noach is meant to undo the curse of Adam and to become the vehicle through which the shortcomings in the first creation are corrected.

As noted, the Sages say he started this process through his invention of the plow. Additionally some  parallels exist between Noah and Adam.

Both are given a command to populate the world. Both have three sons, one of whom was a black sheep who committed a serious crime. And as per BT Sanhedrin 70a both were undone by wine. Those Sages who imagine the forbidden fruit was a grape criticize Noah for failing to learn  from Adam's mistake.

Ironically, wine is also a source of comfort, and also something that eases a worker's toil. Perhaps what the verses mean is that Noah had the potential to bring great comfort, to correct the world, and cancel Adam's curse. Instead he imitated Adam's error, and  introduced to the world a paler, more destructive form of comfort. When he named his son, Noach's father envisioned great things; what his son delivered was an accurate fulfillment of the father's wish, but not what was specifically intended.

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A Suggested Blessing for Shem (A neat emendation)

The great ParshaBlog suggests a very interesting emendation that no one religious should see or know about. His kfiradika post is here. My summary follows:

After Noach realizes what his sons did to him, he makes a pronouncement that some have interpreted as a blessing (Notably SRH reads it not as a blessing, but a a statement of fact about the individuals themselves)  The passage reads as follows:

וַיֹּאמֶר, אָרוּר כְּנָעַן עֶבֶד עֲבָדִים, יִהְיֶה לְאֶחָיו. :	25 And he said: Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
כו וַיֹּאמֶר, בָּרוּךְ ה אֱלֹהֵי שֵׁם; וִיהִי כְנַעַן, עֶבֶד לָמוֹ.	26 And he said: Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem; and let Canaan be their servant.
כז יַפְתְּ אֱלֹהִים לְיֶפֶת, וְיִשְׁכֹּן בְּאָהֳלֵי-שֵׁם; וִיהִי כְנַעַן, עֶבֶד לָמוֹ.	27 God enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be their servant.

As you can see, no curse or blessing for Shem (verse 26) is pronounced, and no statement of fact is made about him. At Shem's turn, Noach blesses God instead, and oddly enough refers to YKVK as a Shem's personal deity. It's almost as if no one else in the family recognized Him. Strange, when you consider the flood, and the miracles the family had just experienced.

ParshaBlogs suggestion is that the word אֱלֹהֵי [=God of]  in verse 26 should be אָהֳלֵי [=tent of]. Along with solving all of the problems indicated in the preceding paragraph, this suggestion introduces a very sensible parallel: In verse 26 Noach asks God to bless Shem's tent; in verse 27 the tent of Shem, which has just been blessed,  is mentioned again as a place where Japeth might dwell.

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What was the forbidden fruit?

It grew on a tree in the primordial garden. After the snake tricked Eve into tasting it,  she shared it with the Man. From then its been all downhill. But what was the fruit? There are lots of contenders...

Early Jewish ideas:

Figs
Reason: (a) It puns on to-anah which means "grief" By eating from the teinah [=fig] the first couple introduced suffering, death and the rest into the world  (b) Juxtaposition of verses: After they fruit has been eaten, the pair perceive that they are naked [of mitzvoth] and sew garments for themselves from fig leaves. [Bereishis Rabah 19:6] Also, figs have a phallic shape. On the ceiling of the Sistine Chapal Adam is shown tasting a fig.

Grapes:
Reason: What creates more suffering than the grape? Do you doubt it? Well look what happened to poor Noah. [Bereishis Rabah 15:7; Rabbi Meir on BT Berachos 40a]

Wheat
Reason: Puns on khet, which means sin. By eating from the khitah [=wheat] the first couple introduced sin into the world [Rabbi Yehuda on BT Berachos 40a]

Esrog
Reason: Puns on ragag which means desire. Also, esrogim are shaped like the uterus/cervix.

Carob:
Reason: Puns on churban which means destruction.  By eating from the charuv [=carob] the first couple introduced sin into the world

I'll leave it to you guys to work out how much stock we should put in puns as an exegetical method. 

Later Jewish idea:

Apple
Reason: Song of Songs speaks of apples in an erotic fasion. They're a symbol for female breast, and used in the Song to connote sweetness and desire

Early Christian idea

Apple
Reason: (a) The Vulgate describes the tree of Good and Evil as de ligno autem scientiae boni et mali: "but of the tree (lit. wood) of knowledge of good and evil. Mali is a form of malum which means apple" (b) The evil goddess Eris uses apples to create discord in the famous Greek myths.

Generally, the western Church went with apples, while the Eastern Church used figs. (Muslims tend to identify the fruit as figs or olives)

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