What would Rabbi Avigdor Miller do about Trump?

As a Toyra Tree Jee, this letter is very confusing. On the one hand the Rav says to avoid candidates like Trump who have the support of Nazis, scum and other deplorables. On the other hand he says we should only vote for candidates who pledge to appoint close-minded and ignorant judges who intend to use the constitution to impose a backwards and regressive morality on the country. What do I do?

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Misplaced priorities

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New person I hate: Shmuel Rabinowitz, Administrator of the Western Wall and chairman of the Western Wall Heritage Foundation

After the rioting at the kotel yesterday morning, he said: “due to deep trembling for the [possible] harm to the many Torah scrolls that were brought along” he had instructed the orderlies at the site not to clash with the demonstrators.

Meaning he'd have been happy to break heads if the Torahs hadn't been present. Why no deep trembling for the [possible] harm to human beings, you shmuck?

Violent fracas breaks out at Western Wall

Eventually several Torah scrolls made it into the women’s section for Women of the Wall’s monthly service, while a pluralist prayer service was conducted in the upper plaza of the site.

JPOST.COM

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Breaking: HOAX supports FRAUD!

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So many offensive things in this one little article, but I think the most offensive item is this:

"The head of a major Jerusalem cheder, or religious elementary school, “came to vote today,” Zell said. “He told me he had decided to vote, and explained to his students why he did so — because of the values of the Republican Party, belief in the Creator of the world and family values."

1. Trump and family values? Really?
2. Republicans and family values? Really? Sure, they are the party of family values, unless your family happens to be one of the following: poor, unemployed,non-white, uninsured, inner city, rural, single parent, disabled, atheist or democrat.
3. And let's not spend any more time talking about family value icons like Trump and Gingrich and Giuliani who remain part stalwarts

Mystical Zohar ‘predicts Trump victory,’ Israel GOP head reveals

Citing an unnamed Haredi mystic, Marc Zell says Trump campaign staffers were ‘amazed’ at the news

TIMESOFISRAEL.COM

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Trump supporters are dumb

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I was accosted this weekend by someone who told me that it was up to us, as Orthodox Jews, to put Trump in the White House because he'll stop the gay agenda. My top objections:

1. Trump is an immoral, hedonist, vulgarian. He's not likely to be anti-gay.
2. The president has no actual power to enact anti gay legislation. That's Congress's job.
3. The rise of Christianity does more to affect and influence our lives than gay marriage. We hear more about Jesus and Christianity than we do about sodomy. In fact, when was the last time you saw an act of sodomy? Meanwhile, it can be hard to walk down the street without being bombarded by Christian images and messages.So why are you eager to shut down homosexuality but content to let Jesus flourish?
4. You're a pot-smoking tax cheat, you hypocritical moron.

What did I leave out?

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God is mean to us on Sukkot (in our imagination, anyway)

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Have you noticed that Sukkot is the holiday in which we ascribe to God characteristics and personality traits we would find despicable in human beings?

He evaluates us based on the quality of the fruit we're toting around? He wants to hear us scream for rain at the end of the holiday? But if He makes it rain at the start of the holiday it's because He's feeling petulant about our previous behavior? Marching around in a parade with our vegetables give him pleasure? He decides if he likes us or not based on how vigorously we shake a twig?

I would not want to hang out with a human being who exhibited such shallow behavior, yet that's the deity I'm supposed to worship?

Note: I am aware that this mode of thinking is leftover from the days when feudal lords ruled the world, and dancing around their temper was the only way to get through the day. We had to simper and grovel, and they were often petulant, short-tempered and unreasonable. And we tend to think about God the same way we think about flesh and blood leaders. But today such behaviors are unacceptable in an authority figure. Tony Soprano has been replaced by Ronald Reagan. We respond to leaders who are fair, charismatic, selfless, rational and predictable. So how can we update the way we think about God and Sukkot to reflect this new mode of thinking?


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Yom Kippur: Mar + Matok

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I'm the crazy person who really likes the Yom Kippur davening.  If the chazan and congregation are on their games, the result can be perfectly amazing. On a great Yom Kippur, the service will make me think and feel, while it elevates my emotions and leaves me spent. The afterglow is real.

In fact,  I'm so crazy, that I'd rather spend less time on  Viduy and Avinu Malkaynu and more time on the piyuttim. I like to read them and, when the chazzan is doing his job, I like to sing them, too. 

No claims about how any of this effects God and my din, however. I can only say what it does to me.

However, not everything about Yom Kippur is peaches and creme. 

Here are my Opposite of Top Yom Kippur moments:

1) Selling aliyot. I will never understand why "we need the money" is allowed to serve as an excuse to turn a place of prayer into a marketplace on one of the holiest days of the year. It fails as an excuse, because a) many of the places that sell honors don't actually "need money" and b) you could also prostitute the rabbi's wife, or put Nascar signs on the Aron for money. Point is some lines we don't cross, and it's weird to me that this isn't one of them.

2) The ArtScroll encouraged idea that "[The piyutim are] infinitely more than inspired poetry." See, "infinitely more than poetry" is NewSpeak, a way of hiding the frightening fact that it really IS poetry, and that our community, for all it's jive about being "authentic" is failing our fathers, and making a mistake by not teaching our young people to write and appreciate poetry.

3) The appeal after Kol Nidray. See #1

4) People who complain about how boring shul is, or spend the day reading or learning. Will you please kwicherbellyachin'? Please? This attitude, I've found, is more common in shtiebles, and its usually the people who identify themselves as "very frum" who think its holier to learn when the rest fo us are praying

5) Chazzanim who use new tunes for the piyutim. Call me an unreconstructed traditionalist, but I don't want to sing Maaseh Elokim to the latest Shwekcy hit. And though I recognize that some of the more "traditional" tunes were likely Russian drinking songs before we appropriated them, that isn't what they mean to me.


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Torah True Tashlich

The person who knows this is absurd and seeks to excuse it will say, "maybe they couldnt go to real body of water........" 

But, really? As if getting to a body of water is way more difficult then setting up a tent, bleachers and hiring a photographer?
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Rosh Hashana 2016

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I feel like I gained 5 pounds and my head is swimming with synagogue music. On the one hand it's nice, and I am enjoying the buzz; on the other hand isn't this just about the cheapest form of spirituality?   

In other gashmius news I ate extremely well and for the most part enjoyed the 6.5 hr service for the and went home with my emotions elevated. This is because it feels nice to sit with your friends, listening to a high quality chazan, especially when you add in the cultural and historical significance. This is analogous to attending the opera, for those who like opera. Also, its nice sitting in shul with my sons. This is analogous to a long time Ranger fan sitting in the Garden with his kids during an important game.   

And how was your Rosh Hashana?
MENU HIGHLIGHTS

Canard au Miel
Moroccan Pot Roast with dried cherries
Grilled Pomegranate-Glazed Chicken With Tomato Salad

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Where did Jonah receive his prophecy?

According to a legend recorded in the Jerusalem Talmud (and cited by Tosfot in the Babylonian Talmud, which is where I saw it) Jonah the prophet first heard from God while he was rejoicing at the simchas bes hashoayva.

My assumption, of course, is that the author of the legend saw something in the book of Jonah that pointed to this event, however obliquely. But what could that be? 

Other then the fact that Jonah builds a sukkah at the end of the book, which may suggest that the entire story took place on Sukkot, I don't have much else to go on.

Your help?

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RIP Shimon Peres

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Big social media day ahead for the super right wing Zionist crazies.

They get to spend it dumping on the still-warm corpse of Shimon Peres, the lion of Israel who did more for the Jewish people and the country of Israel than any 500 of us combined. #stayclassy

And before you start screaming about Oslo, ask yourself this: what would have happened had Rabin lived and not been succeeded by a man who dedicated his first year in office to undermining everything Peres and Rabin had done? We'll never know, of course, but any discussion of Peres's legacy needs to recall Netanyahu's desire to sabotage Oslo.

In any event, here's my list of the top members of Israel's founding generation

PERES
Six generations of service. Made Israel strong, then tried gallantly to leverage that strength into peace and prosperity

BEN GURION
Did plenty, but retired early and disappeared. Gets credit for organizing several squabbling militias into one strong force, and for making it clear that Israel was going to be a nation of laws.

WEIZMANN
Did all the early diplomatic smoothing. Also could have done much more, had he been given more time.

MEIR
Raised all the money.

BEGIN
A terrorist at first, but demonstrated genuine patriotism when he disarmed and went into the opposition. We thank him for his Going to China moment with Egypt, as well.

DAYAN
The symbol of '67. Foreign Minister for the Egypt/Israel accords. Did more with one eye than any of us do with two.



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Debate 2016 #1

Best moment of the debate was Trump inadvertently admitting he pays zero federal taxes. Unfortunately Hillary was too on script to notice and capitalize.

The clear admission came when Hillary accused him of not paying taxes and he replied "[If I had paid taxes] it would have been squandered."

As of now, that an other moments are why most of the media is declaring that Hillary won. I saw the  debate, and agree. But I keep running into people who think she lost.

Other than laughing out loud or making the crazy signal with your finger, what is an appropriate way to respond to someone who thinks Trump won last night?

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How do the racists think about us?

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This is Barack Obama talking about his white grandmother, but it might as well be me describing my father-in-law or anyone from my shul:

...a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

I think this aptly describes how we kind-hearted people think about racists who may have managed to earn our love or respect in other ways. We can simultaneously despise the  racism while also appreciating the good qualities.

Does this  work in reverse? Do racists find it possible to value us non-racists for our  other qualities, while, at the same time, hating the decency and correctness of character that makes us non-racists?

DEBATE COVERAGE LATER TODAY (I HOPE)

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AKPs

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I've recently become aware of a mainstream Jewish belief in something I've named Airborne Kedushah Particles. 

From what I can determine, AKPs are prevalent around the graves of tzadikim and other historical sites such as the kotel. Hasidim think they also gather around the male scions of certain families, while their rivals, the Litvaks, insist piety and scholarship are required, too. All believe AKPs can be summoned by singing Jewish songs (or re-purposed Polish songs) or by eating Ashkenazi soul food, like cholent. 

AKPS can't be seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelled, so I'm not quite sure yet how AKPs are perceived but I've been told some people "can just feel it in their hearts.

Anything to add?

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What makes Uman special?

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This guy I know is bright. If a test showed he was smarter than me I'd believe it. No problem. He's also rich and mostly self-made (Let's ignore the childhood privilege, the advantages his parents bought him, and the lucky breaks) which gives him a bit of the wrong kind of confidence to go with his brains.

Anyway, he's convinced that there is something magical in the air in places like Sefad and Uman that cause him to feel a certain way (he calls this holiness.) When I suggest that he feels the way that he feels in Uman due to his upbringing and education he counters that there is no rational reason for him to enjoy being in a smelly stink hole like Uman. Therefore the cause must be the invisible magic things in the air that he is perceiving through an invisible antenna.

Naturally, I found this absurd until it occurred to me that I might be making the same mistake the rich guy is making. See, I like going to Uman or the graves of tzadikim for the exact same reason I like to go to museums or football games, ie something about how I'm wired makes the experience pleasurable. So I assumed that it's the same for everyone. But how do I know that? Perhaps he's experiencing something radically and quantifiable different in Uman? Perhaps if I had that same experience I would agree that it couldn't possibly be the product of outlook and education!

Here is what I would like to subject to a test...

a) I experience Safed and Uman the same way I experience museums and football games; I and I beliece that is due to the forces that have shaped my personality, including education and upbringing, I find the experience pleasurable.

b) My friends and and others like him discount this and say that the experiences are not identical. As a result, they hypothesize magic. We can't test for magic; however...

C) My hypothesis is that people like them experience Uman and Safed in a way that is radically and quantifiably different from the way that I experience it. 

This is what I would like to test. How to do it?


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Donuts and Jews

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The great Fred McDowell posted this on Facebook and asked for a Jewish version. Over 350 examples were provided. As you might expect, most were quite bad, but some were rather good.

 :

Some of the better ones: 


Hillel: Ess, bubbeleh. The rest is commentary.

Yeshayahu Liebowitz: One should not enjoy his donut on Chanukah, also there was no Chanukah, but one eats a donut because it is commanded.

Mordechai Breuer: It appears that there are many different brands of donuts, but there's really one baker making all of them.

GSUFYO: "does anyone know if Conservative Jews eat donuts? Just asking.
update: I didn't mean to offend."

RSR Hirsch:  the word donut is derived from the aramaic דו and the English "not", thus symbolizing the refusal of the Jewish people to accept anything but monotheism.

Reb Shlomo: Let me tell you a deep gevaldige story about Duvid'l the donut..

David Rosenthal Why Cronuts are not Donuts

R Eliyahu Fink Why a donut? Because it's so nice to eat on the beach, and appreciate God's goodness in giving us beaches and donuts.

Dov Bear: The donut recipe in Braishis Rabba is actually a poor rip-off from a Greek recipe for English Muffins.

Here are my contributions

Avi Shafran: Sure, those anti donut bloggers would have you believe donuts are unhealthy but really they are more nutritious than kale

Pruzansky: Most of the time, when a donut gets eaten, it's the donut's own fault for going out wearing sprinkles and frosting

Menken: Women who eat donuts aren't doing it because they are hungry. They're doing it because they want to destroy yidishkite

Gordimer: I find my donuts less tasty if I think that someone, somewhere is eating one in a newfangled way.

YWN: BREAKING YWN EXCLUSIVE Donut visits sleep away camp!

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Orthodoxy's Claims to Authenticity

Orthodoxy holds itself to be the only legitimate form of Judaism, both now and back through the ages. Jews who were practicing the "right" way were practicing more or less as Orthodox Jews do today. There were some differences in the past, but these were due to circumstance, and were fairly trivial. The differences were sociological and technological, not theological or ritualistic.  A traditionally-practicing Jew from any era in the past would recognize the practices of Orthodoxy as his own. As the Chasam Sofer declared in his clever rallying cry against Reform, "Chadash assur min haTorah." Traditional Judaism has not and must not allow change from the correct practices and ideologies, practices and ideas that were given to Moshe on Har Sinia and passed down faithfully by the baalie mesorah. Practices and ideologies that great rabbonim through the ages explained how to observe within the reality in which they lived, but which have been essentially unchanged and uninfluenced by the outside world.

Orthodox Judaism is the only valid form of Judaism, because only Orthodoxy carries on the traditions of the mesorah and halacha and has not allowed itself to be changed in reaction to social, philosophical, or changes in what we know about the world. Other forms of Judaism are illegitimate because they are attempts to mold Judaism to the milieu, something that authentic Judaism does not do. They reject ikkarim in favor of secular mores and knowledge. The only legitimate Judaism is one that looks to the timeless truths of the mesorah, one that has not and does not allow the world around it to influence its attitudes, minhagim, halacha, or hashkafa.

1. Is this an accurate portrayal of Orthodoxy's position?

2. If so, is there some authoritative source, a popular sefer or article or drasha  by a recognized figure that I could quote as saying so?

The Jewish Home

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A Facebook pal I hold in high regard recently made aliyah, but when pressed by a second friend to articulate that qualities that make Israel great, he talked about food and convenience: Everything at the food court is kosher. No special accommodation are needed at work for Shabbos and Yom Tov. Things like that.

I supposes what he means is that no longer feels like a guest or a stranger in his own country. And that, I think, is my point of departure from many Modern Orthodox Zionists. Unlike many of them, I've never felt like an outsider in America. I've always taken seriously the constitutional guarantee that Jewish citizens and Non Jewish citizens are identically "American." I reject the notion that this is a Christian country as I reject the notion that America belongs to any one ethnic group at the expense of the others that reside here. I've always felt perfectly at home here.

After the terror attack in France, when Netanyahu told the Jews of France that "the state of Israel is your home" I felt that along with offering support to beleaguered French Jews, he had had also done something inexcusable.

Part of the civic struggle of the last few centuries has been the battle to convince racists and bigots that citizenship in a Western Democracy does not depend on race, gender or religion. All of us, irrespective of color or creed, have equal access to all of the benefits, burdens and responsibilities of American society. When Netanyahu says Israel is the "Jewish home" he is communicating his lack of faith in this essential tenet, and endangering all non-Israeli Jews by letting bigots and racists know that they are free to disregard it, too. Even worse, he seems to be hinting that that only Jews are entitled to the full benefits of Israeli citizenship, just as he seems to imagine that the benefits, rights and protections of French citizenship are available to the ethnically French alone.

Like my nouveau-Israeli friend, I'm not at blind to the pleasures of living in a society that is built to revolve around my own needs and desires. But philosophically, I oppose it. I think allowing any one religion or ethnicity to dominate the public culture is bad civics.

One of the truly singular and remarkable things about America is that this does not happen here. The fact that it happens in Israel feels to me like a guilty pleasure.

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