Sunday, December 06, 2009

An Invitation to Consistency


by SM

Amanda Knox has been convicted of the particularly gruesome murder of a fellow student. Knox is an American mid-Westener. The victim was from the UK. The alleged motive was a refusal to indulge in Knox's sexual games.

The DNA evidence is poor, because the Italian police didn't bag the scene for 45 days. The DNA of a man convicted at an earlier trial was in the victim's bedroom. Knox's was not. It was impossible to wipe her DNA without leaving signs. There were no such signs. On the other hand, straight after the murder Knox embraced and kissed her boyfriend and was smiling and turning cartwheels in the police station. She says it is just how she is and that she is known as 'foxy Knoxy' because she is good at soccer.

Now: who would like this bright, white, pretty all-American girl with no previous convictions, lawfully convicted by a properly convened Court to be killed? Step forward.


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Meheiroh

Friday, December 04, 2009

DovBear Design Contest

I'd like to have a smashing new header for my dusty 5-year old blog. Are you the talented graphic designer who can provide it? In exchange, I can give you anything you like in the way of publicity, and perhaps even a (very) small fee.

Please contact me by email.

What happened to Dina?

Following her rape, at the hands of Shechem, Dina disapears from the narrative. Her fate is the subject of some rabbinical speculation, with one interpretive tradition saying she became the wife of her full-brother Shimon, and another saying she married Job. [Another interprtation, provided in the modern midrash The Red Tent by Anita Diamont, has her eventually finding her way to Egypt and reuniting with her family.]

Explanations

The Shimon midrash appears to be based on a textual anoamly in the story of Dina's rescue. We're told:

אֶת־חֲמֹור֙ וְאֶת־שְׁכֶ֣ם בְּנֹ֔ו הָרְג֖וּ לְפִי־חָ֑רֶב וַיִּקְח֧וּ אֶת־דִּינָ֛ה מִבֵּ֥ית שְׁכֶ֖ם וַיֵּצֵֽאוּ׃
They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem's house, and went forth.

The verb "and they took" can also mean "they married" (ie took as a wife) and it appears redundant to say they both took her, and left with her. The rescue was carried out by Shimon and Levi together, though I don't know why Shimon, and not Levi is the presumed groom. Perhaps because he was older? Or maybe, this is a way to save Shimon from the perceived error of marrying a Canaanite. Elsewhere (Ex 6:15) we're introduced to Shaul, the son of Shimon and "a Caanantie woman." The midrash says this woman is actually Dina, and Saul is the son she had with Shechem. (Though I hasten to add that R. Nechemia, a Tanna, said all the brothers married Canaanite women, so presumably he did not accept or know of this tradition.)

The Job midrash, the Talmud says, is sourced in word-play. Job tells his wife כדבר אחת הנבלות תדברי you speak as an impious woman and about Shechem's attack, the Torah says כי נבלה עשה בישראל he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel*. The idea seems to be that Shechem turned Dina into נבלה and later Job's wife is identified with the same word.

Though I think the Shimon midrash is based on the text, my hunch is that the prooftext provided in the Talmud for the Job midrash is actually a retro-reason, that is a reason provided after the fact to explain an exisiting tradition.

I say this, both because the connection based on a single word seems fanciful, and also because James Kugel, in The Bible as it Was shows that the Dina-was-Job's wife tradition dates to Testament of Job (a pseudepigraphic work originally composed in Greek perhaps, Kugel speculates, by a Christian in the first century, but more likely by a Greek-speaking Jew a few centuries earlier.

In this book, Job calls himself a "son of Esav" suggesting the original source of the Dina-was-Job's wife tradition is not the appearance of the word נבלה but the belief that Esav's descendant Jobab was actually Job. (a similarity that I suppose is much more pronounced in Greek.)

Additionally, the Talmud does not identify the author of Dina-was-Job's wife tradition, suggesting that it was merely something everyone knew, that the redactor of the Talmud (ie the Sevoraim who didn't speak Greek) were now trying to justify after many centuries had passed. (Counter argument: Berashis Rabbah attributes the Dina-was-Job's wife tradition to Abbah bar Khana. I don't know when Abbah Bar Khana lived, and Berashis Rabba dates to around the time of the Talmud, so this attribution doesn't necessarily defeat my suggestions; moreover Dina is identified as Job's wife in Philo, and in the Job Targum.)

* The claim that כי נבלה עשה בישראל he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel*  seems like an anachronism. In Deuteronomy a promiscuous daughter is also said to have committed נְבָלָה...בְיִשְׂרָאֵל a disgraceful thing in Israel. The rape of Dina is described with the same phrase, though "Israel," at that moment, consisted of just Jacob and his 12 sons.
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East Ramapo aftermath

Aaron Weider, the Hasid on the East Ramapo School Board who chaired the atrocious meeting at which a lawyer who has elsewhere helped school districts divert resources to yeshivot was hired, addressed the public at a follow-up meeting last Wednesday night.

He was booed and heckled without mercy. See it. [And don't miss the look of pain that crosses the chair's face when Wieder demonstrates his ignorance of procedure by claiming he speaks "as a board member". Naturally, Weider ignores all objections and just plows ahead. Later, a parent speaks against the lawyer and is threatened, bullied and intimidated by the lawyer himself who has to be escorted by security back to his seat. [See it (man in grey sweatshirt)]

According to the Journal News, Weider apologized, though no apology is evident on the video, and the only Weider quote the paper provides sounds deeply insincere:
"Change we can believe in comes with bold and daring actions that can be controversial," Wieder said.
Call me a cynic, with cruel yet handsome eyes, but when a Hasid references Obama, I think its fair to say someone is being patronized.

Hat tip: Amshinover

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Thursday, December 03, 2009

Orthododx Rabbi stands up for the Talis Wearing Woman

Shmuel Herzfeld, the Rabbi of Ohev Sholom--The National Synagogue (Orthodox) has written a firm letter of protest to Israel's Ambassador to the U.S., in which he says that the Israeli police made a serious error last month when they arrested a talis-wearing woman at the Wall. His argument in her defense is not based on principles of tolerance, inclusion, and humility, but on Jewish law.

According to Rabbi Herzfeld, normative Jewish law permits a woman to wear a talis.

Read his letter after the jump

Union Carbide's shame: 25 years on.

OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR
A Cloud Still Hangs Over Bhopal

By SUKETU MEHTA in the New York Times
IN the Mumbai kindergarten my son went to, the children never had to clean up after themselves; that was the servants’ job. So I really liked the school my son attended when we moved back to Brooklyn, where the teachers made the children tidy up at the end of the day. “Cleanup time, cleanup time!” my 6-year-old sang, joyfully gathering his scraps. It’s a wonderful American tradition: you always clean up the mess you made.

This is the 25th anniversary of the Bhopal gas disaster, an epic mess that started one night when a pesticide plant owned by the American chemical giant Union Carbide leaked a cloud of poisonous gas. Before the sun rose, almost 4,000 human beings capable of love and anguish sank to their knees and did not get up. Half a million more fell ill, many with severely damaged lungs and eyes.

Guest Post: To be haredi or dati leumi?

An introductory note from Rafi G: What follows was guest posted on my blog, Life in Israel, and I thought the topic is appropriate to be analyzed and discussed here as well.

A Guest Post by Yehoshua Shapiro

Dear Rafi,

Thank you for allowing me space on your blog so that I can hopefully get some direction from your readers and you as well because you have very good insights.

Just a bit of background about myself: we made aliyah just over 7 years ago to Yerushalyim. We are going through an identity crisis now as we can not figure out if we are Charedi or Dati Leumi, or perhaps I should say our dilemma is which direction to pick for our children.

I would think we are Dati Leumi because if there would be no State of Israel we would not be living here. We realize that the government does not exactly always run to our liking, but then we are grateful that we have a government and hopefully one day the government will be run to our liking.

My children all learn in the local Mamad Torani school. One son we send to Rapaport and another kid is still young and goes to a private gan in a house. My daughter now must look for a high school and I am told now is when one has to make a decision of "what you are".

My daughter visited a school today that is considered a charedi leumi school though neither my wife nor my daughter were happy with it. We can look at real Charedi schols or there are the schools for girls that are very strong into the beliefs of Rav Kook and I think they have serious students. I guess we are leading towards that direction now.

What I am very curious to know is why it is that so many people people choose the Charedi route after they make aliyah. I came from a similar background to many of the people who decide to choose the charedi route yet they look at me like I am crazy that I send my children to the Mamad.

There seems to be problems with both types of schools, but my feelings are that there are less problems with the Mamad Torani system. It seems to me to be the most similar system that we had back in the US. I would be very appreciative if someone can explain to me why so many people don't choose the mamad torani schools.

I once mentioned my dilemma to a leading Rabbi who is a zionist but learned in Ponivitche Yeshiva, and when my girls were in grade school I expressed my concern where they should go to school. He said that it is not a concern - they can always go to Ofakim after they finish HS and be acceptable to all communities. I think that is what he meant.

My reservations of the Mamad system is they look to please everyone and sometimes you really don't please anyone that way. The maamad torani system ends after 8th grade, so I must choose something else now.

Some of my concerns in the non charedi system are the level of tzinut and wide usage of internet, though I feel some of these things can be dealt with at the home level.

I have a few questions to address those who have decided to choose the charedi route. The people who come collecting for money are all dressed in charedi clothes, the fliers that this one or that one died all look charedi, can it be that the charedi system can cause people to get physically sick, especially if one has numerous daughters and one is expected to buy them each an apartment?
I think, god forbid, I might get sick as well in that situation. The idea of having to buy an apartment is very frightening to me. I know some very well respected talmdei chachmim who now have to marry off their daughters, and their daughters deserve the cream of the crop, but in order to get the cream of the crop one has to put up a lot of money. At the present time I would not be able to afford this method, though who knows what the future will bring - perhaps I do not have enough bitachon.

I have one niece married and and a nephew married. By both couples the husband is learning full time and neither one has an apartment. I don't recall that there were any demands made on any of the parents. I guess they are considered dati leumi, although I hate labels. I have great respect for these - people perhaps this is what I should encourage for my children.

If anyone has some solid advice I would greatly appreciate it. Any advice on a high school for my daughter - we are only interested in non-dormitory high schools.

Sincerely,

Yeshoua Shapiro


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Anah's mules

What did Anah, actually find in the dessert, and will it "ruin" my children to share with them the whole story?

:: Masoretic Text ואלה בני צבעון ואיה וענה הוא ענה אשר מצא את הימם במדבר ברעתו את החמרים לצבעון אביו ׃
These are the sons of Zibeon: Aiah and Anah-- he is the Anah who found הימם in the wilderness when he was pasturing the donkeys of his father Zibeon. [translated, by Rashi et al, as mules, with a nice drash provided about how Anah was illegitimate, and brought the illegitimate mixed beast into the world. The horror at mixing unalike items, which is represented everywhere in Judaism, is reflected here.]

:: LXX: και ουτοι υιοι σεβεγων αιε και ωναν ουτος εστιν ο ωνας ος ευρεν τον ιαμιν εν τη ερημω οτε ενεμεν τα υποζυγια σεβεγων του πατρος αυτου
And these are the sons of Sebegon; Aïe, and Ana; this is the Ana who found Jamin in the wilderness, when he tended the beasts of his father Sebegon [I believe the reading here is "water".]

:: Vulgate: et hii filii Sebeon Ahaia et Anam iste est Ana qui invenit aquas calidas in solitudine cum pasceret asinos Sebeon patris sui
And these the sons of Sebeon: Aia and Ana. This is Ana that found the hot waters in the wilderness, when he fed the asses of Sebeon, his father. [The reading here appears to chamin.]


From: Dictionary of the Bible, by Sir William Smith

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Rachel's Tomb

This week, we read of Rachel's death, but where is Rachel buried? According to Wikipedia (sue me. I'm shorthanding this) Her tomb is found "along the biblical Bethlehem-Ephrath road, adjacent to the Israeli settlement of Gilo at the northern entrance to Bethlehem...This location is mentioned by Jewish travelers since c1300."
But is it the real deal? Here is the word of God as recorded by his prophet in the book of Samuel 1:10:2
"When you leave me today, you will meet two men near Rachel's tomb, at Zelzah on the border of Benjamin. They will say to you, 'The donkeys you set out to look for have been found. And now your father has stopped thinking about them and is worried about you. He is asking, "What shall I do about my son?"
As Saul was traveling from Ephraim, this is likely the northern border of Benjamin. In any case, its not specifying a location within the territory of Judah, which is where the current tomb is located.


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Vayishlach Parsha Questions

Some of what I intend to ask the young 'uns this weekend, at table:

Why does Bethel have two naming stories? Twice we are told that Yaakov named the place "Bethel". Each time he erected a marker, and poured on it some oil, from the flask he conveniently had with him. Why did it happen twice? (Of course this smells like a doublet.)

How can Rashi say Yaakov kept "taryag mitzvos?" Never mind the usual objections (he married sisters, he robbed from Esav, etc.) and instead recall that only a king, woman, kohen, farmer, hybrid could actually fufill all 613 commandments. If it means he kept the "spirit" of the 613 as a Rashi super-commentator says, well, what does that mean, and why would Yaakov need to keep the "spirit" of the a law like "slaughter all the Amalekites" when the Amalakites hadn't yet committed the crime that made the law necessary?

Let's stipulate: All midrashim are true and from Sinai. So did Dina marry Shimon or did she marry Iyov? Both possibilities are represented in the midrashim, and both hang on scriptural pegs. But how can both be true? Obviously, one opinion is wrong. (and compounding the difficulty, if Dina did marry Jo, it follows that 9 different Tannaic guesses about the dates of Job's era are wrong. On BT: Bava Basra 15a, we find the following possibilities advanced. Job was from the time of (1) Moshe, (2) spies (3) Judges (4) Esther (5) David (6) Queen of Sheba (7) Chaldeans, (8) Return from Exiles and (9) Javob. One other opinion says (10) he never lived at all. Clearly, not all of these are correct, which seemingly imperils the typical yeshiva guy's view of the Tannaim and their infallibility.

Let's stipulate: All midrashim are true and from Sinai. On Gen 35:8 Rashi quotes an aggada based on a Greek pun. Are Greek and Hebrew co-Holy? This is not so crazy as it sounds. Go to BT Sanh 76b and you will find a Talmudic debate about the meaning of the following words: ואיש אשר יקח את אשה ואת אמה זמה הוא באש ישרפו אתו ואתהן Rabbi Yishmoel darshens the pasuk -- in fact he learns the Halacha-- based on what a Hebrew word means in Greek. In other words, Rabbi Yishmoel believed that God's law was hidden in a Greek/Hebrew homonym. More


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In which Ibn Ezra puts his shoe on the other foot

Avraham ibn Ezra is justifiably famous for his near-modern view of Biblical anachronisms. At the end of Deuteronomy, he says the last 12 verses of the Torah were written by Joshua. Earlier, he identifies four other verses, or part of verses, that he supposes were added by a later editor - a view that is endorsed by his super-commentary the Tzafnas Paneach, who adds that the Sages, and Prophets were authorized to add glosses and other explanatory notes to the text of the Torah.

This approach to anachronism, of course, is no longer viable in Orthodox Judaism, or as one Rabbi I know put it: I don't think we'd let the Ibn Ezra daven with us.

Perhaps my Rabbi friend will change his mind after I show him how Torah-true Ibn Ezra can be when the spirit grabs him. For example, see what Ibn Ezra has to say about Gen 36:31 which reads "These are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom, before a king reigned for the children of Israel."

The question, first, is obvious. If the Torah was written during Moshe's life, how could anyone say with any certainty that these are the only Edomite Kings that ruled prior to Saul? And indeed a certain Yitzchaki, whose book is now lost, suggests that this chapter was added later, perhaps during the days of Yehoshofat, the father of Joram, the Davidic King who suffered (and lost) the Edomite rebellion.

The ibn Ezra reacts to this speculation with the righteous anger we might expect from a yeshiva guy, declaring that Yitzchaki's book should be burnt, and that "all laugh at him" (a nasty pun on his name.) But what gives? Why does Ibn Ezra deny Yitzchaki a prerogative he takes for himself? Why is he, but no one else, permitted to point out anachronisms?

Kefira notes: It should also be said, that scholarship sees the whole story of Jacob and Esau as an etiological tale developed to explain events recorded in Samuel and Kings. Saul defeats Edom in battle the begining of his reign, and for the next 140 odd years Edom is a vassal state. Scholars speculate that Edomites practiced a religion that was nearly identical to the Israelites and may have had other things in common (thus the two nations are "brothers"). According to the Bible itself, Edom was established as a nation, while Israel was still a collection of tribes (thus Edom is the "older brother") The story of Rivka's oracle, and the stolen birthright, may have been a tidy explanation/justification for Edom's dependency on Israel during the early years of the kingdom. Edom rebelled against the 8th Israelite king, leading to additional speculation that the 8 Edomite kings mentioned in Genesis were intended to represent some parallel in strength, or the idea that power switched between the two states after even increments of time.

Update: Josh Waxman thinks Ibn Ezra objects to the possibility that a whole section might have been added after Moshe. Apparently, he accepts that a few lines of explanation were occasionally needed and provided, but can't allow that later generations added entire narratives. I see the appeal of this suggestion, but don't agree. Of the four anachronisms Ibn Ezra publicly admits, only one adds extra information. The others are just superfluous remarks.

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Sauce for the Goose

Via CA
Looks like the atheists are finally seeing what worked for Christians and Jews: A little indoctrination for their kids. It starts with the camps described here but before long they'll have special atheistic private schools, and if the right-wingers get their way, these G-dless folks will be able to use taxpayer money via school vouchers to indoctrinate their kids. Before long, the missionaries and kiruv clowns will be getting serious competition from the Christopher Hitchens League, and politicians will have to cravenly pretend that, they too, don't believe in God.
This connects to a "be-careful-what-you-wish-for" point I've often made about school vouchers. [Original (107 comments) Summer 2009 re-run (148 comments)]

If they ever go through, every religion and fringe political group will set up their own schools. We'll have atheist schools, Klansmen schools and so on. If history is any guide, some of these non-secular schools will teach their students unfriendly fictions about the Jews. (Pre-Vatican II this was common in Catholic schools.)

Without the moderating presence of students from other faiths and traditions, these insults will go unchallenged. Many non-Jews will grow up being as absolutely certain of Jewish duplicity in the same way that many yeshiva graduates have grown up certain of gentile inferiority.


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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Loss of Innocence

A guest post by HSM

This morning we had an interesting discussion in the twitterverse. My JewCrew and I had been discussing many theological issues since last night, including whether Halacha (Jewish Law) evolves or not. One of my tweeps brought up a valid point about whether certain acts became assur (forbidden) or if they led to a recommendation to not do something. Not technically wrong, but advised to abstain.

The example that was given was connected to marital relations. Sex isn’t supposed to happen in the daylight and is supposed to be performed in a certain way. I am not going to get into details here. These things are not forbidden per se, but [some[ rabbis strongly advise against it. From where was this extrapolated by some meforshim (commentators)? From the Book of Esther. Chapter 5 verse 2.

“The King extended to Esther the golden scepter he was holding. Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter.”

Apparently, according to those meforshim, this is all a euphemism for a particular sexual act that Esther performed with such aplomb that King Achashverosh gave her half his kingdom. *

I sat in my chair shell shocked. This is Queen Esther we are talking about! The Queen who saved us, her people, from being destroyed by the evil Haman!! How can holy rabbis even think to paint her in this negative light? I am not mad at the JewCrew Tweeps. They were just doing what we all always do, passing on knowledge to foster understanding and more conversation. Yes, Queen Esther did what needed to be done in order to save us. I was quite happy sitting in my naïve little bubble thinking that we fasted, she made a feast, ratted Haman the Evil One out, and we were free. The End.

Now my reading of the megillah (scroll, in this case the Book of Esther) will be forever tainted with the idea that the innocent girl that married King Achashverosh in order to save the Jews - was she a wanton hussy schooled in the erotic arts or was she a victim of the whole regime? It must be said that this is ONE of who knows how many explanations and could totally be misinterpreting the whole sentence. But I will never know, and that will now be in my head next Purim and every Purim after.

Why has this thrown me for a loop? It’s been on my mind all day. To me this seems almost sacrilegious. Perhaps it’s because I see myself as named after her in some way? The text calls her “Hadassah”. I guess Esther was her middle name and was used to identify her every subsequent time in the book. Not that I am so holy. I am not. But it’s almost like that moment when you realize your parent is a human being and not quite perfect. That pedestal didn’t seem quite so high after. It seems devastating to me to even think of Esther in a sexual context. Obviously our forefathers and foremothers were intimate with each other, otherwise we wouldn’t be here today. So why am I having such a hard time in dealing with this? Is it because I wonder if God forbid I was called upon to perform such an act to save my kids or my people – would I have the guts to follow through? Or is it because I now see her as perhaps more of a victim than she already was? So disturbed….

*this act was performed in broad daylight and sent the King into such a tizzy that he parted with half his kingdom, which is why we are warned against such behaviour. We don’t want to give away half of what we own for just a few minutes of blissful gratification.



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Demolishing dumb arguments: Jews shouldn't pay school tax

Heard at shul:

Why should Jews pay the school tax? They get almost nothing for it!

My reply: We don't do cafeteria-style taxing in this country. I may not use the park, or the highway, but I still must pay for both. A guy who doesn't use the library still has to pay the tax special library tax, most municipalities impose. A family with one kid pays the same school tax as a family with ten kids. And so on.

If East Ramapo is like every other Jewish town, the Jews are getting textbooks, busing, special ed, speech therapy, use of public school grounds (helpful because Jewish schools rarely have auditoriums or ball fields), and more.

So, while its true the Jews don't get the same benefits as a public school family, they are getting more than elderly grandparents, or childless couples - who also must pay the tax.


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What Maurice Clemmon taught state governors

Cop-killer Maurice Clemmons has taught the nation's governors an important lesson: If you're considering a run for president, show no mercy.

Let me be clear: I don't agree with former presidential aspirant Mike Huckabee's decision, in 2000, to free Clemmons from an Arkansaw jail. I think he made the wrong decision, and I'm especially disturbed by the claim (made here) that Huckabee swung open the prison door as a show of faith in a fellow Christian. But I'm also certain that, going forward, legitimately innocent, and honestly rehabilitated convicts will be denied the generosity Clemmons received.

In our contaminated culture, no governor with presidential ambitions can afford to be characterized as soft on crime. Practically, that means more executions, and fewer commutations and pardons. It means that people much more deserving of a break then Clemmons, will not receive one. This preference for "toughness", which is really a preference for obtuseness and rigidness, represents a hardening of the American heart, and an elbowing out of values like mercy and compassion. Why don't we instead favor governors who show good judgement, and a willingness to consider new evidence, and to reward good behavior. What does this preference for inflexibility say about our national values?

Nothing good, I'm afraid. And after Clemmons it will only get worse.


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That is how the game is played

A guest post by TikunOlam

I have a year until I make my first Bar Mitzvah. And I have been stressing over it for years already. And it isn't about the planning. Because I affiliate CJ and our families are OJ on both sides, we have some big decisions to make. We can either hold the Bar Mitzvah on the shabbos of my son's actual birthday and risk losing relatives or we can hold it on a Monday of a nearby holiday weekend and lose some of our close friends, who have become like family of choice, because this holiday weekend is a very popular time of year to go on vacation. We decided that since it is my son's Bar Mitzvah, he can make the choice. He has many Bat Mitzvahs to go to this year and after a few months he will know what he wants to do. It is a no win situation really, so I want to make sure it is about him, not our family (who for the most part can't even bare to have a conversation with us about religion) and it is not about our friends.

Recently I got into a conversation regarding trusting kashrut with an OJ friend. I have no idea how it turned into a conversation about kashrut at the Bar Mitzvah. The friend mentioned how s/he hates being the one who gets the different kosher meal while others eat the meals that are served. I explained that our shul only serves kosher food and we have a halachic rabbi who also happens to be one the biggest menches I know. S/he said that it is uncomfortable to be the one wearing obvious OJ gear and eat the meal served. I explained that in my shul everyone is also dressed in shul attire, kippot for the men, skirts for the women. S/he wouldn't stand out as being different in any way.

To which I got, Tik, come on, you know how the game is played. And paraphrasing here, it was explained to me that what s/he eats would depend on the "situation."

Before people jump on me and say, "well you left, you have to accept the way the OJ world works." I will turn it right back on you and say, "don't you live a life on the exterior that reflects what you believe inside?" That is all I do. And if you don't, that's not my problem and I just hope that you are happy with your choices.

Our family has bent over backwards to be respectful to our OJ relatives. We would never dream of even asking if we could come just for one day of Yom Tov. We dress to OJ standards in their shuls, buy Glatt kosher food and eat on paper when we host them at our home(though my kitchen is kosher, but they don't trust it). The males of my family wear kippot in their presence, we wish them good shabbos all the time, even though we are not shabbos observers.

But the way the game is played? What does that mean? If a grown person calls it a game and raised their kids to "play the game" what does it accomplish exactly? A bunch of game playing OJs who can't eat at a kosher CJ Bar Mitzvah because of appearances and it is not what OJs do? And because of this "game" I am really going to have to buy Meal Mart airplane food for my OJ guests just because they can't trust us, our rabbi or the kosher caterer?

Honestly, I hate the games. They are divisive and political. They have no basis in Torah or Halacha. My rabbi is a Shomer Shabbat Jew. His kashrut standards can be trusted. And if you accept that and believe that but you have me order a Meal Mart meal just to keep up appearances and make sure everyone knows that you are not one of "us," well, I think I have a right to have a reaction to that. I'll supply the Meal Mart meals of course and not do it with any fuss. But I will resent that it is about politics, not halacha and that exhibiting a separateness from my world by playing games is more important than finding out the facts, being that the food is kosher, that the Shomer Shabbos rabbi of our shul ensures that it is so, and it is simply appearances that would keep an OJ from eating the food.

Honestly, I am currently annoyed at the messenger. I don't even really feel like talking to him/her right now. I am tired of all of this and it makes me wonder what I am setting myself and my children up for, by allowing them to be surrounded by people in our lives that can't even bare to talk about our choices and why we made them, and specifically be contrary just to prove that somehow they are "more religious" than our rabbi. We have always been the black sheep of the family and yes, it was our "choice." But I don't accept that politics and appearances should be the deciding factor with regards to decisions that OJs make.


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