It's funny because it's true
Hey, sometimes hashkafah.com makes you laugh on purpose:
Would Yeshivish People Date Anyone In The Torah? (abridged)
by Sultan Knish
Avraham - he seems to be frum but really he's a BT and his father made idols, not our kind...
Yitzchak - well his grandfather made idols, there was all that nastiness with Lot and his half brother is an arab..
Yosef - His mother had an idol once and she died early, plus he's a slave and his brothers don't like him, must be something in that..
Moshe - His parents seperated, then they got back together, his parents abandoned him, put him in a basket, he was raised by goyim... not our kind for sure.
King David - Descended from a convert, not our kind of people. Sure a few generations have gone by but all things being equal shouldn't we look for someone with a more 'jewish' background?
Shlomo - See above, also his mother's marriage was very dubious, he is rich though but the yichus and family background is very tricky.