Tuesday, March 01, 2005

In Praise of Men

As I write this, thousands of men are gathered to celebrate the completion of the 11th cycle of the Daf HaYomi.

I'm in awe.

Previous generations of men needed to dream up elaborate excuses like hunting to escape their domestic obligations. But hunting is work, and sort of athletic, so this missed the point. The guys concluding the Daf HaYomi today are on to a much better scam: They get out of the house, too, but all they have to do is sit at a table and feign interest.

Meanwhile their wives are at home, doing laundry, many of them filled with pride that their husbands are sitting at a table somewhere, and feigning interest.

For the men, it's quite a good deal, but not quite as good as it could be. I mean, there's still the inconvenience of feigning interest. Here's my solution.

When I have some money, I am going to open a bar, which I will call "Learn." This way, my friends and neighbors can, with complete honesty, say to their wives: "Sorry honey, can't help with the laundry, tonight. I'm going to Learn."

And, because our wives all have the benefit of a Bays Yackov brainwashing education, they will not object. In fact, they will be proud. Boastful, even. "My husband goes to Learn," they will say, as their fingers grow numb from folding. "It is a privilege to do his laundry."

In other words, the joke will be on them. Again.

The only possible hitch is if the wives read this blog. Conveniently, blog-reading is an activity discouraged by Bays Yaakov educators, and also the wives still have all that folding to do, so, I think we're safe, meaning we men will be free to sit and enjoy each others company without some Daf Yomi instructor droning in the background.