Wednesday, June 26, 2013

More Three Weeks Tragedies

by @ The Agudath Israel of America 

In a long line of insults and attacks on the Jewish people comes this new war on holiness and sanctity. Today the Supreme Court knocked down DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act and California's Proposition 8, paving the way for legal homogaysex marriage across this once G-d fearing country.

Read the Supreme Court's decision here (and weep):

We now recommend that all Jews obtain storm, wind, and flooding insurance since lots of hurricanes, tornadoes, and tsunamis are sure to hit all of us.

In the next week or so we will be issuing a new Kinah to be recited by Achenu Bnei Yisroel lamenting this new catastrophe.

Please keep your daughters indoors at all times since we fully expect caravans of lesbians to be out on recruitment patrol. Additionally, you must be vigilant in keeping an eye on your sons. If there is the slightest hint that he may turn homogaysexual  PLEASE report him to your nearest orthodox rabbi. If he has briefs that are any other color than white or black or if he begins buying ties with floral prints or if  his voice starts to get a bit too soft REPORT him.

Now that this marriage can be legal, family life of straight people is over as we know it. Once marriage is legal  nobody will will want to marry someone of the opposite sex anymore. That's science.

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