Sign of the Times

By Sarah

Greetings, Bearlings. I am flattered and honored to be a guest blogger here at Dov Bear.

For my first guest post, I'd like to share this unbelievable dating story I heard from the woman in question at a Shabbat meal yesterday in Jerusalem . . .

I'll call her Rena, though that is not her name. She is a 35-year-old native Israeli living in Jerusalem. She and I were guests at the same Shabbat table, and this is her story:

She was, very recently, set up on a blind date with a man who is 45. They had a nice conversation on the phone, and arranged to meet at a cafe. On the night of the date, she carefully arranged her hair and put on nice makeup. She changed her outfit several times, wanting to look special. She hadn't had a date for a while. It's not easy, being single, female and 35.

When she showed up at the cafe, the gentleman was sitting at a table with another woman, who seemed to be in her twenties. The man introduced the two women to each other, and for the rest of the evening, the three of them sat there, getting to know each other. It turned out that the man thought he could kill two birds with one stone by scheduling dates with two women at the same time.

A few days later, the man called Rena. She found out that this had been his second date with the other woman. Rena said "So, what, you want to marry both of us?" The man said "I wanted to go out more with her, but now she does not want to go out with me." (Duh)

And then he asked Rena if he could call her again. Oh, yes, he did!

But here is the kicker. Rena is so desperate . . . her standards have become so low . . . that she is actually thinking about going out with this man again. To me, that is the craziest part. That a woman could be so beaten by the dating world that she is trying to convince herself that maybe this man is worth seeing again, since he's asking, is, to me, the craziest and saddest part of the whole story.

We recommended to Rena that she go out again, and arrange with a male friend to go with her, so she, too, can schedule another "date" for the same time.

But, really, the fact that she didn't walk out of the cafe as soon as she realized what is going on is, for me, the most telling part of the tale. She's attractive, intelligent, and socially competent, and yet she has gotten so little from men, that she's stopped expecting anything more than to be trod upon.