Update:
Since a lot of nuance can be lost in the blogesphere it seems I've misinterpreted respondingtojblogs indentity crisis by being overly defensive on the MO side of things (see what a righteous convert I've become!) Please read his comments to better understand where he is coming from before responding to my post. I still feel that my post has merit on it's own (although not as a direct response to "responding") so I will leave it up in tact.
-Shifra
There has been a bit of discussion going on my blog shameless plug regarding this comment from “respondingtojblogs.”
I first confronted my MO identity crisis when I posted a profile on Frumster. I put myself down as MO, but I am from a very Yeshivish background (through high school). I felt that there is no way I can justify calling myself Yeshivish. While the Frumster profile has gone away, my crisis as it is has not. I think I am MO by default although I don't subscribe to its dogma.
My question is- am I full of crap if I wonder if I should change my kippa type from Yeshivish velvet to the supercool MO crochet? Does that show that my transformation was for cosmetic purposes only?
Before we get to the externals ie your choice of headwear, it is interesting to me that you consider yourself MO by default. Since you claim not to subscribe to the MO dogma by which I assume you mean valuing secular knowledge, Zionism, torah u’maddah, etc… I can only assume you mean that you are not as observant of mitzvos (or perhaps chumros) as you used to be. This to me is not a sign that you have become MO at all, only that you feel you have become less observant and now feel that you identify more with the less observant MO crowd (who seem more at ease with their laxity) than the less observant UO crowd who hide their lack of observance (Fakers) or flaunt it in an odd way (Yeshiva Bums, see also Hockers.)
Ok with that out of the way the next order of business is to choose how you want other people to see you. While I FIRMLY believe that kippot, hats, etc… are purely external matters of fashion with no intrinsic value (unless they affect the way you behave while wearing them) they do affect people’s perception of you. My husband, a lifelong srugah wearer discovered a few years ago that black velvet yarmulkes cost about $6 whereas srugot cost about $25. Because he is um… frugal… he bought a few to see if he could make the switch. It did get a big reaction around town and in the end he decided he was more comfortable with his old look. If you feel that you now are more aligned with the MO crowd these days and want to identify yourself that way, go ahead, but in the end it’s more important to be true to yourself than to try to force yourself into an image that doesn’t really fit.
