Book VI

Oh God in heaven, when will this end?
The Book of Esther
Perak Vav

That night, Ach couldn’t sleep. Rashi, his gift for the obvious on display, says the king was hung-over.

Done, for now, with the vomiting, Ach called for a bedtime story. But the king was tired of My Little Goat and he asked for something new.

The servants decided to read about the special favors that had been performed for the king. Soon, they got to story of Mudcha ratting out Bigsan and Teresh. The king asked what reward Mudcha had received. The servants said nothing. The king sat upright in bed and announced that something really fantabulous must be done for the man who saved the king’s life.

"OK", the servant suggested, "Let's ply him with riches," to which the King replied, "Is his middle name Haliburton?"

The servant next pointed out that Mudcha was a Jew, and suggested it might be nice to spare him from the upcoming genocide. However, the king felt that Mudcha would want to be a good sport and participate so that idea was also rejected.

It so happened that at this precise, exact moment (Rashi: It was a miracle. Rashbam: Snort!) Haman was walking past the palace. The King saw him and asked for his help, noting that riches were definitely off the table unless someone else wanted to be the donor. Haman, who had always wanted a pony, suggested that the man be given a horsy ride around the city in silly, colorful clothes.

“Great idea!” said the king. “And inexpensive!”

So Haman dressed Mudcha in ridiculously loud clothing and paraded him around the city on a horsy. Not being a seven-year old, Mudcha thought this was quite a lousy reward.

And, to make matters worse, Haman wouldn't let him keep the fabulous clothes.

To be continued.

By AP Kores
Edited by DovBear