Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Staged or real?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Will the real Ark please stand up…..
submitted by david a.
As I have posted several times, the compelling argument (to me at least) that the Torah is
a composite of multi-authored sources is the fact that the book is replete with dozens of
contradictions, notwithstanding the explanations provided by the sages and commentators
in their attempts to reconcile these contradictions. The most blatant are the dozens of
examples found in Devarim that disagree with the corresponding event or commandment
found in the rest of Chumash
This week’s parsha provides an excellent example of this.
Ex. 25:10+ describes a beautiful, ornate ark that God commands Moses to built as
one of the major components of the Sanctuary (Mishkan), wherein he is to house the
Testimonial Tablets (note the name assigned to these tablets)
In Devarim (Deut 10:1-5), we find an (apparent) corresponding command whereby God
tells Moses to build an ark to house the Tablets, (the Tablets which in other parts of the
narrative are referred to as Covenantal Tablets, already a contradiction). He text reads:
1. At that time God said to me: “Carve for yourself two stones tablets like
the first ones, and ascend to Me to the mountain and make a wooden ark for
yourself. 2. And I shall inscribe on the tablets the words that were on the
first tablets, that you smashed and you shall place them in the ark.” 3. So
I made an ark of cedar wood and I carved out two stone tablets like the first
ones. Then I ascended the mountain with the two tablets in my hand. 4. He
inscribed on the tablets according to the script, the Ten Statements that God
spoke to you on the mountain from the midst of the fire on the day of the
congregation, and He gave them to me. 5. I turned and descended from the
mountain and I placed the tablets in the ark that I made and they remained
there as God had commanded.
The contradiction is blatant. Here the ark is a simple wood box, not the ornate gold-
covered ark of Exodus. Now, of course the sages were well aware of the contradiction
and resolved the issue by stating simply enough, that this ark was only temporary. And
that the tablets were transferred to the ornate one once the Mishkan was completed.
But, its not very satisfying.
First, because the Torah does not say this at all. The text is quite clear. “ they remained
there”. There is no indication of the temporary nature of this ark.
Secondly, and much more compelling is that given that the Torah is supposed to be a
very concise book and is very particular about its wordage, how is it that Devarim tells us
about an unimportant temporary box and yet completely and totally omits any reference
to the Mishkan or any of its components. To me it seems that author of Devarim had a
different oral tradition about events in the Midbar. Specifically, he had no tradition of a
Mishkan. This tghought is further supported by Deut 10:8
At that time, God set apart the tribe of Levi to carry the Ark of the
Covenant of God, to stand before God to minister to Him and to bless in
His name until this very day.
No mention that Levites transported a Mishkan.
Search for more information about XXX at 4torah.com
Support the pathetic annual telethon by making a donation toward the upkeep of this blog
Buy one of the books that changed the way I think
As I have posted several times, the compelling argument (to me at least) that the Torah is
a composite of multi-authored sources is the fact that the book is replete with dozens of
contradictions, notwithstanding the explanations provided by the sages and commentators
in their attempts to reconcile these contradictions. The most blatant are the dozens of
examples found in Devarim that disagree with the corresponding event or commandment
found in the rest of Chumash
This week’s parsha provides an excellent example of this.
Ex. 25:10+ describes a beautiful, ornate ark that God commands Moses to built as
one of the major components of the Sanctuary (Mishkan), wherein he is to house the
Testimonial Tablets (note the name assigned to these tablets)
In Devarim (Deut 10:1-5), we find an (apparent) corresponding command whereby God
tells Moses to build an ark to house the Tablets, (the Tablets which in other parts of the
narrative are referred to as Covenantal Tablets, already a contradiction). He text reads:
1. At that time God said to me: “Carve for yourself two stones tablets like
the first ones, and ascend to Me to the mountain and make a wooden ark for
yourself. 2. And I shall inscribe on the tablets the words that were on the
first tablets, that you smashed and you shall place them in the ark.” 3. So
I made an ark of cedar wood and I carved out two stone tablets like the first
ones. Then I ascended the mountain with the two tablets in my hand. 4. He
inscribed on the tablets according to the script, the Ten Statements that God
spoke to you on the mountain from the midst of the fire on the day of the
congregation, and He gave them to me. 5. I turned and descended from the
mountain and I placed the tablets in the ark that I made and they remained
there as God had commanded.
The contradiction is blatant. Here the ark is a simple wood box, not the ornate gold-
covered ark of Exodus. Now, of course the sages were well aware of the contradiction
and resolved the issue by stating simply enough, that this ark was only temporary. And
that the tablets were transferred to the ornate one once the Mishkan was completed.
But, its not very satisfying.
First, because the Torah does not say this at all. The text is quite clear. “ they remained
there”. There is no indication of the temporary nature of this ark.
Secondly, and much more compelling is that given that the Torah is supposed to be a
very concise book and is very particular about its wordage, how is it that Devarim tells us
about an unimportant temporary box and yet completely and totally omits any reference
to the Mishkan or any of its components. To me it seems that author of Devarim had a
different oral tradition about events in the Midbar. Specifically, he had no tradition of a
Mishkan. This tghought is further supported by Deut 10:8
At that time, God set apart the tribe of Levi to carry the Ark of the
Covenant of God, to stand before God to minister to Him and to bless in
His name until this very day.
No mention that Levites transported a Mishkan.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Purim Contest from Oh Nuts!
Purim Contest from Oh Nuts!
Three ways to enter and win:
1. Go to the Oh Nuts Purim Basket Gift page. Choose your favorite Purim Gift and leave a comment on la blog with the name and url of the gift you like best.
I will pick a random winner (based on spelling and diction) who will receive a $30 gift Oh Nuts! certificate.
2. Go to the Oh Nuts facebook page become a fan and post the url and name of your favorite Purim Gift Basket .
You must also write "I am here via DOVBEAR:
Oh Nuts will pick the winner
3. Follow @ohnuts on Twitter and Tweet:
"Win a Purim Basket from http://bit.ly/aWXLzp! Follow @ohnuts and RT to Enter Daily "
Oh Nuts will pick the winner
Three ways to enter and win:
1. Go to the Oh Nuts Purim Basket Gift page. Choose your favorite Purim Gift and leave a comment on la blog with the name and url of the gift you like best.
I will pick a random winner (based on spelling and diction) who will receive a $30 gift Oh Nuts! certificate.
2. Go to the Oh Nuts facebook page become a fan and post the url and name of your favorite Purim Gift Basket .
You must also write "I am here via DOVBEAR:
Oh Nuts will pick the winner
3. Follow @ohnuts on Twitter and Tweet:
"Win a Purim Basket from http://bit.ly/aWXLzp! Follow @ohnuts and RT to Enter Daily "
Oh Nuts will pick the winner
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Trumah
Is there a duller parsha*? And I say this as someone who does not dislike HGTV. Still, all that endless detail about hooks and rings and curtains... it's a little much, no? Two thoughts come back to me every year as I suffer through the tedium:
- If you're a low life apikores seeking some confirmation that the Sages were not like you and me, consider this: Not only did the great men of Jewish letters survive several readings of Trumah, they also composed skillfully brilliant interpretations of it.
- Might Robert Alter be right? He speculates that the construction descriptions were actually exciting to ancient audiences, perhaps because they enjoyed hearing about the lavish accouterments. In his analysis, Terumah is shelter porn
* Yes, there is: Pekudei
Friday, February 24, 2012
Fighting to protect your country is against the Torah!
A guest post by Philo
Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach has come out strongly against the decision of Israel's supreme court to strike down the Tal law (which allowed Yeshiva students to avoid army duty.)
He declared that the decision was a
After all, in ancient times no men fought in Shaul, David, & Shlomo's armies. They sat and pretended to learn instead and the Davidic dynasty never reigned.
No one fought against Amalek when they attacked. They hung out smoking outside the mishkan. Our ancestors were all killed in the desert. We Jews are obviously are a figment of someone's imagination.
No one fought against the Pelishtim. They were all too busy spitting on little girls who were just trying to watch their fathers' sheep. The Pelishtim then overran the cities of Judea and established the ancient grand empire of Philistinia.
No one fought alongside Judah Maccabee. They just sat around playing dreidel, claiming that such play was really what protected Bnei Yisrael. That's why today, instead of lighting something called a chanukiyah, we honor the gods with the winter holiday of Brumalia.
Yup - fighting to protect your people? TOTALLY not Jewish!
Search for more information about selfishly abandoning your fellow citizens in the name of Torah at 4torah.com Support the pathetic annual telethon by making a donation toward the upkeep of this blog Buy one of the books that changed the way I think
Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach has come out strongly against the decision of Israel's supreme court to strike down the Tal law (which allowed Yeshiva students to avoid army duty.)
He declared that the decision was a
"terrible gzeira that strikes a blow at the heart of Judaism… a gzeira that uproots religion."Yes, it goes against every bit of Judaism.
After all, in ancient times no men fought in Shaul, David, & Shlomo's armies. They sat and pretended to learn instead and the Davidic dynasty never reigned.
No one fought against Amalek when they attacked. They hung out smoking outside the mishkan. Our ancestors were all killed in the desert. We Jews are obviously are a figment of someone's imagination.
No one fought against the Pelishtim. They were all too busy spitting on little girls who were just trying to watch their fathers' sheep. The Pelishtim then overran the cities of Judea and established the ancient grand empire of Philistinia.
No one fought alongside Judah Maccabee. They just sat around playing dreidel, claiming that such play was really what protected Bnei Yisrael. That's why today, instead of lighting something called a chanukiyah, we honor the gods with the winter holiday of Brumalia.
Yup - fighting to protect your people? TOTALLY not Jewish!
Oprah can hardly conceal her surprise
Oprah meets a black Jew and can't quite wrap her head around it... and her expression belies... what? confusion?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
PSA
Remember the marvelous Jewish stories you read growing up? Were Rivkah and Hadassah your heroes? Enjoyed the Yiddish writings of Sholom Aleichem and Isaac Bashevis Singer? Imagined yourself as a contemporary Jewish writing star for children, like Datia Ben-Dor, Shmuel Blitz, or Goldie Golding? Well here is your opportunity!
JewishStoryWriting.com wants to crown the next literary giant in the field of Jewish literature and they are offering four short story contests. The first is the “Early Childhood Story Contest”, for which on top of the cash prize, the first place winner may get their story illustrated and published! Competing stories are geared for ages 3-7. The second is a short story for tweens, ages 8-12. The third is a general short story contest and the fourth is a Jewish poetry contest. Submit a previously unpublished work with original Jewish content. Prizes are as high as $250 - $500, but winners also benefit from the prestige of winning one of these very competitive contests, and may receive the opportunity to have their story published in the annual JewishStoryWriting.com Anthology!
Entries cost $25 and you can receive a further critique of your work for $35. All submissions must be received by March 15th, 2012. For more details, visit thecontest site.
Nees!
Well spotted by an alert reader! This actual Discover card ad has been doctored by Taliban-types for use on a Torah site.
Israel invalidates Haredi Military exemptions
Excellent news out of Israel for civil war enthusiasts: The Israeli Supreme Court has invalidated a law that exempted from military service ultra-Orthodox Jews engaged in religious studies, adding a new urgency to the government’s negotiations with religious parties over a more equitable distribution of the burdens of citizenship.
Money quote:
Search for more information about Tzipi Livni at 4torah.com
Support the pathetic annual telethon by making a donation toward the upkeep of this blog
Buy one of the books that changed the way I think
Money quote:
Tzipi Livni, head of the centrist Kadima Party and leader of the opposition, said: “Justice has been done. Social justice comes from equal sharing of the burden. Tomorrow, we will initiate a set of bills that require service of all — either military, national or civilian service.Of course, the Haredim are already telling themselves that the Zionists have it exactly backwards. As per the famous parable, the exact details of which I forget, it is really Torah learning and prayers that protect Israel, not the earning of money or the fighting of wars. So good luck Tzipi Livni.
She continued, “We will not permit the Zionist majority to become a minority that carries everyone else on its back.”
Monday, February 20, 2012
Title Inflation?
A current article on one of the dimwitted daas Torah blogs refers to Rav Elyashiv, may he live and be well, as "Maran Posek HaDor HaGaon HaRav Yosef Sholom Elyashiv Shlita"
Such a mouthful. Did we refer to Rav Moshe this way? What about the Chofetz Chaim, or any of the Rishonim? I honestly don't know and (paging S) would love to find out.
New York Times Bearish on Israeli Attack on Iran
Iran Raid Seen as a Huge Task for Israeli Jets
By ELISABETH BUMILLER
An attack would take at least 100 planes, American defense officials and military analysts said, and take far more time than earlier strikes on nuclear sites in Syria and Iraq. Read the article
I don't want to give away any state secrets, but Israel isn't going to attack Iran. (Sorry, war starved jingoists) There are too many consequences, and too many reasons why a bombing raid might fail.
By ELISABETH BUMILLER
An attack would take at least 100 planes, American defense officials and military analysts said, and take far more time than earlier strikes on nuclear sites in Syria and Iraq. Read the article
I don't want to give away any state secrets, but Israel isn't going to attack Iran. (Sorry, war starved jingoists) There are too many consequences, and too many reasons why a bombing raid might fail.
Instead, I expect Iranian nuclear scientist to continue to disappear, while Israel continues to find creative ways to sabotage the project. Lots of ways to skin a cat.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Peek a Jew: Which one doesn't belong?
That's Meir Solivetchik being sworn in to testify about the president's plan to require free insurance coverage of contraceptives for women. (As you can see from the photo no women were invited to testify before the Republican led committee. The radicals of Bet Shemesh would be pleased)
Here is how the Times reported Reb Meir's participation
“The putative accommodation is no accommodation at all,” said the rabbi, Meir Soloveichik of Yeshiva University and Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun in New York City. “Religious organizations would still be obligated to provide employees with an insurance policy that facilitates acts violating the organization’s religious tenets.”
Two comments:
(1) Judaism allows contraception. This isn't our fight. Instead of cozying up to the Christians, by making their arguments for them, Rabbi S should have stayed home. When the president proposes something that might cause a JEWISH organization to violate its own tenets, then Rabbi S can have the fun of appearing before Congress.
(2) These people are all screaming hypocrites: John Stewart says it best
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Today's sign of the apocalypse: Frum women talk sex with Oprah
Media mogul meets with religious women in Brooklyn to discuss Jewish lifestyle, sexual practices
and to think, in some frum communities the mere act of appearing on camera would be ruled immodest.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Do We Really Want to Be Storming the Heavens?
A Guest Post by Dovid Shlomo
With all the calls for us to "Storm the Heavens," as in "Yidden are storming the heavens to grant rachamim as four gedolim are now hospitalized," (http://matzav.com/four-gedolim-now-hospitalized) and "Let us all, wherever and whoever we are, storm the heavens on February 20" (http://www.aish.com/sp/pr/48949341.html), I decided to find something out about the origin of the phrase.
Seems like it comes from here: http://vocationstory.blogspot.com/2009/03/storm-novena-prayer.html
What is a Storm Novena?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Did y'all hear about this? Bashar Assad's email
Report:
Here are my takeaway points:
- Maybe Israel's military and political victories over these morons aren't really so impressive. Per the article, several top Syrian officials used 1234 as their account password. For realskie. This is a little like protecting your national borders with marshmallows, or supplying your navy with ships constructed from sugar. For all I know, Syria does this, too.
- The arrogance of these idiots takes my breath away. We're easily manipulated? A tired recitation of cliches such as "mistakes were made" is enough to wash away a career of blood crimes? And, IIRC, some Israelis share this low opinion of Americans. They also think we're bland, uneducated dopes, who'll fall for any hack PR gambit.
- Which is not to say their stereotype is inaccurate. The blank-eyed simpletons you see on the Simpsons or Parks and Rec really do exist. There are people, eg., right-wing Christians, who salivate reliably every time the Pavlovian culture war bells are rung. The objection isn't that the Syrians are inaccurate, just that they use too wide a brush.
Adventures in The Code of Hammurabi
A Guest Post By E. Fink
As a general rule, orthodox Jewish rabbis and teachers pretend that Bible Criticism does not exist. This is not necessarily a conscious choice, rather it was a choice made on their behalf over a century ago. The ugly result of this decision is that when the orthodox Jew encounters BibCrit he is left without any tools or foreknowledge to handle the issues and in a sense one can be blindsided by basic observations made in BibCrit. This, in turn, can take a disastrous toll on one's beliefs in Torah and God.
One of the few exceptions to this rule in Rabbi J.H. Hertz. In his Chumash, R' Hertz has several essays that, at least on a basic level, deal with some of the challenges raised by BibCrit. Some of the BibCrit he cites is outdated and some of his approach is also outdated. But it is still worth understanding and appreciating his efforts.
One major BibCrit challenge surrounds this week's parsha, Mishpatim. In the Parsha, the Jewish people are taught the basic outline of their Civil Code. The parsha discusses property, chattel, damages, loans, and other seemingly non-religious laws. The issue is that there is an earlier code that precedes this Mosaic code of Parshas Mishpatim, The Code of Hammurabi.
Why [Anonymous] Will Be Skipping the Siyum HaShas
A Guest Post By ANONYMOUS:
With great fanfare and aggressive advertising, the Agudah has recently begun the process of making seats to this summer's siyum hashas at Metlife stadium available. Selling out that ennormous venue would be a monumental feat. After much thought, however, I decided that I won't be among those in attendance at what promises to be a memorable event. This will be the first siyum I will miss since I was old enough to appreciate what the event represents. If I had to explain why, I'd do so with 6 words: "the previous one and the convention."
Seven years ago, I headed to Madison Square Garden just as I had done twice before in the previous 15 years, to bask on the glory of Torah and those who learn it with great commitment and sacrifice. I was excited as I recalled feeling like I had tasted gan eden on my previous trips and assumed this time would be no different. But different it was.
The last siyum brought us a collection of uninspiring speeches from people who had no business speaking at a celebration of the daf hayomi. Roshei Yeshiva, notorious for using the term "daf yomi" as an insult (anyone that ever learned in yeshiva knows exactly what I mean) were honored with addressing the very people they spend years degrading. One such individual launched into what seemed like a never-ending pilpul. Another yeshiva leader went on a tirade against Rabbi Slifkin, calling him and those who supported him "midgets". Word quickly spread that he travelled to Philadelphia the following day to ask mechilla from Reb Shmuel Kaminetzky, who had written a haskama for one of the Slifkin books. Whatever you may think of the Slifkin controversy, the siyum hashas was not the place to address it.
Political considerations and concern for fragile egos led Agudah to put too many speakers on the program, very few of whom had any connection to the daf. The program was too long, uninspiring and, frankly, flat out offensive. Other than a magestic performance by Chazzan Helfgott, the evening was a disappointment beyond words. When it finally and mercifully ended well into the night, I left the arena with feelings of anger. I felt as if someone had deprived me of the inspiration I came eagerly anticipating.
Sadly, I have no reason to believe this siyum will be any better than the previous one was. In the seven years since the previous siyum, egos have not shrunk, politics have not given way to yiras shamayim, and respect for ballabatim and lomdei daf yomi has not exactly increased within the yeshiva world. As the Agudah convention demonstrated, the leaders of the yeshiva world who share Agudah's pholosophy have only become emboldened in their fight against the outside world (you know, the one we all live in) and sharper in their personal attacks against people - and gadgets - they deem outside of their worldview. The speeches were angry, personal (Slifkin again) and at times flat out bizarre (remember the Internet cafe idea?). I fear that the siyum will be the embarrassing spectacle that the convention was and nothing has been said or done to indicate otherwise.
I wish Agudah would release the program for the siyum in advance of (or concurrent with) ticket sales, like it does with the convention. If I knew who the scheduled speakers were and what topics they will be asked to address, I could better evaluate whether it appeals to me. But at this stage, given the recent convention and the regrettable debacle of the previous siyum, I can't afford to take my chances.
At the last siyum, I walked in looking to be inspired and walked out feeling cheated and insulted. I won't risk that happening again.
Search for more information about Siyum HaShas at 4torah.com
Support the pathetic annual telethon by making a donation toward the upkeep of this blog
Buy one of the books that changed the way I think
With great fanfare and aggressive advertising, the Agudah has recently begun the process of making seats to this summer's siyum hashas at Metlife stadium available. Selling out that ennormous venue would be a monumental feat. After much thought, however, I decided that I won't be among those in attendance at what promises to be a memorable event. This will be the first siyum I will miss since I was old enough to appreciate what the event represents. If I had to explain why, I'd do so with 6 words: "the previous one and the convention."
Seven years ago, I headed to Madison Square Garden just as I had done twice before in the previous 15 years, to bask on the glory of Torah and those who learn it with great commitment and sacrifice. I was excited as I recalled feeling like I had tasted gan eden on my previous trips and assumed this time would be no different. But different it was.
The last siyum brought us a collection of uninspiring speeches from people who had no business speaking at a celebration of the daf hayomi. Roshei Yeshiva, notorious for using the term "daf yomi" as an insult (anyone that ever learned in yeshiva knows exactly what I mean) were honored with addressing the very people they spend years degrading. One such individual launched into what seemed like a never-ending pilpul. Another yeshiva leader went on a tirade against Rabbi Slifkin, calling him and those who supported him "midgets". Word quickly spread that he travelled to Philadelphia the following day to ask mechilla from Reb Shmuel Kaminetzky, who had written a haskama for one of the Slifkin books. Whatever you may think of the Slifkin controversy, the siyum hashas was not the place to address it.
Political considerations and concern for fragile egos led Agudah to put too many speakers on the program, very few of whom had any connection to the daf. The program was too long, uninspiring and, frankly, flat out offensive. Other than a magestic performance by Chazzan Helfgott, the evening was a disappointment beyond words. When it finally and mercifully ended well into the night, I left the arena with feelings of anger. I felt as if someone had deprived me of the inspiration I came eagerly anticipating.
Sadly, I have no reason to believe this siyum will be any better than the previous one was. In the seven years since the previous siyum, egos have not shrunk, politics have not given way to yiras shamayim, and respect for ballabatim and lomdei daf yomi has not exactly increased within the yeshiva world. As the Agudah convention demonstrated, the leaders of the yeshiva world who share Agudah's pholosophy have only become emboldened in their fight against the outside world (you know, the one we all live in) and sharper in their personal attacks against people - and gadgets - they deem outside of their worldview. The speeches were angry, personal (Slifkin again) and at times flat out bizarre (remember the Internet cafe idea?). I fear that the siyum will be the embarrassing spectacle that the convention was and nothing has been said or done to indicate otherwise.
I wish Agudah would release the program for the siyum in advance of (or concurrent with) ticket sales, like it does with the convention. If I knew who the scheduled speakers were and what topics they will be asked to address, I could better evaluate whether it appeals to me. But at this stage, given the recent convention and the regrettable debacle of the previous siyum, I can't afford to take my chances.
At the last siyum, I walked in looking to be inspired and walked out feeling cheated and insulted. I won't risk that happening again.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Kutchers opens a restaurant... and I dislike the NYT review
Not every nacht is Kristelnach, as Leon Weiseltier once put it, which I take to mean: Not every thing is Antisemitism. You can oppose anti-intellectualism and superstition without being an degenerate hater of Hasidim. You can think colonialism and apartheid suck without being an Enemy of the State of Israel. And I suppose you can disdain gefilte fish on the pages of the New York Times without being a Nazi.
Still, it won't surprise you to learn, some people thought Pete Wells' review of Kutsher''s Tribeca carried a whiff of Jew-hatred. What may surprise you is that I sort of agree.
Lines I did not like:
Search for more information about Kutchers! at 4torah.com
Still, it won't surprise you to learn, some people thought Pete Wells' review of Kutsher''s Tribeca carried a whiff of Jew-hatred. What may surprise you is that I sort of agree.
Lines I did not like:
- It was opened in November by Zach Kutsher, whose family owns a faded Borscht Belt resort famous for stand-up shtick in the ballroom and eat-til-you-plotz meals in the dining room. REASON: Stereotype
- When Mr. Kutsher told an interviewer that he hoped to continue the Catskills tradition “in a really modern, fun, hip, downtown kind of way,” it sounded so unlikely, that only one explanation made any sense. The place must have been designed to fail. REASON Sure, because what could possibly be cool about Jewish stuff?
- Strangest of all, everybody seems to be having a good time. REASON: Jews (or even non-Jews) having a good time, eating Jewish food, is strange?
- Well, maybe not the ones who order the gefilte fish. REASON: Obviously, only a moron would like gefilte fish.
- Kutsher’s turns all the jokes about Jewish cooking upside down. Which is to say: The food here’s not bad. And such big portions! REASON: Stereotype
After these (un) pleasantries Wells settled down and delivered a solid restaurant review.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Evidence of female leadership in ancient shuls?
Facebook may be a place where bored housewives waste time, but this morning the famous Rabbi Josh Yuter injected some scholarship by posting a monograph that claims women held leadership roles in ancient synagogues.
You'll want to read it, I'm sure, but just in case you're lazy here are some take away points:
- Headstones, "donative inscriptions", and other artifacts have been found in which women are identified as "head of the synagogue", "leader", "mother of the synagogue", and "elder."
- Ancient synagogues show no clear evidence that women were seated in their own sections.
Now, naturally there are all sorts of apologetic ways to explain (away) these discoveries. For example:
- Titles are nice,but they don't suggest that women had meaningful roles.
- The inscriptions are all Greek or Latin, which is proof that these female leaders were not real Jews.
- So there were reformers in the ancient world, too? Nowadays they sit together, too.
- THAT'S NOT FROM OUR MESORAH
- Obvious fabrications! We all know women functioned entirely as footstools for their husbands until that nasty Betty Friedan invented feminism.
Chaim Bray: you are welcome.
Not being any sort of expert, I won't comment further.
Not being any sort of expert, I won't comment further.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
All you can say is "Poe's Law"
Poe's law, named after its author Nathan Poe, is an Internet adage reflecting the fact that without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism [Wikipedia]
Great Moments in Charedi Living
by azigra
NOTE THIS POST WAS NOT WRITTEN BY DOVBEAR
Without a central point (other than increasing your blood pressure), here are some charedei miscellanei (sic):
1) Members of the Royal Family of Lakewood, New Jersey intend to drive up the Garden State Parkway, cross over the RFK Bridge, get off at exit 19, and "give chizuk" to the poor souls living in the Five Towns on Sabbos, February 11th. They couldn't be coming soon enough, in the 6 months since they've been here last 78 local families have converted to atheism and 136 yeshiva boys took gentile girlfriends (58 of those boys also stopped wearing hats). In what is now expected from Yeshiva heads they will lead the community in singing songs over chulent with local mini celebrities planning to be in attendance. The one shuir mentioned on the whole schedule is listed as being for "Chavrei Kollel Avrechem" so if you are already a Ben Torah then the shuir is for you and if you ever held a job in your life the extent of your interest in this religion is songs and chulent. I will not be in attendance.
2) The secretary in my office was called for Jury Duty several weeks ago and they informed her she would be serving on a Grand Jury which would keep her away from work for four weeks. About a week in she stopped by the office to ask me if guys mind girls who are taller than them and whether she should wear flats or high heals on her date that night. Today, with a week left to Jury Duty she came to inform everyone that she got engaged last night. So there it is, choosing your life partner goes quicker than Jury Duty.
3) A friend of mine told me about her meeting recently with a friend of hers who just got back from seminary in Israel. Prior to her pilgrimage to the candy shops of Geulah this girl was apparently a very "bubbly, outgoing, vibrant girl, with a great personality and a great sense of style." Said style involved a "gorgeous pair of brown leather knee high boots with a fur trim on top." The girl who showed up to this reunion was a shell of her former self. Besides the mid-neck-high black shirt, the ankle length black skirt with black stockings, her every utterance was monotone, with most questions answered by mumbling "baruch hashem." If she had gone to the Far East and joined a cult you would recognize it for what it is, but since she was in Israel and now she's frummer, you don't recognize it for what it is.
4) HRH Princess Catherine The Duchess of Cambridge has been parading around England lately in a winter coat inspired by the Hassidic Bekesha. On a trip to Israel several years ago, the coat's designer bought and fell in love with a black satin coat meant for young Hassidic boys and styled the future queens coat based on its shape and cut. The story was carried by The Daily Mail last week along with pictures of The Duchess (who was supposed to have married me if everything went as planned) and pictures of some Hassidc boys standing on a fence. What the Daily Mail does not know is that Catherine's coat actually gets its inspiration from coats worn by 18th Century polish people.
NOTE THIS POST WAS NOT WRITTEN BY DOVBEAR
Without a central point (other than increasing your blood pressure), here are some charedei miscellanei (sic):
1) Members of the Royal Family of Lakewood, New Jersey intend to drive up the Garden State Parkway, cross over the RFK Bridge, get off at exit 19, and "give chizuk" to the poor souls living in the Five Towns on Sabbos, February 11th. They couldn't be coming soon enough, in the 6 months since they've been here last 78 local families have converted to atheism and 136 yeshiva boys took gentile girlfriends (58 of those boys also stopped wearing hats). In what is now expected from Yeshiva heads they will lead the community in singing songs over chulent with local mini celebrities planning to be in attendance. The one shuir mentioned on the whole schedule is listed as being for "Chavrei Kollel Avrechem" so if you are already a Ben Torah then the shuir is for you and if you ever held a job in your life the extent of your interest in this religion is songs and chulent. I will not be in attendance.
2) The secretary in my office was called for Jury Duty several weeks ago and they informed her she would be serving on a Grand Jury which would keep her away from work for four weeks. About a week in she stopped by the office to ask me if guys mind girls who are taller than them and whether she should wear flats or high heals on her date that night. Today, with a week left to Jury Duty she came to inform everyone that she got engaged last night. So there it is, choosing your life partner goes quicker than Jury Duty.
3) A friend of mine told me about her meeting recently with a friend of hers who just got back from seminary in Israel. Prior to her pilgrimage to the candy shops of Geulah this girl was apparently a very "bubbly, outgoing, vibrant girl, with a great personality and a great sense of style." Said style involved a "gorgeous pair of brown leather knee high boots with a fur trim on top." The girl who showed up to this reunion was a shell of her former self. Besides the mid-neck-high black shirt, the ankle length black skirt with black stockings, her every utterance was monotone, with most questions answered by mumbling "baruch hashem." If she had gone to the Far East and joined a cult you would recognize it for what it is, but since she was in Israel and now she's frummer, you don't recognize it for what it is.
4) HRH Princess Catherine The Duchess of Cambridge has been parading around England lately in a winter coat inspired by the Hassidic Bekesha. On a trip to Israel several years ago, the coat's designer bought and fell in love with a black satin coat meant for young Hassidic boys and styled the future queens coat based on its shape and cut. The story was carried by The Daily Mail last week along with pictures of The Duchess (who was supposed to have married me if everything went as planned) and pictures of some Hassidc boys standing on a fence. What the Daily Mail does not know is that Catherine's coat actually gets its inspiration from coats worn by 18th Century polish people.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Frum lack of perspective on OTD-ers
A guest post by Philo
Chani Goldstein: age 19, kicked out of her Yeshiva High School for smoking, ended up doing drugs and sleeping around, has no real place to live, has no prospects or job skills. She does not keep Kosher or Shabbos.
Rivki Schwartz: age 26, defied her parents who wanted to send her to seminary, managed to get a full scholarship to college, then went to law school while working part-time as a paralegal. She just passed the bar and has a job offer at a prestigious law firm. She does not keep Kosher or Shabbos.
Neighborhood yenta 1: "Oy, did you hear about Hindy and Shoimie Goldstein's daughter Chani? Nebach, she went off the derech! Such a shame, such a shame. Such a waste. And, oy, her sisters and brothers will have such a hard time with shidduchim."
Neighborhood yenta 2: "Yes, and the same thing happened with Malka and Chaim's Shwartz's daughter Rivki! Nebach, she went off the derech too! Oy, such a terrible shame, isn't it? What a waste of a Yiddeshe neshama! Her brothers and sisters are also going to have a really hard time with shidduchim."
Both shake their heads sadly.
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Chani Goldstein: age 19, kicked out of her Yeshiva High School for smoking, ended up doing drugs and sleeping around, has no real place to live, has no prospects or job skills. She does not keep Kosher or Shabbos.
Rivki Schwartz: age 26, defied her parents who wanted to send her to seminary, managed to get a full scholarship to college, then went to law school while working part-time as a paralegal. She just passed the bar and has a job offer at a prestigious law firm. She does not keep Kosher or Shabbos.
Neighborhood yenta 1: "Oy, did you hear about Hindy and Shoimie Goldstein's daughter Chani? Nebach, she went off the derech! Such a shame, such a shame. Such a waste. And, oy, her sisters and brothers will have such a hard time with shidduchim."
Neighborhood yenta 2: "Yes, and the same thing happened with Malka and Chaim's Shwartz's daughter Rivki! Nebach, she went off the derech too! Oy, such a terrible shame, isn't it? What a waste of a Yiddeshe neshama! Her brothers and sisters are also going to have a really hard time with shidduchim."
Both shake their heads sadly.
We run Nevada
... well, maybe not completely, but we sure do have enough influence to end Nevada's Saturday caucus.
Money quote:
The rest of the article describes other ways in which the Jews are taking over the state. Sort of.
Question for constitutional experts: A Saturday caucus? In Barak Obama's America? How is that constitutional?
Money quote:
When Nevada held its first Republican caucuses in 2008, Philip A. Kantor walked to the library next door to his synagogue. He took in the spectacle, watching others ballot for their chosen candidate. But he could not take part — as an Orthodox Jew, he was forbidden from writing on the Sabbath. Frustrated, he promised himself to prevent a similar setup in the next election. But by the time state party officials announced the date of this year’s caucuses, Mr. Kantor realized that he would be barred again, unless they made special provisions.
Mr. Kantor placed several calls to friends and colleagues he knew were influential in G.O.P. circles, including to his longtime friend Sheldon Adelson, a Jewish philanthropist and Republican donor. Within weeks, Mr. Kantor had a meeting with the Clark County party chairman. After considerable back and forth, Mr. Kantor was assured that he and other Orthodox Jews would be welcome during a special caucus Saturday night, hours after others would end.
The rest of the article describes other ways in which the Jews are taking over the state. Sort of.
Question for constitutional experts: A Saturday caucus? In Barak Obama's America? How is that constitutional?
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Great Moments in Parsha Sheet Advertising
Writes our correspondent, "...when I caught a glimpse of this ad for a lesser known chocolate store, shabbos was very nearly lost forever."
See it after the jump
See it after the jump
Thursday, February 02, 2012
The brilliance of Romney
Top tier politicians aren't stupid and Mitt Romney didn't become a multimillionaire master of the universe for lack of brain power. Also, he's surrounded by the best strategists money can buy. So, let's take it for granted that his asinine-sounding remarks to Soledad O’Brien on CNN were not a gaffe, but a deliberate message to hard-working middle class people who --let's put it bluntly-- don't want their president to worry about poor people.
The shrewdness of Romney's approach seems to have been overlooked by the elite liberal media. After the jump you can see John Stewart, and Gail Collins ripping him to shreds, but missing the point entirely.
Romney knows that middle class people resent poor people. We say to ourselves, "We did everything right, like going to school and finding work, whereas they did everything wrong. So why do we have the same standard of living?"
True, poor people may have also done everything right, but been brought down by bad luck, but Mr. Middle Class Voter doesn't care. The way he sees it, the poor guy is a screw up surviving on hand-outs, and it makes Mr MCV furious to see that the poor guy does not seem to be worse off. They have TVs! And Xboxes! And air conditioning! How dare they!
Romney knows this, and in his remarks to O'Brien, he masterfully tapped into it.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Is that really the Jewish Press?
After the jump you will find a moderately impressive, Jewish Press editorial, in which the writer calls out the thugs and bullies who threatened Jewish Press advertisers after the Press ran an article about gay Jewish teenagers who attempt suicide.
In a word: Wow.
I confess to being doubly surprised. I can't believe there are Jews heartless enough to protest an attempt to prevent other Jews from killing themselves, and I can't believe the Jewish Press stood up for itself.
See it after the jump
In a word: Wow.
I confess to being doubly surprised. I can't believe there are Jews heartless enough to protest an attempt to prevent other Jews from killing themselves, and I can't believe the Jewish Press stood up for itself.
See it after the jump
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