This is the first in a new series of advice columns for young frum boys and girls. Am I a certified therapist? No. So what? You don't really need much of an education to respond to the sorts of problems the young frum ones suffer from.
BY @AZIGRA
Dear Wiser Man,
I am currently dating a girl who was introduced to me by a matchmaker. We've been out about three times and each time the date ends I drop her off at her house and ask if I can call the next day. Today, in advance of our fourth date, the matchmaker called to inform me that my date requested that I not ask her out when I drop her off, she intends to inform me of her intentions through the matchmaker the next day. Wise Man what should I do?
Dear Boy,
What planet are you living on? You and this girl are supposed adults, or adult enough to think you can be married. So why don't you stop it with these absolutely stupid games and behave like normal humans. She doesn't want you to ask her out, well you're dating her, you're 26 years old, YOU ARE A MAN, you can do what you like. Stop letting your parents, rabbis, and frum society, infantilize and emasculate you. Think about what your 16 year old gentile neighbor would do and go with that.
Dear Wise Man,
I was walking in Greenwich Village with my date the other night when he grabbed my arm to pull me out of the way of an oncoming car. I was never so embarrassed in my life, I feel like he violated me. Is this the way of a supposed Ben Torah? To grab the arm of a strange girl? The only thing is his rebbeim say he is a good learner and will likely become a famous rosh yeshiva one day. I am torn about what to do.
Dear girl,
Are you nuts?
Dear Wise Man,
I was driving down the West Side Highway with my date last week when we passed a group of men on the border of the Meat-Packing District who all had their shirts off and were super buff. It made me feel extremely inferior and I could see my date looking at them for the few seconds they were in view.
Dear boy,
First thing, YOU'RE NOT A HERMIT, try to spend at least an hour a day in the sun, you know, Vitamin D and whatnot. It wouldn't kill you to do some physical activity either. Maybe run around the yeshiva block a few times, go to a gym, do some pushups in your dorm room. Stop eating any foods that are ethnically Jewish. The sneers and jeers you'll get wont matter to you when you'll be in-shape enough to join those Meat Packing District parties.
Dear Wise Man,
I am a 26 year old married father of two living in Israel for a short time and now I think I want to move here permanently. I have no college degree, or any way of really making any money. I think if I make Aliyah, I could find a job and live a good life with Israel's general lower cost of living.
Dear boy,
It seems you are in kollel, learning Torah, doing Gods work, yet you shockingly feel empty and aimless. Unfortunately, you received a standard yeshiva education, which aims to insure that you are thoroughly unprepared for life, economically, socially, and emotionally. Now you've reached a point where your rabbis can't help you anymore, plus they dont seem to care either since your interest in work proves you were not serious this whole time. You feel used an abused. What I would recommend is moving back to the states and either invent that thing that hasn't been invented yet, or sell that product that everyone needs and no one is selling. Also, next time around be smarter than your parents and send your kids to a yeshiva which stresses the need to go to college.
To be continued?
Search for more information about @azigra at 4torah.com
Buy one of the books that changed the way DovBear thinks.
BY @AZIGRA
Dear Wiser Man,
I am currently dating a girl who was introduced to me by a matchmaker. We've been out about three times and each time the date ends I drop her off at her house and ask if I can call the next day. Today, in advance of our fourth date, the matchmaker called to inform me that my date requested that I not ask her out when I drop her off, she intends to inform me of her intentions through the matchmaker the next day. Wise Man what should I do?
Dear Boy,
What planet are you living on? You and this girl are supposed adults, or adult enough to think you can be married. So why don't you stop it with these absolutely stupid games and behave like normal humans. She doesn't want you to ask her out, well you're dating her, you're 26 years old, YOU ARE A MAN, you can do what you like. Stop letting your parents, rabbis, and frum society, infantilize and emasculate you. Think about what your 16 year old gentile neighbor would do and go with that.
Dear Wise Man,
I was walking in Greenwich Village with my date the other night when he grabbed my arm to pull me out of the way of an oncoming car. I was never so embarrassed in my life, I feel like he violated me. Is this the way of a supposed Ben Torah? To grab the arm of a strange girl? The only thing is his rebbeim say he is a good learner and will likely become a famous rosh yeshiva one day. I am torn about what to do.
Dear girl,
Are you nuts?
Dear Wise Man,
I was driving down the West Side Highway with my date last week when we passed a group of men on the border of the Meat-Packing District who all had their shirts off and were super buff. It made me feel extremely inferior and I could see my date looking at them for the few seconds they were in view.
Dear boy,
First thing, YOU'RE NOT A HERMIT, try to spend at least an hour a day in the sun, you know, Vitamin D and whatnot. It wouldn't kill you to do some physical activity either. Maybe run around the yeshiva block a few times, go to a gym, do some pushups in your dorm room. Stop eating any foods that are ethnically Jewish. The sneers and jeers you'll get wont matter to you when you'll be in-shape enough to join those Meat Packing District parties.
Dear Wise Man,
I am a 26 year old married father of two living in Israel for a short time and now I think I want to move here permanently. I have no college degree, or any way of really making any money. I think if I make Aliyah, I could find a job and live a good life with Israel's general lower cost of living.
Dear boy,
It seems you are in kollel, learning Torah, doing Gods work, yet you shockingly feel empty and aimless. Unfortunately, you received a standard yeshiva education, which aims to insure that you are thoroughly unprepared for life, economically, socially, and emotionally. Now you've reached a point where your rabbis can't help you anymore, plus they dont seem to care either since your interest in work proves you were not serious this whole time. You feel used an abused. What I would recommend is moving back to the states and either invent that thing that hasn't been invented yet, or sell that product that everyone needs and no one is selling. Also, next time around be smarter than your parents and send your kids to a yeshiva which stresses the need to go to college.
To be continued?
Buy one of the books that changed the way DovBear thinks.
