Monday, June 30, 2014

The Torah true response to evidence

What follows will illustrate the difference between regular people and torah true people.

Claim: the moon is made from green cheese.
Counter - evidence: astronauts return from the moon with rocks
Regular person: Well what do you know. I guess the moon is made from rocks.

Claim: the moon is made from green cheese.
Counter - evidence: astronauts return from the moon with rocks
Torah true person #1: obviously the astronaut is lying. All he wants to do is destroy our emunah to justify his own love for pork and loose women
TT #2: When we said the moon was made from cheese we meant the other moons not this one
TT #3: The moon used to be made from cheese but the teva changed and now it isn't
TT #4: the moon is both cheese and rock in a spiritual way that none of us are holy enough to understand
TT #5: when we said the moon was made from cheese we were speaking allegoricall
TT#6: Tomorrow the scientists will just change their minds again and tell us the moon is made from cheese


TT#8 To understand why the rocks are not a problem, you will first need to understand neo platonian metaphysics, aristotelian meta linguistics, maharal, moreh nevuchim, ralbag, rashbag, ben bag bag, Kant, Heidigger, Schilling, and Plantinga. But of course you're just an intellectually lightweight blogger, influenced by the current zeitgeist, with no deep understanding of anything, only interested in scoring cheap shots and preaching to your echo chamber, so I'm not going to waste my time explaining it to you.

TT#9: The rocks were put there on purpose at time of creation to fool the scientists/to test who's emuna is real.

TT#9 People died going to the gas chambers singing ani maamin that the moon is made of green cheese, how could you question that?

TT#10 My father told me its made of green cheese, and his father told him, all the way back to the original green cheese revelation. Are you calling my father a liar?

TT#11: GCM (Green Cheese Moon) has sustained our people for 3000 years (insert Mark Twain quote here). Those who questioned GCM are now consigned to the dustbin of history. They have no past, no future and no present. In fact, if it wasnt for me constantly reminding you of how bad the GCM deniers are, you wouldn't even know about them.

TT#12: Maicheesidies has paskened that GCM is a required belief. There's nothing to debate.

TT#13: If Chazal said GCM is true, then thats more real than anything else, even astronauts with rocks. Chazal create reality, its emes veyatziv.

TT#14: True, its a kashyeh. But no one ever died from a kashyeh. When Eliyahu Hanavi comes he will provide the tirutz

TT#15: Its pure gaavoh to think you can answer such questions, or even ask such questions. We know Chazal were 100% right.

Don't forget those who simply compartmentalize: "I believe religiously that the moon is made of cheese, but that has no bearing on my secular understanding that it is made of rock"

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