The DovBear holiday menu

I'm tired of listening to the women in my life whine about the soul-paralyzing complexity of organizing a holiday menu. Therefore, as a service to women everywhere, I am pleased to present the DovBear holiday menu. Follow it, and your household will be happy.

First night: Steak, potatoes

First day: Fish, Israeli Salad

Second night: Steak, Israeli salad

Second day: Fish, potatoes

Notes: The steak should be high quality. Put a little salt and pepper on it, and throw it in a cast iron pan with some wine. (Remember: You can cook on Yom Tov) For variety, you can skip the salt and pepper on the second night. The fish should be salmon or flounder. After you season it lightly, poach it in some wine. That's it. As for the potatoes, don't get fancy: All you have to do is boil them- but, if you want to show off for the neighbors, I suppose you could fry them in oil, too. The Israeli salad should be cucumbers and tomatos. Nothing else. Resist the urge to add garlic or lemon. This will only make things more complicated and, believe me, no one cares.

See how simple this is? Jeez.