Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Smell the Freedom

Irony alert: Bush is defending freedom by torturing innocent people in secret.

Canadian intelligence officials passed false warnings and bad information to American agents about a Muslim Canadian citizen, after which U.S. authorities secretly whisked him to Syria, where he was tortured, a judicial report found Monday.... Arar, now 36, was detained by U.S. authorities as he changed planes in New York on Sept. 26, 2002. He was held for questioning for 12 days, then flown by jet to Jordan and driven to Syria. He was beaten, forced to confess to having trained in Afghanistan -- where he never has been -- and then kept in a coffin-size dungeon for 10 months before he was released, the Canadian inquiry commission found.... [head of the inquiry commission, Ontario Justice Dennis ] O'Connor concluded that "categorically there is no evidence" that Arar did anything wrong or was a security threat.

Haha, sorry Canada! Our bad! Can we offer you a coupon book as a sign of our goodwill?

Expected Bush explanations:
(1) Well, if he was truly innocent, he would had the good sense to be born American.
(2) Canada gave us the wrong guy. On the advice of John Kerry. Look at them. Them. THEM.
(3) Didn't Klinton authorize rendition, too? Look at him! HIM! HIMMMMMMMM!
(4) What do you mean "not guilty?" He was both swarthy and brown.
(5) You boneheads just don't get it. WE don't torture. It was those Syrians, who hate us for our freedom (Note: We love them for their torture.)
(6) Our intelligance was faulty. Again.

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