You don't belong at the Siyum Hashas if...
jersey, eating the funnel cakes, and sitting with his wife.
[I'm very anxious to credit bangitout.com for these awful jokes, but I can't find this list on their site, though it sounds like their work. (I received the list by Email, in a less literate version, a version I cleaned up for posting here. Why'd I bother, if the jokes are so bad? For the hell of it really.)]