WHICH DOESN'T BELONG AND WHY?

Which doesn't belong and why: Phillip Roth, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or Madonna

Well, Ruth Bader is the least femminine of the three, and Phillip Roth, my sources say, hasn't much of a singing voice, but no that's not it... keep thinking... Which doesn't belong and why... give up? Ha ha! It is a trick question! All three "belong" --or at least that's the view from the Forward, the less-and-less-influential-with-each-passing-moment Jewish weekly. All three of these celebs, you see, are new inductees to the Forward 50 a list that recognizes the 50 people deemed the year's most influential leaders of the American Jewish community.

The word from Punjab (Why Punjab? We don't know. Perhaps Madge is sampling Hindi?) is Madonna is pissed. Her spokeslacky has been dispatched to aver, "Madonna is not Jewish."

Over at the Forward, JJ Goldberg does not agree. He'll sell more papers if Madonna is on the list so to hell and beyond with matrilineal descent. Furthermore, argues JJ, "She's a practitioner of the Kabbalah, so she's practicing Judaism for Christ's sake! Well, not really for Christ's sake, but she's probably the world's best known practitioner of Judaism right now." Hey! What about Shmuley Boteach?

You younger readers of dovbear may not remember the time in the early 90s when you couldn't open a magazine or turn on the television without hearing about Madonna naked somewhere. Now it seems like the tale of her kabbalah conversion/facination is equally ubiquitous. Like you, we pine for the good old days.