If you can get through all of this you're way better with the whole attention span thing than I am. Phew. Wouldn't one song parody have done the trick?
Ok, history time. I feel like there is some precedent in our Jewish past for long invitations created in contemporary styles, but I am a little too busy to play today. Perhaps I saw one such invitation at the Valmadonna library? Fred might know. The point is that a really long, over produced invitation might not be something new under the Jewish sun, but I'd love to know for certain.
Wait. Here's another one just like it
Search for more information about stuff to ask Fred at4torah.com
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