Friday, November 18, 2011

A yeshiva guy says

Yesterday, we pointed you to A Sem Girl Says, a new FaceBook page that proposes to compile some of the stupid things Seminary Girls are overheard saying on the streets of Jerusalem. Well, what about the Yeshiva Guys? They say stupid things, too. So in the interest of fair play, here are some of the stupid things I've heard yeshiva guys* say with my own personal ears (not verbatim):
  • Who was the Bnos Tzlafchad's father?
  • The Ari wrote the Zohar (yes, the Ari)
  • Rishonim don't really disagree; we're just not smart enough to see the reconciliation
  • K'vayachol is one of God's name... you know: Hashem, k'vayochol.
  • How did the ibn Ezra learn Rashi?
  • The universe is exactly 5771 years old
  • All of the midrashim were given at Sinai.
  • Liberalism/Feminism/Anything I don't like is an avoda zara 
  • Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh/Pat Robertson/anyone I do like is "mamish" a tzadik
  • Black people are our spiritual/intellectual inferiors.
  • Chazal knew how to cure cancer, build rocket ships, and spontaneously generate food
  • Lice are generated from sweat
  • "Furthermore, according to midrashim, [the kotel] may very well be the original wall from shlomo which herod later renovated." /verbatim
  • Giving fortunes of money to some old guy who, in exchange, mumbles some Hebrew words on your behalf is a great guarantee of health,wealth and happiness. 
  • The Ramban is not from our mesorah
Add your own...

*The actual @yeshivaguy has said plenty of stupid things, too, only his Twitter account is now protected so I can't mine his timeline for winning remarks. 

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