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Parsha Notes Va'ayrah 5771


Hey: Buy the book

What everyone should know

About Egyptian Magic The presence of the court magicians is not necessarily evidence that the magic is real. Though Alter and Rashi agree that the story is written from the perspective of someone who believes the magicians had real power, other commentators disagree. Notably, Samson Raphael Hirsch reads the magician verses in a way that presents them as frauds. Ralbag and Seforno are two other bold face names who said the magicians were frauds. Ibn Ezra, who also doubted their power proposes that the very word latayhem (enchantments or spells) indicates their chicanary. The word, he says, comes from l-h-t, or flame, which Robert Alter says links the work of the magicians to the "fire and flash technique of the illusionist." Those who disagree with Ibn Ezra and imagine the spells were real might say the root of latayhem is l-'-t or conceal. Even according to the ancient interpreters, who almost certainly thought magic was real, what the Egyptians magicians could do were merely pale imitations of Moshe's miracles.

- The plagues:  The stuff "everyone knows" about the plagues, is actually a matter of serious dispute among the Rishonim. For instance, if you go around telling people that one frog came out of the river, and that it multiplied as it was hit, you're disregarding contrary opinions of Rabbi Eliezer ben Azarya, Rashi and the Abravenel. If you say the Israelites weren't affect by the first plagues you're over-ruling Ibn Ezra. And so on.


A gem of wingnuttery: On the plague of Frogs

External Parallels: Our parsha begins with a formula ("I am X") that is found in many ANE documents, both as a royal statement, or as the announcements of various deities. (Alter)

Against the crux: At the beginning of the parsha, God seems to say that he never once told the Patriarchs his four-letter name. Rashi says what this means is that Patriarchs weren't aware of the attribute represented by this name. [More] Alter points out that literally its true: There's no special episode, such as this one, in which God's four-letter name, or the meaning of it, is revealed; on the other hand, there's also no concrete indication that they were ignorant of it either.

Anomaly: The second time Moshe's stick* is transformed into a reptile, the animal is called a tanin. Previously its a nachash. The difference? A nachash is an ordinary snake, but a tanin might be a crocodile, or a dragon.

*Here I follow those who said there was one magic stick, which Aaron borrowed as needed.

Symmetry: The plagues come in three groups of three. The first of each triad is announced by Moshe in the morning at the water's edge, with the . the second is announced in the palace, and the third isn't announced at all. Also, the first two affect the Nile, and end with a stench. The second two involve insects (per those who take orov not as a horde of beasts but as a swarm of bugs.) The third pair are epidemics, and the fourth destroy crops. The final two plagues pair darkness with death

Historicity: The Ipuwer Papyrus is interesting but its significance is debated.


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Fiddler/You Got Served Mashup




A little long, but well played.

Aside: What happened to the authentic Torah-true bottle on the head dance? Was it ever a big deal? If so, how did the vanguards of tradition let it fall out of style?


HT Azigra

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The Office


I consider this the funniest scene from the original UK Office. It shows David Brent (in the US known as Micheal Scott) interfering with a training session on customer care)




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I refuse to obey pashkevils


Generally, a pashkevil is a broadside posted on a wall that announced some new religious ban or rulings Sometimes, they appear in newspapers, often as paid advertisements.  Recently, the Gedolim used a pashkevil to announce their ban on VIN.

The problem with the pashkevil is it usually employs overheated language, and provides no real justification for the new rule or ban. Instead of arguing facts, as in a lawyer's brief, the author of a pashkevil attempts to frighten or shame his audience into obeying. Threats are sometimes made, and dissenting points of view, when they are represented at all, are demonized . In other words, the pashkevil harangues rather than convinces.


Recently on the new news channel

Christianity vs secularism continued


The OJ Rabbi, who started the Twitter conversation about Christianity earlier this week, has responded. His comments are in red, my answers are in grey. In short, my view is that no one with any sense of history should be unhappy to see a weak Church.

See it all after the jump

Parody or Offensive?


A Guest Post By E. Fink

This "gem" has been floating around Facebook.

I don't see any reason Orthodox Jews to be sharing this incendiary parody.

Is it funny enough to be a parody? Or is it offensive enough that it should not be shared?




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Xtianity what is it good for?


It started when an Orthodox Rabbi I like and respect put this on Twitter:

Is trend away from religious Christmas to happy holidays good or bad from Jewish perspective? I say bad.

Those of you who've been here for a while already know my feelings on this subject. I think Christianity has been the cuase of untold suffering, particularly Jewish suffering, and I think the decline of Christian ferver (in the developed world, at least) is one of the great blessings of our time. Here's how I tweeted back:

Jewish Superstars





A guest post by AvromBronstein

Today’s Times ran an article taken from Eduardo Porter’s forthcoming “The Price of Everything: Solving the Mystery of Why We Pay What We Do” about The Economics of Superstars, which he applied to executive pay:
In 1982, the top 1 percent of pop stars, in terms of pay, raked in 26 percent of concert ticket revenue. In 2003, that top percentage of stars — names like Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera or 50 Cent — was taking 56 percent of the concert pie…  Nearly 30 years ago, Sherwin Rosen, an economist from the University of Chicago, proposed an elegant theory to explain the general pattern. In an article entitled “The Economics of Superstars,” he argued that technological changes would allow the best performers in a given field to serve a bigger market and thus reap a greater share of its revenue. But this would also reduce the spoils available to the less gifted in the business.
The Jewish community has its Rabbinic superstars as well, on several levels.  First, think of the national ubiquity of a Shmuley Boteach or a Daniel Lapin.  How many aspiring rabbinic opinion-makers are being squeezed out of the marketplace by the books, radio programs, and op-eds of the few?  Better, think of the number of blogs, podcasts, and columns devoted to responding to, or promoting, the ideas of a small number of idea generators.  We don’t need more than one Daniel Gordis, nor more than one Peter Beinart, if their articles and books have an international audience.

Guess why its so important to donate to kupat ha'ir



HT On request

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Genuine Hachnachas Orchim in the Five Towns


***PLEASE POST ANONYMOUSLY***

In case you haven't heard yet:

1 - A full El Al plane pushed off from the gate at JFK around 6 last night and then sat frozen on the tarmac for almost ten hours as the airport closed. The passengers are still waiting (in the terminal, mostly) for their flight, which was rescheduled several times and is now set to leave at 9 PM (27 hour delay).

1a - There were a bunch of other Israel-bound passengers stranded at the airport at nearby gates.

2 - Although El Al fed the passengers on the plane (treatment on the plane was the best that could be expected), they were unable to provide anything more than vouchers at the airport (until about 3 PM, when some sandwiches showed up). Vouchers are pretty worthless for kosher food at JFK, especially since Hudson News wouldn't accept them.

3 - Enter "the frum community of the Five Towns and Far Rockaway," who by early afternoon had delivered about five million pizzas; countless bagels; muffins; croissants; individual cereal packs; chips, pretzels, etc.; oranges; juice; milk; and I don't even remember what else. Passengers had to leave the gate area to go to the chapel area to retrieve food, but most people brought back more than they needed to share with others.

We've been at the airport now for about 26 hours (10 of those on a plane) and are looking at another four before we get on our plane. It has hardly been fun, but our anonymous coreligionists have made it far less arduous and even a little heartwarming. Titzku l'mitzvot.

***PLEASE POST ANONYMOUSLY***


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In Defense of Emunas Chachamim and Daas Torah


A Guest Post By E. Fink

Enough articles and posts have been written about the recent confusion about emunas chachamim and Daas Torah. To the sheeple, these terms have been taken to mean that when a gadol speaks about a subject, be it halacha, hashkafa or science, the gadol is speaking with Divine Assistance and the gadol's words are binding. Rabbi Rivlin holds this to be true. As do the many commenters that Matzav.com allows to filter through their fascist comment queue.

This opinion suffers severe flaws in logic and is in dispute with many Torah principles. But what bothers me is this: When did this happen? I understand that in Chassidus this idea is a a cornerstone to their avodas Hashem. But how and when did this become the leading opinion in non-chassidic circles?

British corn




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Just What We Needed


A Guest Post by Avromie

The OU, in the latest Jewish Action, has convened what they term a 'symposium' to defend the idea of Mesorah. I can only assume it's as a response to the krumbagel video. The website Vos Iz Neias was banned a few days ago for a litany of speech offenses. I don't want to reopen the discussion of the video or VIN now. But I do want to talk about the vital place of blogging and anonymous videos in modern-day frum Judaism.

Two previous appearances by Frum Jews on the People's Court







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Ick





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Parsha Notes Shmos 2010


Symmetry
- At the start of the parsha, the 11 sons of Jacob (1:2-4) are arranged in two groups of four, with a group of three in the middle (Alter)

Allusion
- The words: וּבְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, פָּרוּ וַיִּשְׁרְצוּ וַיִּרְבּוּ וַיַּעַצְמוּ--בִּמְאֹד מְאֹד; וַתִּמָּלֵא הָאָרֶץ, אֹתָם (And the sons of Israel were fruitful, and swarmed and multiplied, and grew very vast; and the land was filled with them)are a reference to the creation story and the promise to Abraham.
- In the Flood story, all of humankind is nearly drowned, with the last remnant surviving on an ark. Here, the people of Israel are imperiled after Pharaoh orders the drowning of all their male children; meanwhile, their savior survives in an ark. (In both places the vessel is called a "tayva.")

Two Way Torah
- When the daughter of Pharoh looks into the basket, we're told "v'hinay na'ar bocheh". Most take this to mean, "and behold the boy [i.e. Moshe] was crying. An infant, however, is never called a na'ar. This leads someone (forget who) to say that the crying boy was actually Aaron, who was standing on the river side watching.
- Before Moshe murders the Egyptian who was beating an Israelite man, the verse says that "he looked this way and that way, and when he saw no one." Typically, we understand "Moshe" as the antecedent for the pronoun "he". Some, however, point out that there has to be something unique about this particular incident; presumably Egyptians beat Israelite all the time: Why did Moshe interfere this time? Perhaps because such attacks were actually forbidden by Egyptian law, a possibility suggested if the words are instead read "[and the Egyptian] looked this way and that way, and when he saw no one." After checking to see that no one was around, the Egyptian proceeded with his illegal attack on the Israelite. Moshe interfered this particular time, because such attacks were illegal and therefore unusual. 

Motif
- The betrothal scene returns this week. Again, our hero is at the well in a foreign land, where he once again performs an act of physical valor. Again, he is greeted by a woman who hurries home with news of his arrival, and again the betrothal is agreed to after a meal. This time, though, the usual young woman is multiplied by the formulaic seven.

Historicity
- Moshe is an authentic, ancient Egyptian name, which means "the one who is born" , i.e. "son."(Alter)

Symbolism
As Alter shrewdly points out Moshe, from infancy, is associated with water. The water saves him, it's where the plagues began, and a barrier of water must be crossed by the fleeing Hebrews, water that collapses on the pursuing Egyptians and drowns them just as Hebrew boys were drowned. Egypt, too, is associated with water, the Nile especially, and after their escape, the former slaves remember Egypt as a well-watered place of fish, melons, and cucumbers.The wilderness, on the other hand, is noted for dryness. Moshe first meets God on a mountain called Horeb, which, per ibn Ezra, means "parched place" and at this first meeting, God reveals himself through fire. Later, at the culmination of the narrative, the mountain (now called Sinai; a pun Alter suggests on sneh) is surrounded by divine fire. For more on this, with an assist from a satellite map, click here

Anomaly
- Though the verse (1:10) says "Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the country" Rashi, based on Sotah 11a, emends it as follows "And it is as if it were written: and we will depart from the land, and they will take possession of it."
- The text presents Shifra and Puah as the only Hebrew midwives, though as Ibn Ezra points out, they would have had to be leaders of much larger squads.
- When he meet Moshe's father in-law he is called Reuel. In the next episode his name is Jethro.
- In Chapter 3, the mountain of God is called Horeb. Later it is Sinai.
- The whole "chatam domim l'molis" story is a bizarre mystery, written in a crabbed style that suggests the narrative is alluding to well-known story. James Kugel says its an etiological tale, created to defend the idea of infant circumcision. As Kukel tells it, the well known expression "חֲתַ֥ן דָּמִ֖ים לַמּוּלֹֽת" seemed to suggest that circumcision was done to adults, not children. This story then, with its explanation of the expression (Kugel translates "אָ֚ז אָֽמְרָ֔ה"  as "it was then she said"), was created to establish that the words "חֲתַ֥ן דָּמִ֖ים לַמּוּלֹֽת" are really no defense of adult circumcision. 

Tell your kids
- The Rabbis darshaned that when Pharaoh's daughter saw the floating basket, which contained the infant Moshe, she stretched out her arm and it magically became lengthened to allow her to reach the baby. Rashi cites the midrash, points out that the grammar doesn't support the drash, and says the plain meaning of the verse is that she sent a maidservant to get the basket. Other mephorshim also disagree with the midrash

- Moshe asks to be allowed to take the Hebrews on a three days' journey into the wilderness. This does not mean, as if often supposed, that they plan to be away for three days. What's actually intended is a three day trip into the desert, a day of prayer, and a three day journey back, thus 7 days away from work.

- Its really ok if you change your names: There's plenty of evidence that the Israelites took Egyptian names.

Understanding Rashi
- Rashi identifies the midwives as Miriam and Yocheved. This is because the text (1:21) tells us: [God] made for them batim, meaning households or lineagesYocheved is matriarch of the priests and levites, and King David is a descendant of Miriam.
- The verse says Moshe's mother saw he was good. Rashi doesn't take this at face value. Here's the how and why.
- The verse says the King of Egypt died. Rashi says all this means is that he contracted leprosy. Here's why.
- Who was Moshe's Pharaoh?

Foreshadowing
- Moshe's floating among the reeds, foretells his great victory at the Sea of Reeds.
- At the well, Moshe saves seven sisters, fitting his future role as savior of his people.

Irony
- Pharaoh demanded that all Hebrew males be thrown into the river, but the carrying out of this command is precisely what saved Moshe.

External parallels
- Both Moshe and Sargon are sent floating down a river, rescued, and grow up to save their people. In this post I say "So what?"

Two way Torah
- What was Yocheved thinking when she put Moshe in the water? There are at least two ways to read her story, each having some support from the classic commenters.


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Pathetic annual telethon update


The pathetic annual telethon continues. If you've ever received a moments pleasure or enjoyment from the things we do here on DovBear I ask you to please toss something into the collection plate. Every little bit helps with bills and expenses of course, but contributions of any amount are also your way of affirming that you value the service provided by this blog. Though the blog rumor that I'm actually a Cyborg detective voiced by Don Adams is gaining traction, the truth is I'm an ordinary human being just like, well...  more than a few of you. Support for the pathetic annual telethon is your way of saying "keep up the good work." Those of you who are also ordinary human beings must understand how valuable such a message can be.


Additional offer: DovBear is now accepting kvittles!! Attach a request to your contribution / pidyon and I swear to do everything within my power to compel the forces of the universe to fulfill your wish no matter how petty or depraved that wish might be (results not guaranteed) (by which I mean "thanks for the dough.") However, if you ask for something easy, such as a post on a particular topic, an answer to a particular question, or a plug for your nonboring, nonpathetic blog, that favor shall be instantly granted.


Opportunity for cheapskates: I'm in some contest, that offers a $500 prize. Those of you unwilling to donate to the blog, or buy my book, can instead help me out by going to this facebook page  and clicking LIKE on my comment.




Thanks

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Presenting a fabulous new ode to the holidays written by G.A.



What was it like to live in Mainz c1000 when the Kolonymous family of piyut writers were active? How did it feel to read one of their liturgical masterpieces for the first time, and realize that you were holding something brand new that would undoubtedly withstand the test of time?  Read this new poem by G.A and see for yourself.


A fabulous new ode to the holidays written by G.A.

What do Sarah Palin and insane, anti-Semitic ex-Gitmo detainees have in common?


You may have heard that an ex-Gitmo detainee went crying to Al Jazeera that evil Jews used Jewish witchcraft to drive him insane, forcing him to do things like urinate in his milk.

It's all very sad/ funny and anti-Semitic of course, but as Gawker points out two relevant facts are being overlooked:

(1) The ex-Gitmo detainee is likely insane, not because of Jewish witchcraft, but because of American interrogation techniques; and

(2) Sarah Palin also believes in witches.



In the video you can see her standing docily as some lunatic preacher prays for Jesus to protect her from "every form of witchcraft."

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From DBN





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More blow-back on the Times divorce story


I'm not done with the topic, in part because some trash-talkers at Imamother.com have been making snippy comments. Here's the one I like least:
You can't always equate halacha with morality. Since his premise is off, his conclusion is too
Sorry, but my premise was not that halacha and morality are the same thing.(1) My premise is that we --all of us -- use our own sense of right and wrong, our own moral criteria, to decide how to interpret the words of the Sages. There's nothing wrong with this, by the way. Its inevitable and part of being human. The problem comes when people deny they are engaging in interpretation, and insist that their apologetic reworking of something a Sage said is consistent with what the Sage originally meant. In this case, Rabbi Akiva clearly says men may divorce their wives even if its just because "he found someone more appealing". It sounds ugly to our ears, I agree, and deeply unfair to women but to claim Rabbi Akiva meant something else, is not right, and not supported by the evidence.



Swiped from @greuvenreuven's FB page

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Elie Wiesel is Fox News' 'Holocaust Winner'


Gawker scores:
When Nobel Peace Prize winner and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel visited Fox News' dingbat morning show Fox & Friends last week, the chyron labeled him "Holocaust Winner" Elie Wiesel. Fire every intern! But congrats on the win, Elie Wiesel.

octothorp01:42 PM
In a separate report, they effusively praised Anne Frank's dairy, calling for worldwide lactose tolerance.

econdave01:57 PM
Primo Levi picked up the save.

bellawill401:56 PM
The only thing missing is Bert Parks singing, "There he is, Mr. Hol-o-caust..."


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Breaking News: VIN IS BANNED


Failed Messiah is reporting that VIN, a news aggregator blog, has been placed under Rabbininc ban. All the big names seem to have signed it. My hunch? The ban was organized by the accused xxxxxxxx who runs YWN. Why do I say that? Because the emphasis of the ban, which was certainly written by an interested  third party and then given to the Rabbis for their signature, is DO NOT ADVERTISE on VIN, not do not read it. If I'm right (and I have no evidence) this wouldn't be the first time an unscrupulous businessman manipulated the Rabbis for personal gain.

See the ban for yourself:

Full size

Thoughts:

1. If you're going to ban VIN, why not ban YWN and Matzav? They all play the same game. (See my hunch above) 
2. All the Rabbis have done here is shown how weak they are. When you ban a book or a web site, you announce to the world that you're powerless against a stronger idea. A ban is a sign of fear.
3. Also, the blog-reading public is going to ignore the Rabbis, as always, further demonstrating their impotence.


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In defense of Sonderkommando Revolt


I really don't understand the controversy over Sonderkommando Revolt, a new video game that lets you revel in the wholesale slaughter of Nazis.

The game is done in the style of Wolfenstein 3D meaning the graphics are old school-choppy and the villains are Nazis. The extra wrinkle this time is the setting. Instead of a castle, or generic army barrack, now you're in Auschwitz, and Jews in striped uniforms are everywhere. As you run around the camp killing guards and soldiers you see the crematoriums and gas chambers, and also scenes of Jews being tortured and executed. Some of these scenes are extremely disturbing, in particular, a shot of dead, bleeding Jews piled like cord wood. [You can see the trailer here. I found it nausea-inducing. Not just because of the anti-Jewish violence, but because the first-person-shooter format makes me queasy]

Though I agree the images are about as disturbing as choppy 8-bit images can be,  I'm still at a loss to explain why the ADL, Heeb Magazine and others are aghast.

The point of the game is not to glorify the murder of Jews. The point is to kill Nazis. Other games let you play quarterback for the Giants, this one let you live out the ultimate Jewish fantasy. You're at Auschwitz with a machine gun, and no one can stop you. 

When  Inglourious Basterds was released it faced some of the same criticism. People didn't like the idea of an action-adventure movie centered around the Holocaust. It seemed vulgar and disrespectful. Writing in the Atlantic, Jeffery Goldberg ended the argument with three paragraphs.

Jewish Family Values say Partilla and Riddel were right to leave their families


Did these two do something wrong?
John Partilla and Carol Anne Riddell fell in love about two years ago and were recently married. To celebrate the occasion, they did what many couples do and submitted the story of their relationship to the New York Times for publication in The Vows, a regular feature.

Only one problem.

Partilla and Riddel were married to other people when they met, and though they insist that no adultery was committed, the article does describe some of the devastation left in their wake, including wounded children and angry ex-spouses.

Predictably, some Defenders of Family Values are in an uproar -- "They broke up two families for an infatuation!" said one of my FaceBook friends -- but as I reviewed the facts of the case, I found myself asking: What exactly did they do wrong?

With friends like these....


In the video below, some singer blames us for killing Jesus, but overlooks our "bad behavior" because what she really wants for Christmas is a collection of hot, wealthy Jewish boyfriends.

Note: Its apparently a parody of something Mariah Carey did. No idea what.




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Today on DovBear's News


Make it a daily stop.

ALSO: Please support the pathetic telethon with a sizable donation.


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Jewish woman gets scammed by Rabbi; writes about it in New York Times article


The weekend paper included a sweet story about a no-longer Orthodox Jewish woman and her search for a husband, a search that included a visit to a kabbalistic Rabbi for curse-removal. >> See it here

Though the woman kindly gives the Rabbi some credit for a semi-successful outcome, I see in the Rabbi's behavior all the hallmarks of a scam. These include:

Attention Well-meaning Gentiles


By continuing to wish me a Happy Chanukka, or worse, a Happy Holiday, you are demonstrating ignorance of my culture and calendar.

Though your tinsel wrapped celebration is still on the horizon, our holiday ended two weeks ago. The menorot have been put away, and the latkes are no longer frying. Even the Macabeats have finally vanished into the mist.

I understand that you mean no harm, that you are in fact attempting to include me in your winter carnival, but the invitation is hereby declined. Christmas is yours, not ours. We exclude you from Rosh Hashana, Passover, and the rest. There will be no hard feelings if you return the favor.

PS: Menōrah, goddamit, not Menôrah


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DADT is done


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gaypocalypse Now
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog</a>The Daily Show on Facebook


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Aspiring Rabbis of New Jersey?


We see from the papers, a group of Lakewood boys made a demonstration of their midos, and brought credit to their parents and teachers during the bus ride home last Tuesday.  Report:
NEW YORK (CBS 2) — Four New Jersey Yeshiva students have been charged with bias intimidation after being accused of harassing a black school bus driver.

The driver told Lakewood Police that the teenagers praised the Ku Klux Klan, then crowded behind her in a threatening manner as she was driving on Tuesday.

The NAACP called the situation disturbing.

“To me, it’s sad. Here we are in the 21 st Century, and we have this kind of intimidation going on,” Jim Waters, president of the Ocean County NAACP, said.

The Yeshiva also filed a complaint against the driver, saying that the driver acted inappropriately.

The driver has been moved to another route while the investigation takes place.

Residents said it was a complete shock and that they need more details to have the full story.

“I’m extremely surprised. It’s totally out of character for the boys in this school, and until we hear what their side of the story is, it’s difficult to comment,” one man said.
Shame the little dears don't seem aware of the KKK's view of Jews. And because this is Lakewood, you have to guess their KKK education came at around the dinner table, not in History class.

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I can't even afford a new promotional GIF :(




Seriously folks, my pathetic annual telethon is on, and it is time to give. As in previous years, every dime I collect will be used to purchase a birthday present for my lovely wife. (Or as she puts it "send more than dimes, you cheapos.") And also as in previous years there are many convenient ways to make your contribution to the DovBear experience:
  1. Buy my book It has its flaws, but I still hold that no better introduction to my views on the parsha is available from Lulu for just 20 bucks. Read a review. Buy the book
  2. Buy an ad This can be either anonymous or self serving. If you choose to keep your gift a secret, don't reveal anything personal in the ad. Payment is processed through Blogads, and they won't tell me anything about you. [Same is true of Lulu by the way.] If you prefer to be self -serving, use the ad to promote your blog, repeat an endearing GOP slogan, or whatever you choose. Start here
  3. Use your credit card or paypal account. Not hard. Also not anonymous, but whatever.







    Thanks, in advance.


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Parsha Notes Vayichee


As we conclude Sefer Berayshis, you're reminded and invited to contribute something to bedek habayis if you've found ParshaNotes edifying. 

Click to see this week's edition.

On the new news channel


Some of what we found today for your news-consuming enjoyment





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The war on Christmas is fully enjoined


Tzip, a great friend of this blog, has fired the first shot of WAR ON CHRISTMAS 2010. Her target is some law-maker who seems fully unaware that he might be sharing the planet with non-Christians.

I say make him listen to the Maccabeats for the next two weeks. That'll learn him.

Now I own R. Malkiel Kotler, too!


Please feel free to put this special DovBear edition photo
of Rav Malkiel Kotler on on your bedstand or sukka wall.


Alas, the old custom of
shaving one's beard for
Purim is no longer followed
Earlier today, I attempted to locate a photo of R, Malkiel Kotler but was disappointed to discover that blogs like Matzav and YWN had demonstrated their respect for Torah leaders by plastering logos all over their photos. The big boys do this too, by the way, which is why you can't find a single photo of Barack Obama without some blog name scrawled on it.  Anyway, despite like 60 seconds of effort, I couldn't find a single picture of R. Malkiel that hadn't been defaced, so I reluctantly used a picture of R. Malkiel's father, Shnuer, dressed like a Y.U boy for Purim. (at right)

Feeling my pain, a friend and reader decided to make his contribution to the pathetic annual telethon in the form of a photo of Malkiel Kotler. Put your brand on it, he said. Why should those blogs be the only ones to make believe that they own the rights to the likeness of a sage of Israel?

And so it was done. In time, I hope to complete a branding siyum, and affix my sign and seal to photographs of every great person who has ever lived.


Search for more information about stuff I do when I am bored at 4torah.com.

A very modern dvar torah about Reuven's loss of his firstborn status


A disclaimer that really should not be necessary: I don't necessarily accept any of the claims summarized and discussed in the post that follows. The point is to provoke discussion by making you aware of various problems and their solutions.

Here's a brief, yet entirely authoritative post, on the complicated issues surrounding Reuven's loss of his firstborn status. It starts, as most things do, with a verse in Genesis.
Israel moved on again and pitched his tent beyond Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. Now the sons of Jacob were twelve

Tone Correction


A shame Google doesn't make this tool available for blogs

Today on the brand new news channel


Some of what we posted today at DovBear's News





If you'd like to help us aggregate interesting stories, email DovBear.

Monsey Music Video From the Early 90's


A Guest Post By E. Fink

This video is just all kinds of awesome.

In the early 1990's, some local Monsey folks (not of the Semitic persuasion) made a music video of "Small Town" set in Monsey NY (my hometown). The video is mostly shot on Main Street which looked mostly the same 20 years ago. I wonder if these folks still live in Monsey or if they sold their homes for huge profits to frum developers...



HT: Mo Pepper (my BIL)

Search for more information about Monsey at 4torah.com.

The last Jew in Beruit


Beruit's last surviving Jew, a link to a what was once a vibrant Jewish center, has been asked to leave her home. Al Jazeera has the story, and a lavish slide show.

The little lies of Jewish history


Via the great Miriam Shaviv, I see that the also-sort-of-great Marc Shapiro has contributed to the defeat of yet another set of lies about Jewish history*. It turns out:
  • Divorce was common in the Middle Ages (at least 20 percent Miriam says)
  • Women sometimes attended cheder** (the ratio, she says, was about 1:8)
  • Matchmakers were not used by poor Jews
  • Teenage marriage was rare
All of this matters, as Miriam aptly notes, because Orthodox Jews argue for their own 21st century way of living on the grounds that there is something original or authentic about it in a First Cause sort of way. This is false, as one scholar after another has revealed. Their social practices, like their religious ideas, are contingent, and forever developing and changing in ways large and small. 

This need to be repeated as often as possible, if only because too much human happiness is stifled for the sake of achieving a false authenticity. 

Foot notes and more after the jump

Today on the brand new news channel


Some of what we posted today at DovBear's News:

If you'd like to help us aggregate interesting stories, email DovBear.

Things I'd like to do in the next five minutes


1) Transfer all my comments to disqus, and switch over to that system entirely (Do it for me, and I'll provide you with a lifetime supply of DovBear dollars, plus a key to the executive J-blogger restroom.)

2) Write a post about the development of the idea that Rueven lost the rights of the firstborn.
(Summary: It's an interesting story, that parallels David's sin with Bathsheba, and can be traced through the Apocrypha. What I'd like to discuss: Did the story orginally develop to address certain textual anomalies, or to explain why the Rubenites were, for the most part, gone by the beginning of bayis rishon?)

3) Write a post about Vashti's tail in particular and Midrashim in general using the the word "atavism".

4) Tear someone a new one, in the way Jonathan Chait tears Roger Simon a new one here.

A Little Jab From a Muslim Feminist (with an important message)


A Guest Post By E. Fink

Read this article written by a "Muslim Feminist": "Let Me, a Muslim Feminist, Confuse You."
It's very interesting how some of the struggles she encounters and experiences reflect eerily similar encounters and experiences within the orthodox Jewish community.
She takes a little shot at charedim in this line:
I moved to Israel, where I was the first Egyptian to live and work there for a western news agency. I became a liberal Muslim because my ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighbours reminded me of ultra-orthodox Muslim Saudis. Orthodoxy serves men much more than it does women.
It's hard to argue with her perceptions.

And as an orthodox Jew it's very easy to relate to her struggle.

Perhaps most importantly, for my orthodox Jewish friends who do not acknowledge the movement within Islam that is progressive and modern this article is exhibit A. Its author is not alone and its author represents the kind of Islam that all Americans should support.


Search for more information about modern Islam at 4torah.com.

AP: OJs don't eat right


Apparently the earth is round, and Orthodox Jews have eating disorders. I don't know why the Associated Press elected to write an article about our eating problems, but I am surprised it focuses almost exclusively anorexia. Though I don't doubt its a serious problem among seminary girls, what about their fathers, the cholent-fressers?

What other people gorges on weekends the way that we do? Do ordinary supermarkets give over a full aisle to nothing but candy? Kosher supermarkets do.  Is the refreshments table at an upper-middle class church service completely devoid of fresh vegetables and fruit. Are water and juice impossible to find among bottles and bottles of soda and schnapps? Do other people send their kids to expensive prep schools when all exercise is frowned upon?

And though its true, other groups have their own problems with weight and eating, I think the Orthodox Jews are the only upper middle class group with this affliction. 


Search for more information about OJ blubber at 4torah.com.

So long as we see no ankles I guess anything goes


This racy advertisement has been brought to you by the people who ban the appearance of all leg skin, and refuse to print photos of females in their publications:

Though not technically incorrect, the sentence brings to mind something unseemly. The same might be said of  sock-less girls: Technically, there isn't anything wrong with it; yet some worry about the thoughts such an image might bring to mind*. I think its odd that no main-stream newspaper would publish this ad -- and for specifically that reason -- yet, it flies right under the radar at the self-congratulatory pious papers, who are ultra strict about other things.

Related
HT: Amshonover (who else)

* If you're repressed, unhinged, sheltered, or just a plain old pervert: I don't think ordinary people are driven wild by women without socks; nor do I think the word "erection" makes anyone but a 12 year old giggle. Just if you're going to be a pious paper, be a consistently pious paper.

Search for more information about [topic] at 4torah.com.

RIP Richard Holbrooke


Richard Holbrooke died this evening, literally from a broken heart.


What I remembered about him first, was an article he wrote two years ago to celebrate Israel's 60th. It appeared beneath his name in the Washington Post, and concluded with this line: 

"Truman's decision [to recognize Israel] although opposed by almost the entire foreign policy establishment, was the right one -- and despite complicated consequences that continue to this day, it is a decision all Americans should recognize and admire." >> Read the whole thing.


Search for more information about Richard Holbrooke at 4torah.com.

Va'yigash Parsha notes


Permit me to pass the begging bowl, as we begin a special Monday morning edition of Parsha Notes (Parsha what?).

This week, I am encouraging you to thank my wife for the forbearance that makes this blog possible. Please help purchase her a gift on behalf of the blog, and support my pathetic annual telethon by purchasing an ad or a book. You can do either anonymously, and the ads can be purchased to promote your own blog, or your own ideas.

Thank you in advance.

>>Click to read my Parsha Notes on Va'Yigash

Carmel Fire: Let the finger pointing commence!





This song does a much better job of making the point I attempted here 


Search for more information about [topic] at 4torah.com.
DovBear's Deal of the Day:

Georgie Speaks about Wig-gate; vouches for Heidi and Mendy!




What the video shows:

- A woman who identifies herself as Georgie, ie., Heidi's wigmaker, confirms that Heidi brought her a ruined wig. She also says the ruined wig was, indeed, a custom $3000 wig that was originally created by Georgie.

- The woman also says she made a new wig for Heidi and this was the wig that Heidi wore to court.

BOTTOM LINE: The wigmaker says "Torah learning Jews don't lie". This is, of course, false and legitimately calls her judgement into question. However, I don't see any reason to doubt her on-video testimony or to think she lied.

Though the evidence is incomplete, and some questions I remain, I believe what she says about Heidi and the wigs.


Search for more information about Mendy and Heidi at 4torah.com.
DovBear's Deal of the Day:

Another t'fillin scare


This time the terror strikes New Zealand:

Jewish ritual sparks New Zealand ferry bomb scare
(AFP) – 3 hours ago
Could you blow up this boat
 with a pair of T'fillin?
WELLINGTON — A religiously devout Israeli tourist sparked a bomb scare on a New Zealand ferry when he strapped boxes to himself as part of a Jewish prayer ritual, reports said Monday.
Armed counter-terrorism police met the ferry at Picton, on the South Island, and forced the man and his travelling companion to the ground before taking them away for questioning, the Dominion Post newspaper reported.

It said the incident Sunday occurred when the man began carrying out a Jewish ritual where small leather boxes called tefillin, containing religious verses, are strapped to the arm and forehead.

Ferry operator Kiwirail said staff on the vessel, which had 750 passengers aboard, were concerned about a possible bomb threat and contacted police before it docked.

"One individual had two boxes attached, one box taped to his leg and one box seemingly taped to his forehead... there were what seemed to be wires attached to them," Kiwirail spokesman Kevin Ramshaw told national news agency NZPA.

New Zealand Race Relations Commissioner Joris de Bres said the armed response was unfortunate and showed "an exaggerated fear of terrorism" in the country.

"It's just a reminder we ought to pause and think before we jump to conclusions," he told the Dominion Post.

Police confirmed a man was questioned after reports he was acting suspiciously on the ferry and later released.


Search for more information about [topic] at 4torah.com.
DovBear's Deal of the Day:

Today's Ethics Question


Does the fact that this series seems awfully familiar mean its creators have done something wrong?



HT: Chometz Ben Yayin


Search for more information about [topic] at 4torah.com.
DovBear's Deal of the Day

Shame on the RCBC! Disgusting behavior from Teaneck's Kashruth Vaad!


According to the Jewish Standard a small kosher restaurant in Teaneck is in danger of being run out of business by the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County, the local kashruth Vaad.

The facts of the case, as reported in the paper, are as follows:
  • IMA hired the RCBC to provide kashrus certification.
  • After something undisclosed went wrong, the RCBC severed the relationship, effectivly declaring the IMA was no longer a kosher restaurant.
  • Unwilling to shut down, or serve treif, IMA went to the OK, a second kashrus agency. The OK provided certification to the restaurant after the kitchen was rekashered and all the locks were changed.  The only set of keys are in the possession of the OK's full-time mashigiach. 
And this is where it should have ended. Only the RCBC decided to get nasty.
An e-mail from the RCBC circulated among Orthodox synagogues early last month, however, warned that even under OK supervision, Ima did not satisfy RCBC standards.

“While the OK standards are generally reliable, we regret to say that in this particular instance, its hashgacha does not meet the parameters of the RCBC nor the standards to which our community has become accustomed,” the e-mail read.
The problems with this RCBC statement are as follows:
  1. The RCBC has absolutely no way of knowing if the restaurant does or does not meets RCBC standards. They haven't inspected, or investigated. Whatever problems may have existed in the past, may have been solved under the OK's direction. 
  2. The RCBC hasn't been asked to supervise IMA. Whether or not the restaurant meets RCBC standards is irrelevant.  The RCBS has no standing and no right to say anything about IMA at all.
  3. The OK is a responsible, reputable Orthodox Jewish kashrus organization. If they say the restaurant is kosher, the restaurant is kosher. The end.
What the RCBS has done is unconscionable. They have absolutely no right to cast aspersions on their former client, or on a competing kashrus organization. By saying the OK isn't good enough, they are undermining our whole system of kosher supervision, and their public challenge of IMA's status appears to be a naked attempt to drive their former client out of business. Though I'd like to say the RCBC took this terrible step for good reasons, I fear its more likely that the RCBS is acting out of vengeance and/or from a desire to protect their share of the local kosher supervision business.

Right thinking residents of Teaneck must complain.

Search for more information about mafioso tactics in the kosher industry at 4torah.com.
DovBear's Deal of the Day

NY Post Runs an Article on Wig Gate


I'm not giving the link, however. Those two have suffered enough.

How did this performance get only 9K hits to the Maccabeats 2.5 million?




It's happier, more diverse, with better music and better looking performers plus the production values are superior. Yet to date less than 10,000 hits and no love from Perez Hilton, or the Early Show. Why didn't it acquire a Maccabeat sized audience? My new sneaking suspicion is this: The Maccabeats went large not despite their appearance, but becauseof it. Among the gentiles, a dweeby little Jew in a kippa who can sing and dance to popular music is still a novelty I guess.

Search for more information about this theory of mine at 4torah.com.

A chanukka song for Bush


Vintage footage of a Chanukka aca pella performance for an uncomfortable George Bush from late 2004 (After John Stewart stops talking)

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bush's Hanukah Celebration
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog</a>The Daily Show on Facebook


Search for more information about [topic] at 4torah.com.

The Sheitel Debacle: Analysis


A Guest Post By E. Fink

Over on VIN there is an Op-Ed by Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz. Rabbi Yanklowitz is best knows as the founder / president of Uri L'Tzedek, an orthodox social justice organization. First of all, kudos to VIN for publishing the Op-Ed. Rabbi Yanklowitz is not your typical VIN party-line toeing rabbi.
His basic take on sheitelgate is that is shows a flaw in bitachon.
While this is probably true, I believe this is a flawed approach.