Ok, it's too funny to leave on someone else's blog... first the context. My pal MoC thinks that a certain Five Towns shul that was once was "filled to the rafters" made a serious error by not "thinking strategically."
He says: "[Years ago] the leadership chose to ignore the clear move of that community to the right and stuck firmly to its hashkafic guns. It is now paying the consequences. Perhaps you can say this was a principled response by the founders of that shul. You may be right. But the fact remains that today the shul is empty."
Last night, a skit appeared in Mo's comment thread that imagines what might have been.
THE BOARD MEETING WHICH SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED 15 YEARS AGO
President: Ok, in the near future a bunch of spoiled rotton Brooklyn creeps are going to have their parents buy them houses in our neighborhood.
President: So let's get strategic. What should we do?
VP: Well, we could continue to offer a full slate of outstanding programs for adults, young adults and youth.
P: NO! You fool! That's modern! If you do that, those snotty newcomers will sneer at us (while using our services all the same.)
VP: How about if we invite them to join our board, you know, give them the chance to shape the shul into something they would like...
P: IDIOT! You want to let those Brooklyn people know we're a democracy which allows members to work together to create a shul that matches and reflects their own aspirations? Are you crazy?? Brooklyn people are trained from the womb to DESPISE democracies. If we do that, they will FLEE!
VP: OK... how about if we start shabbos davening at 9:30, instead of 8:30, our current time which allows people to make krias shma...
P: Now you're talking!
VP: And we could remove the elegant pews and replace them with ratty tables...
P: I like it...
VP: And let's encourage all the srugi-wearing members to go someplace else. Their population is shrinking, and the newcomers won't allow their holy-selves to pray alongside a srugi-wearer.
P: Keep talking...
VP: And instead of a devar halacha between mincha and maariv during the week, we could give out kugel... without forks...
P: Nice touch!!
Rabbi: I don't need this crap. I quit.