BOOKIES: MORE DISGUSTING THAN YOU THOUGHT:

"With odds against the pope's survival set as high as 12-1, Las Vegas' biggest sports books took a massive financial hit last weekend when the ailing pontiff pulled off a huge upset against his heavily favored archrival, death.

"No question, it's a catastrophic loss," said Bally's sports book director Tony Silvestro. "You've got a frail and gaunt 84-year-old man with massive health problems and he finally gets the flu. It's like a gift from God for oddsmakers. I've never been more confident of a betting line."

[VIA Las Vegas Mercury: Mercury World Report
PS: The contents of the Mercury World Report humor section are fictional.]