Thursday, May 15, 2014

J Crew bans NON ANONYMOUS comments.


Breaking: Yaakov Menklen doesn't work for J Crew.

We sort of knew this already, but now its perfectly obvious. The dead giveaway came with the announcement of the retailer's new commenting policy which expressly instructs us to comment without including our full names "or anything else that might identify you."


To be clear: J Crew has banned NON ANONYMOUS comments and ICYMI Yaakov is the universe's leading opponent of commenting anonymously. (He once yelled at someone called "Jonathan" for "commenting from behind a moniker.")

Does J Crew, a huge and wildly successful national retailer with an army of paid agencies and advisers know something that small-beans blogger Yaakov doesn't about how to generate provocative, entertaining, online discussions?

We're about to find out.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Noah's Zohar


Very late to this, but I think its always newsworthy when a religion writer, with a Hebrew name, gets basic bible wrong.

Here's Miriam Krule writing for Slate on March 28:

Zohar is not mentioned in the story of Noah.
And here's the bible, Genesis 6:16
צֹהַר תַּעֲשֶׂה לַתֵּבָה
Here full passage reads as follows:

The evil men have mined the land for “zohar.” This element looks like gold and has essentially magical powers—it’s used to make light and, later, for a sort of antediluvian pregnancy test. Zohar is not mentioned in the story of Noah, but the Hebrew word does appear later in the Old Testament in Ezekiel and Daniel and is commonly translated to refer to a light of some sort. 
Only, the Hebrew word also appears in the story itself, Genesis 6:16, where it is understood by the midrash as something used to make light. It seems patently obvious the filmmaker has in mind what Rashi calls "אבן טובה המאירה להם". For her to miss this - and worse to declare it an invention on the part of the producers - is inexcusable for a religion writer.

Better fact checkers, please!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2014/03/28/noah_movie_biblical_accuracy_how_the_darren_aronofsky_movie_departs_from.html


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Monday, May 12, 2014

Castrillo Matajudío controversy


The name of the Spanish town is Castrillo Matajudíos — roughly, Little Hill Fort of Jew Killers — and the mayor who is trying to get it changed is experiencing push-back from traditionalists, conservatives, ancestor-worshipers and jack-donkeys.

Sorry if any of that was redundant.

Still more proof Obama hates Jews

Oh Noze! 

Here is MORE proof that Obama is a Jew hater and concentration camps are just around the corner. The RW lunatics in my shul and on Facebook were right, just as they are right about everything! Glen Beck I apologize for everything.  Now, excuse me while I reduce all my assets into a single diamond and arrange to have it hidden in my molars. 

The  S-curse is getting real people!!

Summer suiting for the Orthodox Jew


How do you stay comfortable while wearing a suit in hot summer weather?

Easy. You wear a suit made from linen or seersucker. Only I can't remember ever seeing a guy walk into shul wearing either of these lightweight fabrics. Have you?

My own "summer" suits are wool. Not heavy winter wool, but something light and unlined. It doesn't feel flimsy like linen and it doesn't hold wrinkles or moisture the way linen does.

Also, if we're going to be honest, I don't have the courage to wear linen into shul, let alone seersucker.

How about you?


Salute warmer weather with this classic seersucker suit! Perfect for a casual summer wedding or dinner at the boardwalk. Features notch lapel and flap pockets. Two-button. Side Vent. Polyester/Cotton.Reply w/ #AmazonCart...
AMAZON.COM

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Friday, May 09, 2014

Hump Day


A guest post by Y. Bloch
This Saturday is hump day. No, the calendar has not been re-jiggered to redefine a week; the last people who did that ended up being sent to the guillotine.
I'm referring instead to the seven-week period of counting between Passover and Shavuot, Sefirat haOmer. For the first 24 days, we are closer to the Exodus; for the last 24 days, we are closer to the Giving of the Torah. But Day 25, the fourth day of the fourth week, is smack in the middle. This year, it's the Sabbath when we read Parashat Behar, the twenty-fifth chapter of Leviticus (OK, 25:1-26:2), which famously starts with the unique verse, "Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai, saying."
The Kabbalists associated certain attributes with each day of the Omer, and the twenty-fifth is netzah of netzah. Netzah is the Kabbalistic trait associated with Moses, and the root has many meanings in Scripture, from victory to eternity to conductorship (orchestra, not train).
The connection of Behar to Sefirat haOmer is quite strong, as the former also revolves around a count of seven cycles of seven, in its case leading to the jubilee year. 49 is clearly an important number in the Torah and of the Torah.
It is thus not surprising that the Talmuds relate this verse to Moses' experience on Sinai (Psalms 12):
Lord's sayings are pure sayings, like silver refined in a furnace, purified seven times over.
However, there is a difference between the approach of the Babylonian Talmud and the approach of the Jerusalem Talmud. The former states (Rosh Hashana 21b), citing Rab and Samuel:
Fifty gates of understanding were created in the world, and all were given to Moses save one, as it says, "Yet you have made him but little lower than God."
The latter (Sanhedrin 4:2) records:
Rabbi Yanai said: “If the Torah were given cut and dried, no one could withstand it! What is the reason? ‘LORD spoke to Moses.’ He said before Him: ‘Master of the World, tell me: what is the Halakha?’ He said to him: ‘Follow the majority' (Ex. 23:2)—if most vote for acquittal, he is innocent; if most vote for conviction, he is guilty. Indeed, the Torah may be expounded forty-nine ways to defile, and forty-nine ways to purify."
According to the BT, the number forty-nine represents a linear progression through successive gates, ultimately reflecting the limits of humanity. According to the JT, there are 49 sets of parallel approaches, allowing Halakha to respond (democratically) to the changing demands of society around it.
On this day, it behooves us to embrace the netzah of Torah--the battle, the timelessness, the symphony.

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How many suits do you own?



How many suits do you own? If you wear them on shabbos only, the right answer is probably three or four.

You want to be able to get through a three day yom tov without going into reruns, and you want to be able to wear two per weekend, without wearing the same suits two weeks in a row. Also, depending on your climate, you may need a flannel or a summer suit - though I can't recall ever seeing a Jewish guy in seersucker or linen in shul.



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Thursday, May 08, 2014

Leon Wiesletier wins the day, clobbers Cross Currents (inadvertently)


What Leon Wiesletier says in his new Diarist is brilliant. It carries messages that every Likudnik, every Haredi, every Cross Current contributor, and every GOP Jews needs to hear and understand.

Please help me share it with them.

Money quote:
And the political and religious variety of the Jews of America is the most obvious fact about them—but it pains the nostalgists and the dogmatists, who see no glory in a plenitude of Jewish dispensations and regard diversity as a historical and ideological disappointment.They prefer to delude themselves with legends of a lost uniformity of opinion that never existed. Quarrel has always been a Jewish norm, and controversy a primary instrument for the development of Jewish culture and Jewish religion. But there are those, the heresy hunters and the truancy hunters, the real Jews, the true Jews, the last Jews, who refuse to accept the community as it empirically is, to engage with the cacophony and its causes, and instead they haughtily promulgate definitions of inclusion and exclusion, certifications of authenticity and inauthenticity. Most of their fellow Jews are, for them, for one reason or another, traif. What sort of expression of peoplehood is that? We are a people, not a sect. Like the pseudo-Sanhedrin in Jerusalem that calls itself the Chief Rabbinate, they know nothing about the wisdom of flexibility in an era of change. They seem to believe that certitude makes fairness superfluous. It was not surprising that J Street’s most energetic opponents at the President’s Conference came from the Orthodox, many (but not all) of whom are so busy congratulating themselves on their righteousness and their fertility rate that they are blind to their irrelevance to the fate of Jews who are not like themselves, which is to say, to the fate of the overwhelming majority of American Jewry.

Wow. And there is much more like this

Ask Mrs. DovBear: How do you prepare for Shabbas?


Yesterday's lifestyle item provoked a strong response on the social networks from people who seemed to take it for granted that pre-Shabbos Happy Hour rests on the back of dissatisfied wives who are left to cook and clean while the men party.  Of course this isn't so, and I'm a bit peeved that this was the default assumption. Why leap to "bad husband" before considering other possibilities?

Look: Pre-shabbos Happy Hour* can be hard to pull off if you have small kids, a disorganized, last-minute personality (or a wife like that) or an inflexible work schedule. But that's not everyone's situation. There are other models. 

*Happy Hour is a misnomer, which also caused some confusion. Typically, these are small gatherings - never more than five guys, and usually two or three - and they never last an hour. Its a quick drink, a snack and come chat. 45 minutes tops.

To get this done, you need time, a chilled wife and an organized household and not everyone has all three. Over the years, most of the men I know who attended this event either (1) worked from home (2) worked nearby; or (3) were retired or unemployed. For years, our host was a young man who inherited a building from his grandfather and spent most of his life developing the perfect barbecued rib. In another neighborhood, a regular host was self-employed.  And none of our wives, if I recall correctly, were women anyone might call disheveled, disorganized or dramatic. 

Let me use my own situation as an example. In what follows, my wife describes her own Shabbos preparations. 

Sunday: Challahs. The breadmaker does most of the work, and challahs freeze nicely
Monday: I bake some kind of counter cake for deserts/breakfast. This also goes into the freezer.
Tuesday: Nothing.
Wednesday: I set up the soup. This means the ingredients go in a pot of water, and the pot of water goes in the back of the refrigerator.
Thursday morning. Soup goes on the stove. After its cooked, it goes back in the fridge
Thursday evening: If we're having chicken or capons, they get stuffed and put in the fridge. If we're having meat, it gets marinated and refrigerated. Any vegetables, like potatoes, that need marinating are also prepared. The cholent gets set up. Occasionally, I'll make a noodle kugel or some other kind of pudding.
Friday afternoon: Birds or meat, that have already been set up, go in the oven (or on the grill.) Vegetables, that have already been set up, get roasted or grilled. (Root vegetables in the winter; cauliflower, eggplant and the like in the summer. Potatoes year round.) Soup gets heated up. On a summer Friday the only thing happening in the last hour or so before candles is the re-heating of the soup. Everything else is done.
Friday evening: While the men are in shul, the daughters set the table and make a salad.

Shabbos Day: I usually go to shul. We set the table and make a salad when I get home. Lunch is usually cholent, a meat salad of some kind, and maybe some deli. If we're having shnitzle (rare) it goes up on Friday.

As you can see, there's no big pre-Shabbos rush and everything is under control by the time I duck out for a quick visit with friends. 

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Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Yom haNaxmaut


 A guest post by Y. Bloch
Another Yom HaAtzmaut (Israeli Independence Day) has come and gone. The flags have been folded, the barbecues have been extinguished, the fireworks have been fired. We, as a nation, are now done commemorating the events of 1948, and we can go get our miniature lambs ready for Lil’ Passover. (I could explain that, but I don’t think it would help.)
Except, of course, that a week from now one out of five Israelis will be celebrating Nakba Day. This is the day that many Arabs and Muslims mark as the anniversary of the catastrophe of Israel’s founding. So Nakba Day and Yom HaAtzmaut both commemorate the events of 14-15 May, 1948, but from two very different points of view.
After all, there can be no overlap between the two. Even if there are Jews who fast and mourn on Yom HaAtzmaut, seeing the day as an expression of defiance of God’s will (or unbridled jingoism), and even if there are non-Jewish Israelis, Christian, Druze, Bedouin and even some Muslims, who celebrate Israel’s independence, there’s still nothing shared between the two experiences. The establishment of the State of Israel is either triumph or tragedy, mandate or massacre, redemptive rapture or racist ruin, joy or genocide. The Middle East, after all, is where Venn diagrams go to die.
Well, the funny thing about Yom HaAtzmaut is that it falls exactly two weeks after the final day of Passover in Israel. The Midrash (Pesikta de-Rav Kahana, ed. Mandelbaum, Appendix 2) notes something interesting about the holiday: the Torah never tells us to rejoice during this holiday. The phrase “And you shall rejoice on your holiday” is applied to both Shavuot and Sukkot in Deut. 15, but never to Passover. It even explains that this is the reason we abbreviate our celebratory Hallel prayer during most of the festival.
Why is joy not mentioned there? Because the Egyptians died during it. Thus, you find that all through the seven days of Sukkot, we recite Hallel, but on Passover we recite Hallel only on the first day and night because, as Samuel explained (Proverbs 24:17), “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls.”
So on Passover, celebrating the Exodus from Egypt, we limit our joy because the Egyptians, AKA the bad guys, died.
In fact, if we look at the other holidays that celebrate our victories over bad guys, we find a similar reluctance to rejoice in the fall of the wicked. As bloody as the Scroll of Esther is, it clearly contrasts the dispensation of Ahasuerus (Esther 8:11), “to destroy, to kill and to annihilate all the soldiers of every people and country who distress them, children and women, and their booty to plunder,” with the fulfillment: “the Jews gathered to send forth their hands upon those who sought evil against them” (9:2). It is “men” whom they kill, “and they did not send forth their hands upon the plunder.” Why is there no Hallel on Purim? “Its reading is its Hallel” (Talmud, Arakhin 10b) Of course, nowadays we fast on the day that the battle took place, 13 Adar.
Hanukka has eight full days of Hallel, but what is interesting here is that our rabbinic sources ignore the military victories in the Book of Maccabees, instead speaking of the miracle of oil. Hanukka is followed by a major fast day as well. It is reinterpreted in Megillat Taanit as a three-day fast reflecting our complex relationship with Greek culture.
So in our victories over Persia, Greece and Egypt, we recognize the complexity of our battles for survival and for independence. We realize the humanity of the other side. Can we not do that today?
Now, I’m not calling for fueling our Independence Day barbecues with burning Israeli flags. But does it really need to be a zero-sum game? Are we incapable of recognizing the real suffering of the other side? Is the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem a worse opponent than Pharaoh? Was Arafat worse than Haman? Is Abu Mazen worse than Antiochus?
I know what you’re saying: keep dreaming. There’ll be thunderstorms in Jerusalem on Independence Day before that happens.
Well, at the moment, it’s raining, with thunder and lightning, in the Holy Land. At least that’s something we can all get behind.


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Guys got to eat: Pre- Shabbos Happy Hour


Is DovBear transitioning into lifestyle blog? Not likely. I'm just sharing my thoughts and experiences as per usual

Now that we're in early-shabbos season, many of the men in the audience are escaping to their decks and patios for a pre-shabbos happy hour. In most neighborhoods, you start around 6 p.m. and wrap things up as close to mincha as possible. Usually, no more than five guys attend, and twosomes and threesomes are not uncommon, with most staying for 25 minutes or less. These are quick things.

** Pre-shabbos Happy Hour might not work for everyone. It can be hard to pull off if you have small kids, a disorganized, last-minute personality (or a  wife like that) or an inflexible work schedule. However, I don't think its fair to assume that it only happens if the wife gets screwed. There are other models.

As a veteran of dozens of these small, informal gatherings I can tell you there are generally three ways to pull it off.

A BAD JOB

The Drink: Want to strike out? Put out a low end beer, like Bud or Coors. There is literally never a good excuse to serve these horrible beverages. And you lose points for using a Red Solo Cup.

The Snack: Chips and salsa. You think you're playing it safe. Really, you're being cheap and boring.

PERFECTLY  FINE

The Drink: You owe it to your guests to pour something decent, plus you don't want to look chintzy. At around $50, Oban fits the bill. Its sweet with a pleasant hint of smoke without being peaty. Larceny is a good up-to-the minute option for your bourbon lovers, and Blue Moon is your can't miss beer.

The Snack: Toss your favorite variety of Jack's Sausages on the grill, and serve them in thirds with a good mustard. No one wants to overeat or get full right before shabbos, so cut them up.  Put out some olives and pickles to go with the chips.

NOW YOU'RE TRYING

The Drink: You'll still need a whiskey/bourbon option for the unadventurous, but you can show you're trying by offering to start things off with a cocktail.

Don't bother with something complicated, and stay away from anything that requires weird ingredients or fruity garnishes.The Lime Rickey (air conditioning in a glass) is nothing but ice, lime, bourbon and seltzer. Thanks to Mad Men, the Old Fashioned is enjoying a reawakening. You can make one in your sleep: Just splash some bitters* on a sugar cube. Soften it up with some water or seltzer and add a slug or two of Rittenhouse Rye.

The Lime Rickey goes in a Collins glass like this nice looking number from Stolzle, Set of six - $37.99 (three left!).

Use a low ball glass for the Old Fashioned. This Borgovo Gotico- $56 costs way too much ($56!)  but feels great in your hand.

* Angostura Aromatic Cocktail Bitters are certified kosher, and can be used to mix up a great OF. $12 bucks from Amazon (and about $8 in your local grocery)



Draper makes an Old Fashioned, but because he's gay he added a cherry and an orange. Don't make this mistake. All you need is a sugar cube, bitters, ice, a splash of water and Rittenhouse Rye

The Snack: While the sausages are on the grill, serve up some dips like matbucha or chumas. Bonus points if you, or better yet your wife, can make them from scratch. [Recipes here] If you are going to use a store-bough chumas, freshen it up with some oil and lemon juice before serving. If you have skills, make some wings, too. Be aware that at a minimum you'll need to section your wings, and render out the fat before applying your sauce.

Make it heimsih: Add kugel of course.

What should you wear? Don't be the dork who shows up in the suit and tie he wore to work. Take a minute to put on a polo (like this black one from Nautica) and a pair of chinos. (I like Bonobos but this flat front pair from Dockers is just fine.)

If you have some better ideas, please share them in the thread.

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Tuesday, May 06, 2014

"Condescending and imbecile"


On the comment thread of his latest post, our friend Yaakov Menken lashes out at someone called "Jonathan" as follows:
"This is why I don't like comments from behind a moniker: in this case, it enabled you to make a remark both condescending and imbecile."
Lets document the atrocities:

(1) Jonathan is a moniker?? Couldn't that be the fellow's real name? Does Menken want the man's social security number, too?

(2) Yaak is using his real name, not a moniker, but isn't his own answer to "Jonathan" more than a wee bit condescending? ("...you have demonstrated an inadequate grasp of the English language,")

(3) And it doesn't stop there. On the same comment thread, he manages to be both condescending and imbecile toward Harry Maryles ("Anyone who finds silent recitation of Tehillim at that time to be offensive needs his head examined, since he has buried the Emes beneath his own haughty attitude. --YM)

Wasn't using your real name supposed to make such outbursts impossible?

And PS: There was nothing condescending or imbecile about Jonathan's original remark.
There's an organization called
CROSS-CURRENTS.COM



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Today's Republican Moron


"Democrats bragging about the number of mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like Germans bragging about the number of manditory [sic] sign ups for “train rides” for Jews in the 40s."

-- Tennessee State Sen. Stacey Campfield (R-7th District) on his blog Monday morning.

Really? Could Jews pay a fee to get off the train? Moron.
static01.mediaite.com



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Yom Haatzmaut 2014

I'm a grateful American citizen, who has always been lukewarm about public celebrations. I don't always do something special on the fourth. I dislike parades. As a result I can relate to Haredi Israelis who prefer to sit out Yom Haatzmaut. Why are they required to show their gratitude or patriotism according to someone else's formula? There is more than one way to show gratitude. Moreover, it can be argued that its inappropriate and unnecessary to purposely and publicly demonstrate or show gratitude to an entity like a state (Personally, I think its somewhat creepy, and vaguely North Korean.)

I also don't see how its hypocritical to take services from a state without also participating in the state's rituals and celebrations. One can take services from a secular state without also being required to accept some set of beliefs about the state, its origins or its purpose. I don't need to believe in Manifest Destiny before I can take a welfare check, so why should any Israeli be asked to co-sign the Zionist founding stories? Am I hypocrite if I take services from the USA without also believing the various American founding myths? Uber patriotic American Christians probably think so, but I don't.

Someone could, for example, say that the state isn't from God because its the result of an unsanctioned ingathering of the exiles that violated one of the Three Oaths. As a result, this state of Israel is just like any other secular state -- not more or less significant. Just as I can take welfare money without beleiving in Manifest Destiny or subscribing to founding myths about how America is a shining city on a hill, or whatever, I can be an Israeli citizen with all the rights thereof without also subscribing to any of the Zionist narratives. That's a perfectly valid, logical and consistent position.

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Monday, May 05, 2014

Oh Goodie: More Jesus


I can't work up the energy to care about the Supreme Court's latest terrible decision. Though I think they got the law wrong, and opened a door dangerous people might use, I find it unlikely that anything too terrible is going to happen. A bland upstate NY prayer for a good meeting isnt going to inspire any pogroms. Still, I wish the rule was iron clad: No state-sponsored Jesus-mongering 
The Supreme Court on Monday ruled that a town in upstate New York did not violate the Constitution by starting its public meetings with a prayer from a “chaplain of the month” who was almost always Christian. 
Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, writing for the majority in a 5-to-4 decision that divided the court’s more conservative members from its liberal ones, said the prayers were merely ceremonial. They were neither unduly sectarian nor likely to make members of other faiths feel unwelcome. 
Sorry, but one gets the feeling that Justice Kennedy doesn't understand the first thing about prayer. While he may come from a religious tradition that is inclusive and polite, most traditions are the very opposite. Their prayers are not ceremonial. They do not make members of others faiths feel welcome or included. By design, they do the very opposite.

More importantly if you believe in the power of prayer and you think your religion is the one true faith you can't simultaneously believe your prayers are ceremonial, innocuous, and inclusive.

In upstate NY, Jews hold the majority in a few villages. Suppose those upstate Jews were to initiate their village proceedings with a few words about God. Would their prayers make Christians in the audience feel welcome? Probably not. As Justice Kagan asked in her blistering dissent, would those Christians be able to reconcile the Jewish prayers "with the First Amendment’s promise that every citizen, irrespective of her religion, owns an equal share of her government.” Again: probably not. And that is what the Court''s majority failed to grasp.

Fun fact to know and tell: None of the SCJs are Protestants.


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Friday, May 02, 2014

Pruz on Sterling


Did you read the new Pruzansky? It's not entirely awful, in that his main point about Sterling is exactly the same thing that I said earlier in the week. Both Pruz and I agree that Sterling's social crime deserves a social punishment.

Unfortunately, Pruz can't stop there. He needs to top things off with a repugnant tirade about how racism no longer exists but, damn it, we have to keep hearing about it thanks to huckesters who get rich from it like Barry Obama and his BFF Al Sharpton.

There will be more to say as I continue to digest his piece, but let's begin by reminding everyone that only lunatics like Pruz who get their info from Fox News think the Reverend Al is a credible figure. The liberal establishment has entirely disowned him. When Al he last ran for president he LOST the BLACK VOTE in the NY primary by 30 percent. Overall he took less than 1 percent of the total votes, scoring less than 30 votes [thirty: not a misprint] in Maine and North Dakota, and 0 [ZERO: not a misprint] in Hawaii and Idaho.

http://rabbipruzansky.com/2014/04/30/race-to-the-top/


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Thursday, May 01, 2014

J Street gets jobbed

Boo on the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations and their vote yesterday to exclude J Street. I have particular disdain for Farley I. Weiss, the president of the National Council of Young Israel, who allowed himself to be quoted by the New York Times, as follows:
"We’re very pleased and relieved, because J Street’s positions were not within the mainstream of the Jewish community,” said Farley I. Weiss, the president of the National Council of Young Israel, which is an association of Orthodox synagogues. “On virtually every single issue, their position is contrary to that of anything that would be considered pro-Israel, and they don’t represent the rank and file of the Jewish community in America.”
Farley is wrong about everything here. More importantly, he sets an absurd criteria for membership in the Conference. The National Council of Young Israel, his own dying little society of middle-aged modern orthodox Zionists, hardly "represent the rank and file of the Jewish community in America." and their positions on women in leadership roles, among countless others, are "not within the mainstream of the Jewish community." (After all the "mainstream Jewish community" includes heterodox groups and NCYI, infamously ,tossed out a member synagogue for the heresy of electing a female president.)

Wouldn't Farley agree this state of affairs disqualifies his organization from membership in the Conference? Or is Farley in the grips of the old, stupid Modern Orthodox / Conservadox fantasy that having a jingoistic, hard right view on Israel is mechaper kol avonos?

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